Summary

The article discusses the common tendency to overlook red flags in relationships due to subconscious choices, leading to heartbreak.

Abstract

The article "How We Subconsciously Choose Heartbreaking Relationships" delves into the psychology behind ignoring warning signs in relationships, drawing from personal experience and general advice. It highlights the initial excitement of new relationships, which can cloud judgment and make red flags less apparent. The article emphasizes the importance of listening to friends' advice, being cautious about rapid relationship progression, trusting one's intuition, and understanding that no one can change another person. It also touches on the influence of societal relationship models and the necessity of self-love to avoid toxic relationships. The author concludes by encouraging readers to learn from past heartbreaks to improve self-awareness and make better relationship choices in the future.

Opinions

The "honeymoon phase" can act as a chemical cocktail that obscures reality and makes red flags seem insignificant.
People should give themselves the same objective relationship advice they would offer to a friend.
Individuals who consistently play the victim in their stories may be seeking to exploit the empathy of others.
Rapid relationship milestones, such as moving in together or getting married quickly, should be approached with caution.
Intuition plays a crucial role in relationship decisions, and unexplained feelings of discomfort should not be ignored.
The portrayal of relationships in media and society does not always reflect what is healthy or right for an individual.
Attempting to change a partner is futile, and accepting people for who they are is more conducive to a healthy relationship.
Self-love is essential in setting the standard for how one allows themselves to be treated in relationships.
Reflecting on past heartbreaks can provide valuable lessons for future relationship decisions.
Increased self-awareness can lead to better recognition of red flags and ultimately healthier relationship outcomes.

How We Subconsciously Choose Heartbreaking Relationships

Red means stop

You are blindsided.

Your relationship wasn’t perfect, but you never expected this. If only you had seen some warning.

With some time and reflection, you realize there were many red flags. Your friends point out the ones they told you. The ones you didn’t listen to.

How did you miss them all and disregard them?

I’ve been there. I could have avoided my divorce if only I had paid attention.

This is what I’ve learned about red flags and why we ignore them.

When The Drugs Kick In

Who doesn’t love the “honeymoon phase” of new relationships? It’s like drinking a chemical cocktail that closes your eyes to reality. Red flags fade away.

Take your emotions out of it. Ask yourself what you would tell a friend if they told you about a potential red flag.

Your friends come to you for objective relationship advice. You’re looking out for their best interests when you give it. Be that friend to yourself.

You Aren’t A Superhero

Your date talks about their troubled love life a lot. They are always the victim. Sparks are flying, so you disregard it.

People who play the victim seek to take advantage of giving people. That would be you here. Pay attention to their accountability.

You’ll eventually see they were only a victim of their bad behavior. Don’t forget relationships take two. Solving their problems isn’t your superpower.

Life In The Fast Lane

You’ve only known them for a few months, but know it’s love. Why not move in or get married? This is the one.

Take your time with decisions based on how you feel in the moment. You must view things objectively. They should understand your cautiousness.

Be honest. You’ve had friends who you thought shouldn’t get married or move in so quickly. You hated the idea. How is your situation different?

Trust Yourself

You’ve met a fantastic person, finally! They have what you are looking for. But something seems off. You can’t put your finger on it.

Trust your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, investigate it. It could save you. Maybe it’s nothing. Don’t disregard your uneasiness.

I dated someone once. Something felt off. One night, we went out, and she forgot to take off her engagement ring. She was engaged.

Faulty Modeling

The idea of good relationships is modeled for you everywhere you look. TV, books, your parents, and other couples around you. There is more to them.

Just because you are constantly bombarded with a message doesn’t make it right. You get to decide what a good relationship is for you.

Women love the movie The Notebook. They never mention the main character being a cheater. They only see the romance. That’s what they want.

No More Projects

“My partner would be perfect if they only did XYZ. I can fix them!” Heartbreak soon follows. You can’t change people.

Good or bad, accept them for who they are. You can nurture potential, but it’s up to that person to realize it.

What happens when you force something on someone? They pull away. The best you can do is accept them and hope they change.

Self-love Is The Best Love

You’re in a bad relationship. It gets worse, but you stay. You think it’s all you’re worth. You’re afraid to leave.

If you don’t love yourself, you’ll accept bad relationships. Take time to build your self-love. It will protect your heart.

Think of the good relationships in your life. Do they treat you like dirt? Would you accept it if they did? Love shouldn’t change that.

So Now What?

Heartbreak is a part of life. It happens to everyone.

That doesn’t make it easier to deal with but show yourself some grace. You will be okay.

You learned plenty of lessons from your heartbreak. Reflect on them.

Imagine yourself in a position where you can spot red flags early and react accordingly. You could avoid potential heartbreak.

Imagine being in your dream relationship because you could weed out garbage and avoid dead-end relationships.

Both are possible with self-awareness.

More experience will make it easier, so don’t let one or a few bad experiences scare you.

Raising your self-awareness and reacting accordingly will change your love life. You’ll see things more clearly. Things will begin to work out for you more often.

So go out there and find your dream partner.