HUMOR
How to Win the Hearts of the Country Children
While fleecing their parents with legal gambling
He was an experienced cop, a city cop, and an outback cop. Although if you met him, you wouldn’t know he was a cop from the way he appeared. If he wasn’t in uniform, you might think he was a member of the traveling side-show family.
Dark, swarthy, unkempt.
Everyone’s mother wanted to feed him.
Everyone’s sister wanted to love him.
Everyone’s brother wanted to buy him a drink.
His assignment
He arrived in town on a new assignment — take back the town.
When he left the city, he was told about the lawlessness of the town. The previous officer-in-charge had already vacated, as his interest lay in a side hustle, and he was now taking it on fulltime.
Junior officers were — junior.
He settled his family into the police residence beside the Police Station and cellblock, donned his mechanic’s grey coverall, ran his hand over frothy curls, checked his stubble wasn’t too audible and strode into the closest pub.
The publican on his way out stopped mid-stride to scrutinize. A whispered introduction, handshake, head nod, and the cop stepped into the bar.
Heads swiveled in his direction and eyes raised to his full height. Picking up the glass the barman delivered, he gave the workers a nod.
He always believed you could learn a lot from the locals in a bar when they were unaware of who listened. They were, and he did.
A small town, with six pubs and three licensed sporting clubs will provide a clue to one of the major pastimes. It was a small industrial town with big social problems.
Teenage boys worked 12-hour shifts in the mines with excess money to burn and without prospects.
His campaign
The country cop began his campaign for change with the teenagers. And some even younger, who were ripping off milk money from elderly neighbors. The supermarket manager became a good friend and a valuable snitch; he identified who spent large amounts in his store paying for sweets with small change.
Petty theft and vandalism weren’t the kind of pastimes the cop advocated. He let the parents of these crims-in-training know about his country philosophy and his planned comebacks. Fortunately, these jaded parents were only too happy to agree to him showing their children the inside of a cell. Even with the door open, the sense of punishment, the smell of the steel, and the cold comfort of concrete can turn a would-be crim into a cherub.
His friend
A friend with a motocross bike dealership in the city received an invitation for his family to visit for the weekend. The country cop deployed him to all the clubs and pubs until he could hardly stand, or even sit for dinner. The strategic outcome of the inebriated weekend was the friend’s viable interest in working with the country cop to develop a bike club for junior riders. A throng of local volunteers was drafted, plans were executed, money was pledged by parents of pleading children, and all available machinery and men to operate said machines were swiftly donated from local industries.
The country cop’s next enterprise began. The vision was always to raise interest from the young and receive an endorsement from the elders to ensure a comfortable, care-free, and crime-free future for his assigned role in maintaining local law and ongoing ease of enforcement.
His gifted communication skills ensured a donation of land for the track and a private, fenced route from the track to town for riders to access it legally. His friend in the motocross business gained a considerable amount in sales and follow up service but he gave generously in his time and by offering his experience with mapping and supervising a challenging official track.
Within two months, the teenagers were competing around the country circuits. Their parents were on board like never before, supporting them at meets, trailering bikes, and showing an increased interest in what their children were doing.
His youth club
A wider social youth club was formed.
The country cop continued with his persuasive communication skills to ensure fundraising was continued via a limited subscription punters’ club. A lengthy waiting list captured the other wistful punters. One half of the proceeds was the weekly winner’s cache, and the rest was given to the club.
Local children and teens had never been to the state’s principal annual show. The country cop organized a bus — better make it two buses.
The parents never felt like they were missing out on any activities and were always invited to participate. However, they longed for some old-time music and dancing.
Of course, the country cop could accommodate their wishes.
He resurrected taped music from his in-laws’ 40th wedding anniversary. He then searched for and found someone with a sound system. Once more, he used his wily ways, and a venue was donated. A three-course catered dinner was arranged, while the country cop’s wife was seduced into making aprons and bandanas for the youth club members as designated wait staff.
The event was memorable, over-attended, and discussed for months afterward.
His town
Two local industries closed the following year, and several worker’s cottages were put on the market. Many were bought as weekenders by city folks. Long weekends for the city folks in the countryside meant a flurry of visitors. Commercially, this was great for the town, but the number of highway accidents increased, many were chaotic and sometimes deadly.
With only one motel for accommodation in town, the country cop bought home an assortment of guests he managed to catch or collect. These unexpected guests included people needing a place to stay while their cars were repaired. He collected the odd prisoner to house in the cellblock while they waited until one of the junior guys could transfer them. While they waited, with the country cop’s children viewing them from under the door in the exercise yard, they needed to be fed. The country cop often arrived with visiting detectives conducting interviews and investigating cases and needing to be accommodated. And on one occasion, brought home a trailer laden with frightened livestock to be looked after.
There were incidents where frightened dogs would run away following a car accident. This simply meant a broadcast by the country cop, a description of the panicked animal given to the youth of the town, with a plea to find them and bring them into the country cop’s care. Following one of these broadcasts, one ambitious youth brought in a frightened pooch who wasn’t lost but fitted the description of the missing dog.
If asked, then they delivered.
His own young children knew all the young people in town and rode on the back of bikes at motocross events, wearing helmets too big for them, and cared for as though made of crystal.
Everyone wants to feel valued with an earned measure of respect and be acknowledged, always in a two-way direction. Love of what we do, our families, and the community is what most of us want to have in life.
It’s tough for any member of law enforcement to have the respect of the community they serve without self-respect, effective communication skills, and a willingness to participate fully in the community.
This country cop had it all and loved every minute of it.