How to Use the Mind-Body Connection to Get Answers to Difficult Questions
Can your body give you answers that you can’t find otherwise?
‘Oh, I don’t know. I can’t decide.’
How often have you said that when confronted with a question that has an ambiguous answer? There are some questions that have clear definitive answers: ‘Yes, absolutely’. ‘No, no way’.
But there are others that lie in the gray spectrum: sometimes you feel like saying ‘yes’; other times ‘no’; other times, both ‘yes’ and ‘no’: ‘Should I relocate to a different city?’ ‘Should I buy this pasta sauce or that one?’ ‘Would my friend be offended if I tell him that I can’t attend his birthday party?’
You can talk to friends, family, and therapists, but somehow, the answer seems elusive, and you can’t decide what to do/say.
In situations like these, there’s the option of soliciting input from something that might sound odd but can actually give you the answer you need: your body.
There’s a strong and sacred connection between the mind and the body. What happens in your mind affects your body and the other way around too. Some examples of this are commonly understood and accepted: if you’re feeling overly anxious, your heart might beat faster, you might pick your fingers, or you might experience facial blushing.
However, there are deeper aspects to this connection that are often overlooked. Neuroscience-based research highlights how this connection works: When a thought comes up in your mind, it affects the levels of neurotransmitters (which are messengers that carry chemicals from one neuron to the next and can be thought of as two-way communication pathways between the brain and the nervous system) that regulate a lot of bodily functions. A relatively well-known example is dopamine, which regulates aspects like heart rate, sleep, anxiety, mood, and physical activity.
What happens when a new thought — scary, neutral, or pleasant — comes up in your mind? It will cause a change in levels of neurotransmitters, which in turn will manifest physically in your body as a reaction. Your goal is to be aware of that reaction, tap into it and interpret it.
This is an ongoing practice — not a one-time experiment — and as you keep building up the practice, you’ll get better at being aware of this connection and leveraging it to help you get the answers you need.
Here are four practical steps on how to do that.
- Express the question
Let’s say you’ve gotten a new job offer, but you’re not sure if you should take it up. You’ve been Googling it, asking colleagues and family, but you’re not getting a clear yes/no answer.
Here’s something to try: Sit down in a quiet place with no distractions (phones, computers, etc.). Close your eyes and imagine you’ve made a decision to take up the job (or not; either way is fine. The goal is to put your mind in a state where you’ve made the call, and there’s no more going back and forth).
Say this out loud: ‘I’ve taken up this new job. I’m going to start it next week.’
That’s it; you don’t need to add any feelings or expectations. Just give your body the situation sans any emotions so that it can give you an objective and honest answer.
2. Pay attention to your body
Take a few deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth, and focus on your body. Are there parts of your body that are reacting differently than before you made that statement? For example, do you feel clenching in your thighs? Do your shoulders drop down and relax a bit? Do your toes curl up? Does your stomach rumble? Is there a smile on your face? Is your heart beating a little faster?
There may be subtle responses, but the more attention you pay and the more you practice this technique, the easier it will become for you to be aware of them. The key is to cultivate a sense of awareness and trust: awareness of the ways your body is responding and trust in the fact that those responses are as close as you’ll get to receiving the answer that’s best for your mind and body.
If you’re doubting whether you got the right answer, start again with the opposite decision — so, in this case, you’d say: ‘I’m not going to take up this job. It’s not a good fit for me’ — and feel what response you get. Is it different from the previous one? If so, that’s a good indicator that your body’s giving you the best answer.
3. Interpret the answer
It’s very likely that there is a sensory response being communicated. It may be subtle and hard to identify, but it’s there. Your body is responding. It’s talking in a type of sign language that you’re starting to learn.
What you need to do is interpret the answer. Usually, if your body reacts in a tight, clenched, or restless manner, it’s saying ‘no’. If it responds in a more calm and easeful manner, it’s likely saying ‘yes, please’.
4. Thank yourself
Wrap up your practice by placing your hands on your heart and expressing gratitude to your mind and body. This can be as simple as: “Thank you, my dear mind, for tuning in to my body. Thank you, my dear body, for your intuition and support. I love you both.”
Why do this?
I use this practice for a variety of questions ranging from “Do I really want to go visit my neighbor inside his home without wearing a mask?”, to “Should I eat Middle Eastern or Mexican food for dinner tonight?
And I get answers almost immediately: my head nods, and I smile; my eyebrows get tense; my chest relaxes and opens up.
Once you start practicing this on a regular basis, its scope will expand to include aspects beyond just getting answers to tough questions. You’ll get to a point where you may not even have to do it step-by-step — you’ll think of a thought, and your body will respond within microseconds.
Overall, you’d be taking steps in the direction of building the best relationship you’ll ever have: the one between your mind and your body.
Are there ways in which your mind communicates with your body? I’m curious to learn. Feel free to share via comments. Thanks.
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