Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

p id="db15">For example, my husband put a stop to my way of trying to get our son to eat his meals and stop being fussy because it just wasn’t working. After a certain period of time of him implementing his own way of doing things, which was firmer and stricter than I would’ve liked, I started to see some changes in my son and how he would sit down to eat the entire plate of food in front of him.</p><p id="21fa">Now, Andriel looks forward to sitting down next to his parents and mostly eats his entire plate, including the veg. My husband was right, and I was wrong — at least for a period of time (because no one knows the future and kids are unpredictable!)</p><p id="60fc"><b>But my husband didn’t say “I told you so”.</b> He didn’t discredit me as a mother, even if I did question my own decision making. He understood that being wrong is not a bad thing, and also, that <b>I wasn’t “wrong” to begin with</b>. Some things work, and some things don’t work for our children. And some things work for a while and then need to be changed. And that’s OK.</p><p id="4e9d">Parenting, while continuous, is flexible.</p><p id="ec93"><a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-successfully-wing-it-d39222a3d808">And we are all winging it.</a></p><h1 id="101b">Lowering Expectations Is Empowering</h1><p id="cde5">I have this constant need as the main caregiver to simply know what to do and get it right — especially after all the research I do on many aspects of parenting. But the thing is, it is only because of my own expectations that we get upset when things don’t work out. We paint a picture of how things will go, and when they don’t go our way, we self-criticise.</p><p id="3b33">Recently, I have been struggling to make the decision of whether to send our son to daycare. Because of the recent lockdowns, I feared that he wasn’t getting enough social stimulation and he needed to spend more time with other children. We decided to send him to a local nursery two mornings a week.</p><p id="fec8">But that wasn’t my only reason for wanting to send him there. I also needed more time to really step up my game as a writer, begin marketing myself and really work on my book.</p><p id="fa4a">But I’m tired of questioning myself, and <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-get-what-you-want-1973fd008ecb">since taking the road to self-care</a> in order to be a better mother and person, I decided that my reasons were as good as any to send Andriel to daycare at the age of 27 months.</p><p id="d466">It has only been a few weeks, and so far, he does not look forward to going there. I feel in fact he has become shier and clingier than usual. This makes me question once again whether what I am doing is right, and whether the caregivers at the centre are doing right by my son.</p><p id="93a8"><b>I’m ready to assign blame and judge because this is what we do as people growing up in today’s society.</b></p><div id="5778" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/learning-to-enjoy-motherhood-guilt-free-966e7fa38d58"> <div> <div> <h2>Learning To Enjoy Motherhood Guilt-Free</h2> <div><h3>undefined</h3></div> <div><p>undefined</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*o44YftcYVXjSo_va)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="d0f8">But I have to remember that it will solve nothing. I need to readjust my expectations and remind myself that everything takes time and that obstacles are all part of the journey, including my son’s settling in time at daycare.</p><p id="1231">He will get there because he is a strong and sociable little boy. He will be fine because he will still have an abundance of love at home waiting for him when he gets back and throughout the rest of the week. But I cannot decide how and when he will be running happily into nursery in the mornings — that’s a picture I need to let go of, but treasure if it happens.</p><p id="b15a">Sometimes, it

