On writing better
How to Write Concisely — Trim the Fat for Lean-Mean Writing
Using the economy of language for impactful communication, aka, less is more
If I ask you to write two essays on pigeons — one 500-word and another 100-word, which one will take you longer?
Logically, it’s a 500-word essay. But, it’s the other.
I have the experience to back my claim. When I write on a topic, my drafts are 3 times longer than the published versions. And if I do not have a deadline hovering…God save me…I can go on and on.
But writing concisely is challenging. You can say that:
Writing is like flowing downstream; Writing concisely is like going upstream.
Why writing concisely helps?
More so in non-fiction.
Between you (the writer) and the reader, there is one link — the words. How you choose them will determine your bond and connection with your audience.
As learning specialist, Donna Zibresky says:
“Strive for the economy of language.”
“How do we say what we want to say, in as few words as possible, while still making it clear to our intended audience?
Time is a finite commodity and asking your reader to slog through paragraph after paragraph is unreasonable, if not torturous, and wildly ineffectual.”
- Holds the reader’s attention. And that is something you never want to lose as a writer.
- Avoids confusion; a clearer message. The reader is not lost in the labyrinth of words. The message is delivered clearly.
- Gains credibility with the audience. Crisp and clear communication always has that effect on people.
Let’s start with the A-B-C
Before you pick up your scissors and trim the fat, here are some basics that come in handy. Some fundamentals to ace this.
With time and practice, you will be able to spot these extra luggages and haul them out of your stories.
1. Chop chop chop the Lee brothers
Usually, they add absolutely nothing of substance and entirely ruin the flow of the work.
That was a ly-overloaded sentence, right? Okay, let’s rewrite it.
They contribute very little, disrupting the flow of the work.
Better? And lighter too.
Well, these are a few of them. There are litters of them finding their way into our writing.
Some of the other -ly brothers are
- totally, [nobody means partially]
- honestly, [no one doubts your intentions]
- seriously, [we know you are not joking]
- absolutely, [yes, we also don’t want it in parts]
- essentially [we will still get the meaning].
2. Be aware of the echo words
My own reflection…Free gift…true fact…Unexpected surprise…End result…Past history…
These are innocuous tag-along words that have seeped into our writing by repeated usage in conversations. With a little awareness, one can purge them, giving their writing a more professional feel.
3. Redundant companions
These are superfluous words that are like holding the nose from the other end — reaching the same place but in a roundabout way.
Circular in shape => Circular The table was circular in shape => The circular table
Complete silence=> Silence A sense of complete silence enveloped the room => Silence engulfed the room
Personal opinion=> Opinion If you ask my personal opinion => My opinion
4. Hunt for words that can replace many
My fussy-eater daughter wants one thing on her plate and makes a face if I serve paratha (Indian bread) AND vegetables. So, I make it easy for her (and me also!) — I serve stuffed paratha (popping the collar).
The thing is if more can be stuffed in less, let’s pick that.
Ran very fast = sprinted Laughed very loudly = guffawed Looked up and down = scanned Chopping off the extra = trimming
5. Are you saying the same thing again and again?
Don’t make your readers work harder by saying the same thing in a loop. It eats up their time. Double whammy and an easy recipe for disconnect. So, let’s fix it.
“I was devasted by the results because that was not what I expected. I froze for some time. It was like I was there but I did not feel being there. Maybe it’s happening to someone else. Not me.”
Okaaay…too many emotions in play there. It’s fine if it’s an integral part of a fictional story, in non-fiction, it might look like a drag. Snip it.
As unexpected as it was, I was in shock and denial. “No, it’s not me” I kept telling myself.
6. Look for clubbing things
Two sentences into one.
For example: We Indians are known for that. It’s in our genes => It’s in our Indian genes. Start chopping off the extra fat => Trim the fat.
A tactical way to shrink the bulky paragraphs.
Time for some live-action…
I thought telling everything in 1–2–3 points would be one thing and applying it on a workable chunk of text would be another.
To do that, I have picked a paragraph from my drafts and will make it concise for you. As you can see it’s chunky for a story.
Stories make writing way more interesting piquing the audience’s interest, but there are some tricky bits about using them.
- Too long and readers lose interest
- Too short and they lose their emotional essence.
Trimming it will allow me to use the story without dragging it too much for the readers.
So, here goes the makeover.
I saw the slithering black thing in the bathroom and shouted at the top of my voice — “Snake!”
Immediately, my mom came running and followed the direction of my pointing fingers. But then, in a moment, I see her looks of concern suddenly change to that of irritation. She told me in as flat a tone she could talk, almost reprimanding me for not knowing it- “It’s a leech.”
From my extremely limited knowledge child’s brain, anything thin and slithering was a snake then.
So, she just walked away leaving me standing there, all devasted and scared, got some salt, and ruthlessly sprinkled on the creature. Yes, ‘poor’ creature. From a villain to a victim in seconds. Because what I perceived as a snake and got scared, now was a helpless little animal fighting to survive.
I didn’t know how to feel about it — relieved or guilty.
And then this:
I screamed — “Snake!”
In dashed my Mom, panick smeared all over her. But as she looked at the ‘alleged’ snake, her concerned look became irritated. And with her flatest tone, she said — “It’s a leech”, as if reprimanding for my lack of knowledge.
(But, come on, for my then-knowledge bank, anything slimy, slithering & thin was a snake.)
Anyways, she calmly walked away, got some salt, and put it on the pseudo-snake. As it wriggled helplessly, it turned from a villain to a victim in seconds.
And I didn’t know how to feel about it — relieved or guilty.
I will not say that this is exactly how it should be done because it varies from writer to writer. Depends on one’s writing style. But I hope I was able to make the point.
Extra tidbits on concise writing
- Sometimes redundant words are okay. Especially when making you want to be conversational. Though they don’t add much value, they make the reading more engaging.
- Do not be too fixated on making everything as concise as it can be, or else it will sound flat and robotic. May also send a disinterested vibe to the reader.
- If it is a complex topic, don’t go miser on words. But do keep a tab on clarity.
- Moderation is good…in fact, for everything in life.
- In the pursuit of being concise, don’t skip details that are integral to maintaining the fluidity of the writing.
- Brevity and clarity — try preserving the right balance.
Finally…
From where I started as a writer to this date, I have witnessed that writing is not about putting words on a paper or page.
It’s about communicating the best way.
Harness the force of power words to evoke strong emotions, create an impact, and persuade the reader or listener to take action.
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