How to Transform Your Reality from Depressing to Exciting

By turning your life into fun games

Are you terrified by your reality?

Have you ever thought of your life as being terrible and screwed?

I have — many, many times.

One of these occurrences was a couple of years ago when I got lost in the city I live and discovered that there was not a bus stop anywhere close, my phone died, and I didn’t know where I was, even if it was the part of the city where I lived. And a relatively small city.

I was in a hurry, exhausted by taking wrong busses in wrong directions, ending in-between a large construction and a forest, not knowing which direction to take, and feeling utterly stupid.

The thought, “I want to die,” jumped out of my mouth, and I said it out loud to no one.

As soon as I said it, I had to pull back. “Well, I don’t really want to die.”

I looked around to make sure no one heard me. I didn’t want to be thought of as suicidal.

The fear of being identified as depressed was often there. Isn’t that why we often try to appear merry and happy and find any straw of optimism to hold on to?

Reality versus games

But the fact is, we do often perceive our life as frustrating and terrible.

Just look what the bestselling author and game designer Jane McGonigal says:

“Compared with games, reality is depressing.”

She says this in her New York Times bestselling book Reality is Broken: Why Games Make Us Better and How They Can Change the World.

The quote above is taken from the fix number 2 of in total fourteen fixes that games offer to make reality better:

“FIX #2: EMOTIONAL ACTIVATION Compared with games, reality is depressing. Games focus our energy, with relentless optimism, on something we’re good at and enjoy.”

Reading this, the conclusion is near:

To make reality as exciting as games, we need to turn it into fun games.

Learning from games

But how shall we do that?

Here is what Jane McGonigal says in her other acclaimed book, SuperBetter:

“To lead a more gameful life, you simply have to be open to learning about the psychology of games — and be willing to experiment with new ways of thinking and acting that can help you increase your natural resilience.”

Yes, learning from success stories, which games are in so many ways, can help us tremendously.

Even such dangerous illnesses in the history of humanity (like smallpox and malaria) were not cured by looking at what was wrong with those who were sick, but by figuring out what was different about those who didn’t get sick. That became a known and successful practice in medicine.

I learned about that from Dr. Robert Maurer, professor at UCLA, in his acclaimed book Mastering Fear. He devoted his career to studying success, and the name of his website speaks volumes: Science of Excellence.

Realizing that reality is a collection of games

But in addition to the richness of resources and inspiration, which games provide, there is also another great news:

The reality is already full of games. It is, in fact, a collection of games. They just might not always be designed to satisfy our constantly changing preferences.

What do game designers do when they are keen about a game but which doesn’t sell?

They redesign the game. They do everything to make the game exciting for their players. They modify the quest the game poses, adjust the rules, and improve how the feedback system of their game works — all the time, making one change at a time and observing how the players react to those incremental changes.

Here’s one more good news:

In your reality, you are both the designer AND the player.

When the player isn’t excited about a project or activity “game,” you — as a designer of your life — offer, you have that information immediately since you are the player. Then wearing the designer’s hat, you can adjust the design one little step at a time while observing how your engagement varies and enhancing those features that contribute to its increase.

Players love setting and adjusting parameters in a game. Just think of all the avatars they get to style and create!

The awareness that also your reality is adjustable and transformable into an exciting one is amazing.

Even more so, because the first step in this transformation is to recognize that you can see your reality as a collection of games, which you can make exciting — if you only choose so.

A happy ending of an unplanned adventure

How did my adventure of being lost in the city I lived by then for over five years?

In the most brilliant way.

I decided not to go back from where I was coming but to discover what was in front of me even if I didn’t know where I was going.

I hoped to find a bus stop and then make another attempt to find my way to my destination.

Instead, I found the garage of city busses. There was a little white house where some drivers were walking in after securing and locking their busses, and some were walking out greeting their colleagues with big smiles on their faces and wishing them a great rest of the day.

For a short moment, I felt like a fifth wheel or an intruder. But something helped me to address one of the drivers. I asked him how far was the next bus stop.

“Quite far,” was his answer. “You could say we are in between several bus stops, but they are all far away from here.”

Then he asked me where I was going. I told him about the big grocery store in the area.

He looked at me for a moment and then said, “You know what? I’m going there too. I could bring you there if you like.”

After several “Are you really sure?” inquiries, I agreed.

During the ride in his car, it became clear that he didn’t plan to go there, but decided to help me and, in the end, did some shopping too.

I don’t remember what we talked about; I just remember the pleasure of our conversation and his kindness.

What’s that good for?

What this story says about turning our lives into games? Maybe not much.

Except being open for an adventure, being open to accepting help, and just giving ourselves a break.

Isn’t it what we often aspire when we want to play a game? To give ourselves a break and have just a little bit of fun?

I think it is.

And what happens when we turn our whole lives into fun games?

It becomes a big, exciting, and fun adventure park.

Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed the story above, you might also enjoy these:

P.S. To get an “awareness booster” that will help you disentangle any tough project and a short story that could provide for that first advice of taking time off your stagnating project, subscribe to my newsletter, Optimist Writer.