How To Tell You Married “Well”?
6 months in… Signs I’ve married the right person. Did you?
Marriage can be challenging at times…
I’ve been married for nearly 6 months now and like all couples we’ve had our difficulties but we always overcome them as we both know it’s essential in marriage to communicate.
We can’t go on for hours not speaking with each other or staying upset — thankfully both of us wish to sort things out swiftly when in disagreement.
My best friend recently asked me if I am happy in my marriage and if I still believe that I’ve married right — after all we tied the knot after 8 months of knowing each other — we didn’t waste time. It didn’t take me long to answer.
“Absolutely.”
There are certain signs that scream that your partner is right for you and here they are.
I can be myself — with all the good, the bad, and the ugly!
My husband is my best friend — I love spending as much time with him as I can and I can confide in him with everything. He knows me too well. I am not ashamed to feel insecure, moody, upset, happy, or scared when in his presence. He always knows how to comfort me. I can show my true colors — the good, the bad, and the ugly — without feeling judged or ashamed. Having this kind of freedom is priceless and I would not trade it for anything.
I can share anything and everything with him — there are no secrets!
We all have a few skeletons in our closet and unfortunately, we all did some things that we regret — these things can haunt us in the present. Telling your spouse about the things from your past that are pulling you down will help you get over them sooner and live a more fulfilling life. As I mentioned above, there are no secrets between me and my husband — I trust him and can tell him everything, knowing that he will be there to listen and support me and vice versa.
We have similar life values.
It’s essential to share similar life values in a relationship, otherwise, it’s a recipe for disaster. A common misconception people make about choosing a spouse is that it’s all about love. Love is important, but having similar life values keeps a marriage going in the long run.
Do you and your partner want the same type of future? Have you agreed on whether you want kids? If so, do you agree on parenting styles? Do you agree on how to manage your finances?
My husband and I share alike values. We don’t agree on everything; we have different ambitions but we are ready to make a compromise. But our key ideas about the future align — we both want to have children together, we will be very dedicated parents, and we’ve agreed on how to manage our finances, where to live, and how to live together. We can agree on everything else later.
Shared values keep you together during difficult times and it will bring you joy during the high points of your relationship. Although values can be tweaked, we cannot change them. They define who you are. Couples must share similar values, otherwise, they will live in perpetual disappointment and resentment.
We are supportive of each other.
Support is another key element of marriage — when the entire world is against you, your spouse should have your back.
By supporting each other, you’re not only showing your spouse that you care about them, but you’re also investing in your marriage. When you support each other, you’re saying, “I want this marriage to be healthy. I’m willing to put in the effort to make it happen. You matter to me!”.
This doesn’t always mean you agree with everything your partner does.
Within my marriage, sometimes I wasn’t keen on my husband’s decision.
And while I felt secure enough to let him know I had my doubts, he felt secure in knowing that I’d still support him regardless (so long as it wasn’t harmful to either of us).
We accept everything about each other — flaws and strengths
None of us are perfect. We all have flaws. But it’s important to go into a marriage loving and accepting everything about them — even the parts of them that aren’t their finest qualities.
Of course, not that some things won’t change as you grow together. That being said, you shouldn’t feel the need to change your partner. And they should feel the same way about you, too.
I am glad that my husband accepts me the way I am — of course, there are a few things he would like me to change but it's not a deal breaker to him. My husband is hot-headed and I encourage him to change it but it doesn't mean that I love him less or that I won’t stay with him if never changes — I accept him the way he is and love him like that!
It feels right.
Trust your gut instincts. As they say, “When you know, you know.” If you’re with the person who you should spend the rest of your life with, you’ll know. Something about this person and the relationship will feel special. It might feel like the two of you are soulmates or meant to be on a deeper level. Whatever the case is, it will feel different from it has with anyone before them.
These are just some tips on how to make sure you’re marrying the right person. Keeping these factors in mind can help you bypass a messy divorce and ensure a lifetime of happiness.
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