How to Teach Someone How to Think
Hint: don’t ask them to think!
THINK!!! How many times have you shouted that word in the face of someone whenever they took an action that got you and themselves in trouble? Let me ask you: Does asking someone to think through a matter magically turn them into a thinking machine? If you say yes, then could you kindly define what you mean by “thinking.” If your answer is no, then what on earth were you thinking when you asked them to think?
Here is a fun fact: almost every person is capable of thinking, but not everyone can think; in fact, most of those who think they are thinking are doing nothing but running in loops, looking for ways to confirm their own biases. So, saying “I think” doesn’t automatically translate into “I was really thinking!” It just means, “in my opinion”.
A great number of people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. — William James
Here is another shocking fact: many people assume that logical reasoning is thinking, but the reality is that critical reasoning is just a mental model, and it differs between individuals, groups, and societies.
Reasoning isn’t thinking; thinking is the practical result of your collective reasoning. You can only confirm that you are thinking when the result of processing a problem through multiple mental models gets you an outcome that matches your initial thought or desire. Most people who want to achieve a beautiful result “A” will reason their process through a mental model “C”; however, they end up getting an undesired outcome “Z.”
Many finance experts are great at reasoning why the stock market goes up and down and how the world economy works, yet they still fail to acquire the right stock and make serious money through stock investing. Most people can reason which people they should get closer to and which ones they should stay away from, yet they still end up miserable in relationships.
Thinking only happens when you follow your reasoning with a simple statement: “Is that so?” I think she doesn’t like me… Is that so? I think I’m going to fail… Is that so? I think this year we will reach a million dollars in revenue… Is that so?
So how does this “Is that so?” help you to think and, most importantly, to teach someone else how to think? Simple! It challenges your core belief system. Let me give you an example. Many people believe that to reach a high level of meaningful life, one has to go through a series of struggles and suffering, and therefore, they conclude that meaningful life is about struggling and suffering. This belief makes them look for every struggle in life and justify it as a necessity for growth and success. But is that so?
How about those who saw opportunities differently and took a shortcut to success? Oh! They are all scammers, liars, and cheaters! Is that so? All of them? How about those who seldom tasted struggles yet still have a happy and meaningful life? None of them exist here! They are aliens who live on other planets! Is that so?
Practical reasoning sees life as neither about struggling nor happiness. Life is life; people are located on different paths, and some face struggles while others find happiness. Some choose to stay and complain, others choose to be happy with it, some decide to move through pain, and others look for shortcuts — their belief system defines their decisions, and their decisions define their outcomes in the playground of life. However, emotional or spiritual reasoning might view a meaningful life as being about struggling and suffering. But which mental model will get you “your” desired outcome of success and happiness in “your” ecosystem? That’s what thinking is all about!
It’s only when you start to see things outside your belief system that you begin to make conscious decisions about how to shift the direction of your life practically. You start to ask yourself, do I have to climb every mountain and dig a hole in every land to reach success? Maybe not! Instead of always looking for the pain, maybe I can look for a quick ethical shortcut within my environment and circumstances.
So, how do you practice this mental shift? Find a book, a seminar, or a video of someone you truly love, admire, and 100% agree with whatever they say. While you are listening or reading, instead of agreeing, ask yourself, is that so? Is this really the only or best way to reach my desired outcome? Most of the time, what you hear and agree with is nothing but something you already believe in. You are no different than a citizen who votes for someone they admire without checking the facts or ethics behind their words and previous actions and if they truly align with their long-term interests.
Most people delegate their thinking to someone else. So they blindly follow someone’s quote, approach to life, or even a myth, to end up with results that don’t match their desired outcome and finally blame life, God, or Joe Biden for it.
You should realize that when you asked someone to think when they failed miserably, you weren’t thinking because if you were, you wouldn’t assign them to a situation that doesn’t match their grasp, or even if they failed, you would understand that they were missing the mental models to reason through a situation and come up with a mostly accurate prediction of an outcome and appropriate action steps. Maybe you wanted to teach them a specific lesson or make them more courageous, but still, you didn’t teach them how to think!
So, how do you teach someone how to think? First, think about the effect of your words before saying them. Telling someone who can’t think through a situation to think harder is only stressing them, and perhaps they will hate themselves and solve any problem altogether. Instead, ask them to slow down first and try as much as possible to “clearly” figure out what it is they want to achieve, what their solution is, and most importantly, find opposing arguments to their solutions.
He made me upset! I will just punch him; he will fall on the ground, and I will win… Is that so? But he might also punch you back and break some bones. He might report you to the police. He might call his friends and cousins and hunt you back. There are so many outputs to a single input. That’s not to say that you should teach people how to chicken out when they are faced with unpleasant circumstances. That is teaching people how to reason different outcomes of their actions and whether they are prepared enough or capable of taking such an action.
You are not only showing them perspectives that are against their “illusional belief,” but you are also asking them to “re-examine their reality and their capabilities” and whether they are truly capable of taking such an action without any negative or damaging outcomes to themselves and to those who might not be behaving in thoughtful manners.
As a business consultant, I see many people get excited about starting a business, but how many are willing to manage it for a month, a year, or five years? They waste their and others’ time, money, and energy over a thing they are not capable of maintaining. That’s not hustling or courageous action; that’s a 100% lack of clear thinking!
The more people become aware of their reasoning process, the more layers and mental models you can help them add. Instead of making them reason every situation through logical sequencing, perhaps ask them about the emotional effect of their actions. Yes, giving your mama $1000 to buy whatever she wants on her birthday sounds like an awesome and logical idea, but does your mom prefer $1000 cash, or is it more touching to spend this money to gather the entire family and celebrate her day together?
Reasoning through culture is another mental model and it adds more clarity to your thinking. It’s okay and a must to do business in China while eating and drinking wine. It’s not okay to force a Muslim businessperson to drink wine over a business deal, even if he is doing business in China. Why? Because most Muslims don’t drink alcohol! It’s forbidden, and if you force them, they might walk away, and you would lose the deal with them!
The more mental models you can adapt and teach others, the clearer your thinking becomes and the more accurate results you get to your initial desires.
ChatGPT or any AI tool can’t think clearly yet but can reason through models and process through predictions. It calculates attributes and gives out probabilities. At the end of the day, you, the human, must make the decision! The goal of clear thinking is to get the most favorable outcome with the least damaging trouble. However, troubles will always happen no matter how good a thinker you are. There are things that you don’t know, and most importantly, everything is dynamic and can change in the moment, and that’s why science is moving toward analyzing every atom as things happen in the moment so that humans can practically think clearer.
So, next time, instead of yelling and telling someone or your team to think, consider pausing and thinking about how you can make your word more effective. Maybe instead of saying “think,” you can break down a problem for them and help them restructure the solution and explain the reasoning or different mental models that went behind solving the problem. Other than that, you are neither helping nor thinking! You are just shouting and complaining! Cheers!
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