How To Use Psychology To Break Bad Habits

No, forcing yourself doesn’t work

Did you know that 40% of your daily activities result from habits?

These statistics mean we’re living in auto-pilot mode, consciously or unconsciously.

Habits freeze our brain activity to such an extent that it feels like someone is regulating us. Sometimes, it feels as if we’re under some magic spell.

That’s the power of habits.

However, habits aren’t bad.

They act as the backbone of your life. They provide a strong foundation for your productivity. If it weren’t for patterns, your focus would be equally divided into many trivial activities, leaving you with little energy for your creative endeavors.

For example, you can do many things while driving a car. You listen to music, talk, eat, drink, and even adjust your posture while driving.

But do you remember your first day at driving school? Were you able to do any of these activities?

Perhaps not.

The Science of Habit

Charles Duhigg explains in his book, “The Power of Habit:”

“Our brains are wired so that if we do something continuously (either by force or pleasure), it becomes a habit. That’s the beauty of our mind.”

But, just like good habits, we tend to develop bad ones too. Surfing on the web while eating, not exercising, eating junk food, and many more.

Healthline explains why it becomes tough to break them:

“Your sensory nervous system is always monitoring for actions you can take that will deliver a hit of dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical. We’re wired to seek out pleasure.

Our brain likes to remember things that make us happy or sad. This is why we develop habits.

Our brain has a special spot called the basal ganglia where it stores habits and our feelings. But this isn’t the part where we make choices — that’s in another place called the prefrontal cortex.

Habits can be tough to stop because they come from a part of our brain that works without us even thinking about it.

Most people try to force themselves to quit bad habits. But it’s a recipe for disaster.

Research says why:

“The brain can’t distinguish between a healthy and a harmful practice. It craves pleasure. It craves the dopamine. It doesn’t matter from where it comes.”

So, if you understand the psychology behind the habits, you can easily break them without forcing yourself.

The Cognitive Dissonance Theory

I always knew I was wasting my time binge-watching shows. I knew I was harming my physical, emotional, and psychological health by overtly spending a lot of time in leisure.

However, this knowledge and realization weren’t helping me get rid of it.

Every time I binge-watched a series, I felt guilty.

No matter how much I resisted, I always succumbed to my temptations. It felt like I sinned.

And then I used to spend a day or two in silence, making plans, vowing not to do that again. But everything used to get washed away after a couple of days when another Tsunami of impulses would attack me.

A psychological concept explains this situation perfectly.

In 1957, an American psychologist, Leon Festinger, formulated a theory called cognitive dissonance.

“When a person holds two contradictory beliefs, or when a belief is incongruent with an action, it produces feelings of discomfort. The individual strives to change one of the beliefs or behaviors in order to avoid being inconsistent. But nothing works.”

Based on this psychological concept, it’s clear that cognitive dissonance is the result of:

• Your compulsive behavior is against your beliefs.
• You decide to succumb to your desires.
• Making futile efforts to resist a bad habit.

Here’s what I did to quit binge-watching. I am sure it will help you, too, in addressing your toxic behavioral patterns.

Plant a New Belief System

I became aware of the benefits of “not binge-watching.” I made a list of activities I could do in that leisure time.

Ignorance can be bliss, but not while breaking habit patterns.

You need to convince your mind to accept new belief systems. Whenever I wanted to watch shows on a trot, I pulled out that sheet and “reminded myself why I should not continue watching.”

This way, I began to make new belief systems that binge-watching is a time-sucking black hole.

Also, my “to-dos” reminded me of my responsibility toward my goals.

So, try to find as many reasons as possible to quit a bad habit. Your mind will start accompanying you.

Brainwash Your Mind

Sometimes, the technique mentioned above will not work alone. You’ll have to trick your mind. You’ll have to fool it.

As soon as you feel that you’re going to succumb to pressure, call your friend “procrastination.”

The first thing that I do is go to the “bathroom.”

You don’t have to do that.

It’s just my way of buying time to think about what to do next. Staying out of sight (going away from the TV) is out of mind.

In that two-minute gap, I call any of my friends. If not, I review my emails or messages, awaiting my responses.

To “procrastinate like a pro, ” I often did chores.

Ordering groceries online, practicing piano lessons, cleaning the coffee filters, doing laundry, vacuuming the house, etc., were some tasks that kept me away from binge-watching.

Our mind is like a small kid. If we want our kids to forget about candy, we distract them by offering something else. Likewise, we need to find a suitable distraction for our minds, too.

The #1 Tool To Reach The Cause of Your Bad Habits

All your habits follow a pattern. You must observe that pattern to break that chain reaction. Make a log of your toxic habits and note the following:

• Why did they occur? ~ Note your emotions, feelings, and state of mind.
• When did they occur? ~ Not the time. Also, note whether you’re alone or someone triggered it.
• How did they occur? ~ Describe the intensity of your temptations. Write down, “What kind of thoughts made you vulnerable?”

According to Newton’s first law of motion,

“An object will remain at rest or move at a constant speed in a straight line unless an unbalanced force acts on it.”

Bad habits are the same. They always need “a trigger” or “a cause” to operate.

When I started studying my destructive habit pattern, I noticed that boredom and stress were the triggers.

• When I was bored, I wanted to watch TV.
• Whenever I had a bad day at work, I desired to escape that stress by watching TV.
• Even leisure time was one of the factors. Whenever I had nothing to do at home, TV attracted me.

So, there’s always a cause for the effect—simple physics.

If you look deeper within yourselves, you can find other causes like:

• Fear.
• A grudge against someone.
• Loneliness.
• Limiting Belief.

The Only Thing That Makes You Give Up

Negative self-talk!

It is the last thing you want to do when breaking a bad habit.

You’re not able to overcome your temptations today. So what?

Every day is a new day. So, never tell yourself, “I can’t do it. Last time also I was not able to overcome my impulses.”

Every day, you’re generating willpower in yourself.

Let me give you one example if you don’t buy this fact.

When we were small, it was almost impossible for us to walk. We’re scared of falling, bruising, and hurting ourselves.

But we learned to walk.

We think that external motivation helped us take our first steps.

But our willpower made us believe in ourselves to get up and walk. We wouldn't have been walking today if we had not overcome that fear.

Gradually, we developed more willpower to do other stuff like sleeping in a separate bedroom, going out alone in the neighborhood, going to school alone, etc.

The more we grew older, the more strength we gained to face our fears.

So, don’t underestimate yourself for one or two failures.

If you observe your self-improvement journey, you’ll be surprised by your progress.

When I reflected on my behavioral pattern, I noticed that I watched five series a month precisely a year ago. But now, I hardly watch one.

My point is — we’re progressing. We’re improving.

But self-sabotaging only makes you look like a loser.

You might not have overpowered your temptations/destructive habits entirely, but you have come a long way from day one.

That thought will help you stay focused and motivated.

You must appreciate and pacify yourselves when you fail. You must console yourself as if you’re soothing others in their distress.

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