How to Use Sentence Variety to Enliven Your Writing

How to Avoid Repetition and Open Your Sentences with a Bang

French author Nathalie Léger quotes Mickey Mantle in her book Suite for Barbera Loden. In the quote, Mantle comments on the challenges of writing his memoir A Hero All His Life:

“The hardest thing is the words, how long it takes… the concentration you need to work out what goes with what, how to put together a single sentence. I had no idea that shaping a sentence was so difficult, all the possible ways there are to do it, even the simplest sentence, as soon as it’s written down, all the hesitations, all the problems.

No one is more aware of this monumental battle with the sentence than the writing teacher.

This is why teachers often start writing instruction at the sentence level. As the old adage goes, “Big things often come in small packages,” and the sentence is no different.

Though it seems a small element, the sentence is the foundation of all sophisticated writing. For example, think of the sentences in a written work as bricks used to build a house. The bricks are what give the house structure and solidity; without them, there can be no building. If the “bricks” are ugly or crumbling, it detracts from the appearance and durability of the house.

The same is true with each sentence in a piece of writing.

To improve students’ sentence writing skills, I usually start with the errors I see most frequently. By addressing these problems, I help them add variety, flavor, and sophistication to their written words.

It is my goal today to help you improve one aspect of sentence writing: sentence openings.

The reason I chose this aspect of the sentence to discuss is the prevalence of one common error even advanced writers sometimes display in their sentences: repetitive sentence openings or, to be specific, always beginning with the subject of a sentence.

This problem is mainly created by our first education in reading and writing.

As children beginning to learn to read, we are exposed to simple texts. These texts employ sentences with a common pattern: they all start with the subject of the sentence.

This is done, of course, to facilitate reading comprehension to those who are new to the structure of written language. They need to see the basic construction of a sentence in a repetitive pattern in order to aid comprehension and help them have a model to imitate as they first begin to write on their own.

However, many writers never really stray from this pattern, and it often lends itself to writing sentences that are monotonous and simplistic.

Let’s take a look at how a high school student might write a paragraph on social media and its power in their lives:

I spend most of my day on my phone looking at social media. I scroll through sites such as Snapchat, Twitter, or Instagram for hours at a time. I not only look at these sites, but I also spend time commenting, liking, or retweeting what I see. I know I should be doing other things, such as homework or chores, but I can’t seem to help myself.

Notice how all the sentences begin with the pronoun “I”?

The paragraph is, in itself, grammatically correct, but repetitive openings take away from the possible flair and sophistication that such a paragraph can have.

Here are some common ways you can avoid this pitfall.

I will use grammatical terminology but do not let that discourage you. The term in itself is not important, but the technique is.

1.The Participial Phrase Opener

The participial phrase is a phrase that looks like it begins with a verb but actually works as an adjective phrase that describes the subject [person, place, or thing around which a sentence revolves.] Usually the first word of a participial phrase begins with a verb ending in -ing or -ed.

Look back at the first sentence of my adolescent paragraph above.

I spend most of my day on my phone looking at social media.

Now watch me change the beginning by opening with a participial phrase:

Spending hours at a time looking at social media, I am on my phone most of the day.

Here’s another example:

Hypnotized by social media, I spend most of my day looking at different sites.

By using this type of opener, writers can avoid always starting with the subject of the sentence, in this case “I.”

As with any technique, too much is overkill. You don’t want to use this type of sentence opener all the time or your writing will still be monotonous. Use it as a variation along with the other types of openers I will address here.

2. Infinitive Phrase Opener

This phrase is identified by its sequence of the word “to” followed by a verb: to go, to see, to understand, etc. Usually, when these phrases are used at the beginning of the sentence, they function as adverbs explaining “why.”

Let’s again look back to that first sentence:

I spend most of my day on my phone looking at social media.

Now, watch me change the opening by starting with an infinitive phrase.

To satisfy my addiction to social media, I spend most of my day on my phone.

Here’s another example:

To look at social media, I keep my phone with me at all times.

3. The Adverbial Phrase Opener:

An adverbial phrase gives information on the action or verb in a sentence. It can tell why [as in the infinitive opener examples above], when, where, how, how often or how much.

Many times [but not always]the phrase will begin with a word that ends in -ly.

Here is that same sentence.

I spend most of my day on my phone looking at social media.

Now watch me change it by opening with an adverbial phrase.

Compulsively looking at social media sites, I spend the majority of my day on the phone.

Here’s another example:

Helplessly glued to the social media sites on my phone, I spend most of my day looking at them.

4.The Adjective Phrase Opener

An adjective phrase is a phrase that describes a noun.

Here is that same sentence once again.

I spend most of my day on my phone looking at social media.

Now watch me as I use an adjective phrase to open.

Curious about the lives of my peers and my favorite celebrities, I spend hours at a time on my phone looking at social media.

Note: The participial phrase opener mentioned in the first example also functions as an adjective phrase, but there are other ways besides the participial phrase [such as the example above] that also create this type of adjective phrase.

The important thing to understand is that each of these provides a way to open a sentence without starting with the subject “I.”

5. The Prepositional Phrase Opener

This is the most common type of sentence opener that avoids starting with the subject, so it usually comes more naturally to the writer than the other techniques I have mentioned. Still, it is helpful to mention.

A prepositional phrase is a phrase that starts with a preposition and ends with a noun. Some common prepositions are with, in, towards, inside, by, throughout, from, since, etc.

Here is that first sentence again.

I spend most of my day on my phone looking at social media.

Now watch me as I start my sentence off with a prepositional phrase.

During the day, I spend a lot of time on my phone looking at social media.

Here’s another example.

With my beloved phone in hand, I go about my day constantly looking at social media.

As you can see, there are many variations on how to start a sentence. Changing structure at the sentence level ensures a more dynamic reading experience for your audience and adds sophistication to your ideas.

To show you, I will rewrite the whole paragraph noted above using these styles.

Old paragraph:

I spend most of my day on my phone looking at social media. I scroll through sites such as Snapchat, Twitter, or Instagram for hours at a time. I not only look at these sites, but I also spend time commenting, liking, or retweeting what I see. I know I should be doing other things, such as homework or chores, but I can’t seem to help myself.

New paragraph:

Captivated by the thought of what exciting new social media posts may be waiting for me, I spend most of my day on the phone. To satisfy these cravings, I scroll through Snapchat, Twitter, or Instagram for hours at a time. I not only look at these sites, but I also spend time commenting, liking, or retweeting what I see. Helpless and enslaved, I put off chores or homework. Honestly, I just can’t seem to help myself.

See the difference?

Here’s hoping this lesson will aid you as you build your writing repertoire.

If you like this, you may also like my lesson on how to improve your introductions:

https://writingcooperative.com/how-to-write-an-introduction-worthy-of-attention-5049179e24cd