Options

is our expectations that need change, not our circumstances. We have to be OK with hiccups in parenting. Rather, we need not see them as hiccups, but as part of the process of bringing up children. After all, we are only human.</p><h1 id="7806">Takeaway</h1><figure id="facf"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*0ZLtDIAU40LQtOeo"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@drezart?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Andrae Ricketts</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="f3a0">I believe in a mother’s instinct, but I don’t believe in the expectation that it will be there when we need it. If that expectation isn’t met then we will be more than ready to assign blame, and it won’t help us grow as parents or as individuals. In fact, I think that the constant need to meet these expectations is what causes us to feel like a failure at some point in our lives.</p><p id="b5d4">Instead, I recommend a more supportive plan, where advice can be handed out without coming across as all-knowing and dismissive of the parent. We can learn not to feel offended at others’ suggestions in the same way that others can learn not to be judgemental. I advise that others do get involved in taking care of kids, in a non-judgemental “I-told-you-so” way when the main interest is that of the child — not of themselves.</p><p id="1680">Most importantly, we have to learn that <b>mistakes are normal</b>, and most of the time, they’re not life-threatening. We are all human after all, and that makes us susceptible to countless errors over the course of time. In modern parenting, most parents are learning not to scold their kids when they make mistakes because it’s detrimental to their confidence building. <i>We should take that same approach with ourselves and other adults.</i></p><p id="93d5">So, let’s cut ourselves a little slack, and lower that pressure to get it right. Nobody is born a parent with experience.</p><div id="2a67" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/redefining-the-concept-of-happiness-16e5524c2b2d"> <div> <div> <h2>Redefining the Concept of Happiness</h2> <div><h3>How I’m learning about fulfilment from my toddler son.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*6xDaJcMnjn9r6Bow)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="88c4" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-battle-with-anger-as-a-parent-24e7837c5fac"> <div> <div> <h2>My Battle With Anger As a Parent</h2> <div><h3>Ensuring our son feels loved regardless of our feelings.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Me4slkvdZGGCbsbjqQ_7bg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="c95b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-husband-is-a-damn-good-father-de20d1ef2217"> <div> <div> <h2>My Husband Is A Damn Good Father</h2> <div><h3>And he deserves praise.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*Oqw-YSI_IVOLn-k0)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="7dcc"><b><i>Sylvia Emokpae, thinker and philosopher, is passionate about self-love, relationships, and motherhood. <a href="https://medium.com/@sylviaemokpae">See more work like this</a>.</i></b></p><p id="f728"><a href="https://twitter.com/SylviaEmokpae"><b>Follow her</b></a><b> on Twitter.</b></p></article></body>

How to Tell If Your Partner Is Being Unfaithful

Find out if someone is cheating on you.

It can be challenging to know if your partner is being unfaithful. Many different signs can show if your partner is being unfaithful.

It’s essential to be aware of these warning signs, so you don’t get too far into the relationship before finding out they are cheating on you.

“There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it’s the endings we’re unprepared for.” ― Katherine Owen

Part I: Why would someone cheat on their significant other?

According to scientistamerican.com, There are a number of reasons why someone might cheat on their partner — and it doesn’t always mean that you did something wrong or there’s anything wrong with your relationship.

In fact, quite the opposite is true as many people who have been cheated on don’t realize they weren’t doing anything to make the other person unhappy at all. Here are some common reasons behind cheating:

Insecurity
They wanted to feel desired
Loneliness
Jealousy
Low self-esteem
Lack of commitment

This list isn’t exhaustive, though, so if you’re wondering why somebody would be unfaithful, then this could certainly help give you an idea, but sometimes things can be much more complex than just one explanation alone.

It may take digging deeper into what really happened before coming to a conclusion about why your partner cheated on you.

Part II: What are the signs of a cheating partner?

Mood changes

Your partner is suddenly acting differently. They tell you they are stressed with work and need some time alone. When your partner comes back, their mood has changed — perhaps for the worse.

There could be a simple explanation that it’s not infidelity, but you should watch them if this becomes a regular thing to see if there isn’t another reason behind it all.

Secretive behavior

Your partner becomes secretive about their phone or computer. Maybe they are getting messages at night that you don’t seem to know about or trying to hide emails from you.

This can be a sign of infidelity because your partner is doing this behind your back, and it could mean there’s someone else involved.

Other people will notice changes in behavior, especially if there have been physical signs of being unfaithful, such as hickeys on the neck where nobody should know about them apart from you two.

A change in sexual behavior

Is your sex life suddenly changing? Your partner might want more sex than usual, which isn’t necessarily suspicious, but they may also attempt to keep things quiet while they’re cheating on you.

Also, if your partner has been disinterested in sex before and now all of a sudden they want it more often than ever — this could also be suspicious.

If you notice any signs like these, there’s something going on and worth digging deeper into to see what is happening behind closed doors.

