How to Write a Meaningful and Memorable Mother-of the Bride Speech

Create the right kind of emotion without cliché

More and more weddings feature a speech from the bride’s mother, whether or not a father is present. But what to include in a mother of the bride speech? It’s an emotional day for both of you, and your speech is bound to be poignant. But it doesn’t have to be over-sentimental and cliché-ridden. Make the most of the opportunity as the bride’s mother, and prepare a meaningful speech that will arouse emotion without being a schmaltz-fest.

Give thanks to the right people

There’s nothing wrong with opening your speech with a general thank you to everyone. But avoid a monotonous list of thank yous by thanking individuals later. That’s far less tedious for everyone.

But as the bride’s mother, you’re uniquely placed to thank certain people on behalf of your daughter. You’ll likely have observed the bridesmaids’ relationship with your daughter over the years. If they’ve been particularly supportive, why not thank them? It’s fine to slip in a brief story that illustrates this.

It’s traditional to welcome the groom (or second bride) into your family, but why not turn it around to show appreciation for their family’s welcome? Did they embrace your daughter in a particularly welcoming manner? Were they supportive during times that were difficult for your own family? (Think about illness, bereavement, family issues, and so on.) If so, you could acknowledge this — there’s no need to go into personal details and they’ll appreciate you for it.

Avoid clichés

There are ways to praise the newlyweds without spouting clichés such as ‘the best daughter’, ‘the most beautiful’, etc. Be more meaningful.

Maybe highlight your daughter’s good qualities using a brief anecdote from her childhood. Then bring it up to date with something relevant to the woman she is today.

You can be creative when talking about the person your daughter is marrying, too. Think back to when you first met them — is there anything that stood out, good or bad? Can you relate anything from back then to what makes them a suitable partner today? Or did you yourself make any gaffes on that first meeting that you’d be happy to share? Humour provides emotional relief, as long as it won’t embarrass anyone.

Of course, you can also talk about the two being right for each other, but your speech will be more evocative if you avoid tired clichés about them being her ‘best friend’. Or her ‘soulmate’. All couples are ‘perfect for each other’ on their wedding day!

Think of a more creative way to convey why they’re a good match. Do they tolerate her whims better than you do? Is there a story related to something the couple enjoys together (traveling, for example)?

A meaningful theme

You’re probably thinking this is hardly relevant, but as with all good storytelling, a theme can bring coherence (and smiles) to even the shortest speech. Think of something that’s unique to the couple. You could mention it at the start and revisit it at the end. That completes a narrative loop and provides a strong close.

Here’s one idea, involving the song played as the bride walked down the aisle. What’s the story of that song? Perhaps not everyone could name the tune, so you could introduce it at the beginning of your speech. Is there a lyric from it that applies to the start of their married life? If you can incorporate that into your toast, even better.

Key points for writing a mother-of-the-bride speech

1. Keep it short! Three to five minutes is fine.

2. Keep the focus on them, not on how you feel about losing a daughter.

3. Make some prompt notes to jog your memory, as they’ll give a feeling of security. But try not to read every word. Look up and make eye contact occasionally.

4. Stand up and practise. Use your phone to film yourself. Are there any irritating mannerisms you’d like to eliminate? Practise over and over until it’s reasonably smooth.

5. Try your best to smile, as it’ll be audible in your voice.

6. Humour is a bonus, but only if it feels natural to you.

7. Avoid obscure or insider jokes people won’t understand.

8. References to ex-lovers are best avoided.

9. Make a final cliché-check.

Above all, enjoy this opportunity to share your sentiments on this important day.