How To Tell A Writer She Sucks Without Actually Saying It
Good news, there’s some real simple ways to do that without going full on arse biscuit like the dude in my comments

The other day some dude left a comment on one of my stories. It said something like this. Paraphrasing, in case it’s not obvious…
“This author rambles on and on to make what point? There is no point. Blah blah and blah, and she misses the real issue, which is blah, blah, blah, mansplaining”
I wanted to ask him who he’s talking to. lol.
Erm, sir?
When you comment on my story, you’re actually talking to me. You know that, right? I mean, do you go home and say “this wife needs to bring her husband a beer” or do you say “honey, can you get me a beer?”
How long you had the innernet in your home anyway? Christ. Even the robots in Terminator I knew how to conversate better than that.
Like, you could say “hey Linda, I don’t agree and here’s why.”
I know, right?? Like, people actually do that!!!!!
🙄
Rude people aside, there might be times you kind of want to tell someone their writing sorta sucks. Well good news, there’s some real simple ways to do that without going full on arse biscuit like the dude in my comments.
Here you go. You’re welcome.
1. Just clap once. Trust me, they’ll get the message
I know, I know, I hear all the moaning and whining about the clapping system here. It’s too hard to hold down the icon to clap more than once. Plus, it takes too long. Besides, it’s stupid. You don’t agree with it.
I suppose you also tell the cop where to stick the ticket because you don’t agree with the posted speed limit? No officer, I wasn’t actually speeding because I think the speed limit should be 60 not 50. So there.
Fact is, claps are a rating system here. Remember school? Yeah. Just like that. You just read a story and get to grade it out of 50.
They call claps a “quality indicator” here.
So, like, when you give it a “1/50” or a “5/50,” you’re telling the algorithm what you think loud and clear. IT SUCKS. Eventually the algorithm will spank that writer’s bum real good. And you helped!!
I mean, one is better than zero, but still.
Ouch. I got a one? Out of 50? Wow.
Don’t shoot the messenger. I didn’t invent the system.
2. Whatever you do, don’t scroll to the bottom.
In every writer’s stats, there’s a magical number called Read Rate.
It’s the number of people who make it to the bottom of the story. The more people who make it to the bottom, the more the writer gets paid those sweet, sweet Medium pennies.
They have some fancy schmancy way of determining whether a reader made it to the bottom of the page and I’m not entirely sure what that is.
I suspect most readers don’t know either, because the number of people who make it to the bottom seems abysmally low. So either we’re a bunch of goldfish or something else is going on.
Like, for starters, I’m not sure what the bottom of the page IS.
Is it the end of the story? Or the very bottom under all the other stories? I don’t actually know. I don’t think anyone does. It seems to be big mystery. That’s why I scroll right to the very bottom bottom, but I’ve been called pedantic a time or two, so there’s that.
Anyway, point being, you can really mess with a writer that way, too. Just stop reading before you finish. Because you know what’s going to happen, right? The robot will bring out the spanking paddle again.
I know. I know. I didn’t invent the system. I just try navigate it. Sorry.
3. Fake reading works, too.
God, I’m so naïve. I didn’t even know fake reading was a thing until some other writer wrote about it. I’m still confused.
Apparently, people fake read?
Like — they want the writer to “think” they like their writing, but they really don’t. I guess? So, they fake it. Like, they scroll down the page, but don’t actually stop to digest the words because yuk, yuk, icky veggies.
This is entirely confusing to me. Apparently it’s not confusing to the robots who run the joint. Turns out the robots know when people fake read.
And they take that to mean exactly what it does. Yep, not reading this crap means it wasn’t worth reading. More demerits for the crappy writer. Serves them right for writing such crap!!
Out comes the paddle again. So yeah — that’s another good way to take a dig at a writer. Just fake read.
4. Leave a comment to point out a typo…
When you read a story and hate the writer, just leave a comment to say it’s accommodate not accomodate. Or whatever typo or grammatical error you found. They probably forgot the Oxford comma, too. Idiot.
You know what happens then, right?
The writer forgets about all the nice comments and dwells on that one. Like — I spent two hours on that story and that’s what you took away from it. That I made a typo? Wow.
Because, see, people who “like” my writing do it different. They send a PM about the typo and then comment on the actual writing. So when you just comment on a typo and then leave, we get the message. Loud and clear.
It’s a little passive aggressive, but it works.
5. Just say thanks for sharing…
Let’s play pretend. You’re having coffee with a friend. You spill this whole stressful story about what’s happening at work (or home) while your friend listens. And when you get to the end, your friend looks at you and says thanks for sharing.
And then your friend gets up and leaves. Wow. Talk about feeling dismissed. Belittled, even.
See, that “thanks for sharing” thing comes from AA. Some guy stands up and says his name is Bob and he’s an alcoholic. Then he tells everyone how he ruined his marriage, lost his job and wasn’t there for the kids because of booze. He’s facing up to his demons.
Listeners aren’t supposed to say wow, Bob, you been a jerk. Even if he has. They’re also not supposed to say it’s okay, because it’s not.
So they say “thanks for sharing.”
See, they’re acknowledging — in the kindest possible way — how brave it was of Bob to put shameful stuff out in public .
You should totally respond to writers that way. Zing!!! lol.
This is a little tongue in cheek…
You know, once upon a time, Medium used to show our tag choices at the bottom of every story. So you’d get to the bottom of some piece that ticked you off and then see HUMOR as a tag.
They took those away. Now we have to guess when someone’s being funny. Sometimes that’s easier than other times. Duh.
Someone once said there’s two ways to say hard things and not offend people. The first way is with humor. The second is to write a country song.
Trust me, I should not be writing country songs.
So, it’s a little tongue in cheek. But only a little. Because the system works how it works whether we agree with how it works or not. Kind of like utility bills, taxes, shrinkflation and meetings that should have been an email.
TAGS: Humor, Writing, Reading, Medium, Advice