Unexplained absences

Your partner might not be as keen to go out with you and your friends anymore, or they always need an excuse for why they can’t come.

This is because if your partner’s cheating on you, it would be much easier for them to stay at home where nobody will notice their absence rather than going out for events like this, which could lead people to ask questions about the real reason behind staying in that night.

Physical injuries

If you notice any physical injuries on your partner that they can’t explain, then this could be a sign of infidelity.

This is because if somebody has been cheating on their partner, then there’s more chance the other person involved will get violent — either with words or physically — and this causes these types of injury.

It might not always mean infidelity, but it certainly means something isn’t quite right in your relationship, which could definitely merit further investigation to see what really caused those bruises.

Please note that not all signs are going to point towards an affair, though, so don’t immediately jump to conclusions before having some proof.

Part III: Tips to prevent infidelity in a relationship

In accordance with Psychalive.org, in order to avoid infidelity in a relationship, there are some things you can do to make sure your partner never strays.

These include:

Be happy with who you are and what you have

Don’t feel like something’s missing from your life because if it is, then maybe this means there need to be changes made by both parties rather than looking for attention elsewhere.

Never stop trying and always keep the lines of communication open between each other so that nothing goes unsaid or unresolved, which could lead people to look for comfort elsewhere.

Make time for one another

This isn’t just about romantic dates but also making plans together, such as lunch breaks at work where you go out somewhere nice, just the two of you without having anybody else tagging along.

Be affectionate with one another and let your partner know you love them every single day because showing the other person they are essential is a great way to prevent infidelity in relationships.

Honesty & trust

One of the biggest things that prevent infidelity in relationships is honesty and trust.

This means being open about your day, telling them if something’s bothering you so they can help sort it out with you, always keeping promises to one another no matter how big or small so there are never any doubts left lingering between each other which could lead people to search for comfort elsewhere.

Don’t keep secrets from each other as this starts creating a divide between both partners where only half the information gets shared instead of both parties having access to all relevant data — such as knowing what their partner does when they go on business trips away from home — and not letting anybody get too close because you don’t want your deepest darkest secrets getting exposed before it has to happen.

Don’t set unrealistic expectations on the relationship

While yes, it’s crucial to stay committed and work on the relationship when needed, but that doesn’t mean expecting your partner is going to solve all of your problems.

This can be in regards to how you live together, setting clear boundaries about certain things such as who does what around the house so there’s no resentment building up between each other over trivial matters because this could lead people feeling like they aren’t getting taken care off properly which may cause them to look for comfort elsewhere.

Please make sure not only are both parties happy in their roles within the relationship but also make sure each person feels fulfilled by being part of this union too so nobody leaves dissatisfied without having anything else waiting for them once they’ve given up on this relationship.

Final Thoughts

These are all great tips that can help prevent infidelity within relationships by making sure there aren’t any other options available at home first before looking elsewhere; which could lead people to feel unfulfilled despite having everything they need right underneath their nose but don’t know how to go about getting these needs fulfilled, so they look outside themselves when really, staying inside is where happiness lies.

“Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up.” ― Patti Callahan Henry

Getting Over Someone

What to do when someone you love really hurts you.

medium.com

The Bottom Line

The first part is some of the signs that might indicate cheating; however, if there’s anything else that you’re worried about, then it may be worth talking to somebody more qualified rather than making guesses or assumptions without any proof.

However, if after digging deeper into what really happened behind closed doors, nothing seems out of place, then this could mean that your relationship is strong enough for both parties involved not to feel like straying elsewhere despite temptation being present sometimes when something isn’t quite right within the relationship dynamic itself.

Please keep in mind that not all indicators are going to point to an affair, so don’t make judgments before you have any evidence.

Thanks for reading! If you haven’t joined Medium but would love to, click here. By signing up for Medium through my referral link, I will receive a small commission.

Originally published at implementationofwisdom.com

This content is for informational purposes only. It was not created to be a substitute for professional guidance, diagnosis, or treatment. Not all information will be accurate. Consider consulting with a professional or a specialist.