How To Unshackle Yourself From Social Media
Have you ever tried remembering what life was like without social media? I struggle to. I made a Facebook account at a young age and was addicted to it for years. When I discovered Instagram it was the “next thing” that enraptured me. I spent ridiculous amounts of time just scrolling mindlessly.
The problem.
Most people who struggle with a social media “problem” want to jump ship and delete it cold-turkey style. I’ve done this (with Snapchat and Tik Tok) and it can work. But mediums like Instagram and Facebook are a bit more difficult for this method. Here’s why: both hold pictures and memories that are important and personal. So if you’re not going to completely burn it down, the question becomes how to mitigate something easily accessible and highly addictive.
Our brain views likes and followers as rewards. Before Instagram cut out the number of people who had liked a photo, you’d pretty much gauge its “success” based on how many likes you got. We get addicted to social media because it’s a shot of dopamine every time we feel validation. That’s the main issue. Some (not all) people hop on social media to feed their ego, meaning they’re looking for validation.
On a similar note, social media can be used to “unwind,” which really means you get sucked into a giant warp hole waste of time. This is the distraction piece. You can be distracted by social media, but you can also use it to distract yourself from things you need to get done. That’s where the danger is.
The argument against totally axing your social media accounts.
So far I’ve made out social media to be a negative thing, which it can be, but there are a lot of upsides to it as well. It’s basically a digital microcosm of your real-world (meaning non-digital) experiences. Where you might go to school or work and seek popularity, you go to social media for similar reasons. And where there are mean people at work, they’re much, much meaner online, because there is boldness in anonymity. If you’re popular in real life or easy on the eyes, chances are you have a larger follower count. If you’re funny, or educational, you’re probably doing pretty well. It’s a digital social status, which can get ugly. But the beauty in social media is it can connect you and foster happiness; it can make you laugh, it can make you feel not alone.
And as I mentioned a moment ago, some mediums have important memories you don’t want to let go of. Even captions can be meaningful! I love the post I made after my wedding, it captures how I felt (and still feel) about my wife and friends and family. I don’t want to lose that by completely deleting my account.
The question we should answer is: what purpose does it serve?
It took me a long time to answer this. I don’t have a huge digital presence, but I am on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn mainly. I use LinkedIn as intended — for networking and business opportunities — it’s not a big-time drain. Facebook is something I check frequently but barely spend any time on (I don’t scroll down the feed). Instagram, however, is the seductress that keeps tempting me away from productivity and the present. But even more dangerous is that through it I seek validation. And distraction.
But each serves to house memories and keep me better connected with friends and family. In addition, occasionally I find brands I really like through social media.
The solution.
So far what I have found to work the best is taking social media fasts, which get back to the question of how to mitigate social media activity. Breaks from social media can help you realign with your values. Do you care what other people think? Do you appreciate moments with the people actually around you? Are you ever still? That last one in particular is what hits hardest when you deactivate a social media app. Suddenly when you’re bored or tired or just sitting around, you can’t just whip out a phone and scroll.
How I would recommend taking these breaks (or completely axing accounts).
Taking a break from social media is simple, but if you’ve never done it before, it can be tricky. I would recommend following these tips to really breakaway:
- Delete your app — if you want to take a stronger stance, deactivate your account (it will reactivate when you log in). The main difference in deactivating versus deleting is that by deactivating you’re making a conscious decision to let go for a bit. It’s a more intentional act: you’re not going to just re-download the app and hop back in.
- Consider alternative entertainments — social media started as entertainment, so make sure you have something on hand to replace it. That could be a Kindle or a GameBoy, find something that works for you when you’re laying in bed, using the restroom, sitting in a car, etc.
- Download a mindfulness app — every time you are tempted to open up your social media, go to something like Headspace and do a 5–10-minute meditation.
- Put your phone in a designated spot after 7 PM — you don’t need it after 7 PM. Nothing good ever comes from using it past then. The exception would be if you have a significant other to communicate with. I would recommend sticking it under your bed or in your bedside drawer for the night.
- Text or call a family member or close friend — if you’re craving social media, try picking up your phone and communicating with somebody you love. This can alleviate any draw you have to the app and help you refocus on relationships that truly matter.
It all gets back to what purpose is being served. If you’re not finding real value in it, cut it out. If it does have some positive functions, weigh those against the negative ones, and decide if it’s something you want to keep in your life. If so, as with all things, try and find balance by using it in moderation, not to excess. And the best way I have found to do so is by taking time off.