During my first semester at UC Berkeley I enrolled in a graduate class with one of the world’s leading Shakespeare scholars.

After turning in my first essay he pulled me aside after class to say, “I’m not convinced you know how to write a sentence.”

You can imagine the tears — and in front of lingering classmates! As an undergrad student I was already hyper sensitive of my abilities to perform in the graduate sector of the#1 nationally ranked English programs. It was a blow to my ego, for sure.

Though my professor delivered a harsh critique (and evinced a startling lack of self-awareness himself), it was an important experience that taught me a couple of things.

1) Not everyone is great at giving constructive feedback & that kind of raw delivery is their bad, not yours.

2) If you remove the “story” from critique you can nurture positive change.

I coach my students in managing critique/criticism, which is an important skill and way to protect mental health, especially in college and graduate school.

Once you ditch the story, I ask them, what’s left?

Is this relevant?

Can you improve x or y?

Is x or y’s improvement important to you now?

Is this an accurate assessment from your perspective?

For example:

Ditch the story: Prof’s comment made me feel like an idiot. BUT I’m not stupid and I know how to write sentences. The only constructive thing in his comment is that he thinks I could benefit from learning how to write better sentences.

So the question becomes: Should I try to improve my ability to write sentences?

Is this relevant? Yes, as a Literature student my success is determined largely by my ability to write well-constructed sentences.

Can I improve my sentence writing ability? Yes. I can work on clearly communicating my ideas, structuring logic, and using grammar and syntax correctly.

Is this improvement important to me now? Yes! Better now than later; I’m writing all the time!

Is this an accurate assessment from my perspective? The way my prof gave feedback was terrible & hurtful, but improving sentence writing ability is always useful. I believe it’s beneficial to level up my sentences. What he said was inaccurate, the way he said it sucked, but I can use the core of what he said to change for the better.

Turn feedback into actions you can practice:

1. Identify actions
2. Create a deliberate practice schedule/tiny habits

How to improve my ability to write sentences:

Actions:

Create a master checklist for writing and editing to use before & after writing an essay. Read one chapter of Artful Syntax and take notes/practice each Sunday.

Be more clear = remove vagueries from writing, such as “it” “this” “that.” Include definitions. Practice active voice vs. passive voice. Ensure subject verb agreement.

Logic = outline logic & example progression before writing. Draw connection to conclusion from start to finish.

Grammar & syntax = go back to basics and try to write correct sentences, not fancy or elevated ones. Edit using grammar ear. Then run through a grammar editor or take to the writing center to see how well I did.

I can still rankle at my professors comment, but when I strip the story and the delivery and the emotion, I’m able to find an action that I can get to work on for self-improvement. And that’s the real value of feedback.

Thanks for your brilliant article about how to be more self-aware Danny Forest.