How to use rejection to your onward, and upward advantage to become the better you

Move on to the next level in becoming the best at what you do

The wait was 4 days. Then the response came. “Rejected” A popular publication rejected an article I posted for review.

My confidence shrunk instantly. Then that feeling you get inside that you’re not good enough consumed my thoughts, taking me back to my final year of undergrad studies. My writing tutor telling me, “If only you could write; You would have made it on the honor roll.”

The writing was my downfall. The excellent grades scored on other subject papers couldn’t make the average to get me among the top candidates of my graduating class.

It’s been 25 years, a Public Relations Degree stowed away in a nightstand drawer, pretty much a similar place to the career I wanted, burying somewhere inside of me.

The hurt from rejection is real

It took me well over two decades to muster the courage to actively start writing again.

“Rejection hurts”. I wish I could tell you otherwise.

The dejection you feel from rejection hurts every time, all the time. The moment you put yourself out there, you become vulnerable to rejection.

But with a little practice, rejection not only gets easier over time. It could make a difference in how you move forward and progress throughout life.

If the impact from rejection has had you buried in hurt and shame for any period of time; Here are 3 strategies that could have you move on in no time.

Accept and take time to process your feelings

“Acceptance is the harshest lesson life teaches us and the one most important to learn”, Rose Tremaine.

You’ll be rejected in life, no matter how hard you try. How good you are at whatever you do or how confidently you project yourself to the world. Rejection will come after job interviews. A draft you present to a client for review. An application for a loan. An audition you want to play the role, or maybe just a simple social media post.

That is why acceptance is critical to moving on from rejection. It however can be the hardest.

Give yourself time to cope by being logical in how you think. Resist the urge to become angry, make excuses, and blame yourself. Instead, be willing and open to analyze your weaknesses and make the changes necessary towards growth.

As much as we think, rejection is a bad thing; It oftentimes directs us towards opportunities for self-growth.

Be courageous. Face your fears.

Put yourself out there. Confront your fears. Brace yourself for criticisms and prepare yourself to face rejections.

Learn more about yourself and let every bad experience become that opportunity you need to build your confidence.

My 25 years of writing dormancy became alive when I wrote an article and submitted it to our local daily Newspaper. It didn't occur to me at the time that I was subjecting my writing to be criticized and scrutinized by its 1.3 million readers.

I just had a message I wanted to put out there. I did just that.

The next morning, I turn the pages to see my article published as a segment headliner.

I was elated. I started to believe in myself again.

The results could have been different. You just never know what awaits you on the other side. You’ll only know when you put yourself out there.

Since that day, I have submitted over 25 articles, 22 of them published. A few taking top spots. I use every rejection as my opportunity to advance to something new and be better at what I do.

I like to write. I am nowhere where I want to be. Every day has become a new challenge to learn and grow.

Use rejection to identify and direct you to the areas you need to grow the most.

If you’re a new or inexperienced writer like me, you will need all the encouragement, support, and feedback you can, to get better at writing. I suggest you surround yourself with like-minded people. Learn all you can from them.

Invest in yourself and learn from experts who have been through the process. They can make it easier for you.

Read books and expand on your vocabulary and imagination. Reading more has been of great help to me too.

The answers to the questions that usually flood your thoughts after rejection aren’t always clear. But the opportunity to learn something new puts you on a path that builds confidence. Enhances personal growth, and an onward upward advancement in becoming the best you.

These days I read more articles that offer insights and help in becoming a better writer.

Some of my favorites are articles written by a top writer, Ayodeji Awosika, whose voice, writing style, and tutoring led me to medium.

Neera Mahajan and Itxy Lopez are worth the following. Neera’s writing has thought me so much about tenacity and consistency and has been a source of inspiration. And many excellent writers on this platform that I continue to learn from every day.

Rejection may be out of your control but only you have the power to take control of how you allow rejection to control you.

Be confident in your abilities. Use rejection as your platform to grow and become the best at whatever you choose to do.