How to Talk to Humans

Summary

The text provides guidance on conducting effective interviews for nonfiction writing, emphasizing the importance of engaging, listening, and being open to learning from the interviewee.

Abstract

The article "How to Talk to Humans" delves into the nuances of interviewing people for nonfiction writing. It underscores the necessity of asking open-ended questions to encourage detailed responses, actively listening to the interviewee, and maintaining an open mind to foster genuine conversation. The author stresses the value of silence in allowing interviewees to reflect and share deeper insights, and suggests closing one's notebook or turning off the recorder at times to create a more relaxed atmosphere that can lead to more candid discussions. The piece also advises against being competitive or overly prepared, as this can hinder authentic curiosity and the natural flow of dialogue. Ultimately, the article encourages interviewers to approach interviews as real conversations, akin to engaging with a fellow passenger on a plane, to capture the most compelling and authentic content.

Opinions

The author believes that asking questions that prompt more than a yes or no is crucial for a meaningful interview.
Listening to the interviewee's responses is considered essential, as it demonstrates respect and encourages further sharing.
Silence is seen as a valuable tool during interviews, providing space for thoughtful answers and deeper revelations.
The article suggests that closing a notebook or turning off a recorder can shift the dynamic of an interview, making it less formal and more conversational.
The author advises against over-preparing for interviews, as it can impede genuine curiosity and the ability to learn from the interviewee.
Being competitive or trying to show superior knowledge is discouraged; instead, the interviewer should approach the conversation with humility and a desire to learn.
The author emphasizes the importance of being oneself during an interview, treating it as a natural conversation rather than a formal interrogation.

Approach the species with care! But remember, they’re only human!

My toughest interview ever was with a dog named Biff, whom I had decided to profile for the New Yorker. I persuaded his owners that I needed time alone with the dog so I could really get a feel for his personality, so they left us for an hour or two. It only took me a minute to realize the futility of my task, since, obviously, dogs don’t talk.

But most of the time your research will pair you up in conversation with human beings. Then your real troubles begin. How do you engage a perfect stranger in a meaningful and authentic way, in, say, an hour or less? How do you steer them into providing you with pithy, revealing, interesting quotes? How do not feel like a complete jerk, sitting there with your pen and notebook?

Mastering the art of the interview is critical if you hope to write nonfiction, and undoubtedly useful with fiction, too. Whether you’re interviewing someone who is primary to your story (whom you probably will quote) or interviewing someone for background information, you need to do it well, or you’re going to have a lot of difficulty writing a strong piece. Obviously, each interviewer and interviewee is different, but I think certain rules apply to everyone.

You’ve heard this a million times before, but it bears repeating: Do not ask questions that elicit one-word answers. Make your questions more like prompts than quizzes. “Tell me about…” is a good way to begin just about any question (especially versus something more like “Is it true…?” which can be dismissed with a yes or no).

Listen to the answer. This might seem excruciatingly obvious, but I’ve been interviewed by people who I could tell were not listening to my answer, and it really distracted me (and pissed me off). I’m not sure if it was their body language or what exactly made me realize they weren’t listening, but I could tell that they were not tuned in, and it shut me down completely. Sometimes I could sense that they were looking ahead to their next question, which I can understand — we all fret a little about getting caught without having the next question ready—but it’s a really dumb thing to do if you want someone to feel heard. If you ask a question, listen to the answer, and then respond to the answer. You should have something to say in response, if you’re listening well. At the very least, acknowledge the answer before you move on to the next question.

Did I mention that you should listen to the answer? Let me repeat that, to nag you a little.

Have an open mind. You might have a hunch about what the person is likely to tell you, but if you’re so sure you know what they’re going to say, don’t bother doing the interview. Instead, figure out what the person can teach you about the subject you’re investigating, and let that happen.

Learn to tolerate silence. This is the thing I find hardest, because a lull in conversation makes me deeply uncomfortable, especially when I’m talking to someone about a subject that’s a little bit sensitive. I’ve listened to tapes of myself interviewing people in the past, and I’ve always been appalled by how much I talk and how often I rush in with comments if the conversation sags. Try, try, try to not do this. Silence is awkward for everyone, but you need to give your subjects a moment to think, and if anyone is rushing in to fill the gap, it shouldn’t be you. Chances are, you’ll get some of the best stuff during those stretches. Because I’m so inclined to jabber when the room goes quiet, I try to busy myself so I don’t start — maybe even scribbling down a few details about the room or my subject’s appearance, just to keep myself occupied and keep myself from blurting something out to fill the emptiness.

Close your notebook. If you refuse to listen to my advice celebrating the value of taking notes by hand and still insist on using a tape recorder, turn off your tape recorder. Then sit for a minute and chit-chat casually, as if you’re readying to leave. I have found that this is when the really good conversation happens, when everyone lets their guard down and feels relieved that the interview is over. But, you ask, you’ve closed your notebook! How can you record the good stuff that is spilling forth? I recommend letting the conversation go for a bit, and then saying something like, Hang on, let me scribble this down so I don’t forget, and pulling out your notebook (or clicking on your tape recorder). It seems silly, but it really does work. I think there’s so much tension in an interview, even one that’s friendly, that taking a break changes the dynamic completely. When you start again with taking notes or recording, it feels different. It really does.

Don’t be competitive with your interviewee. By this, I mean, come into the conversation genuinely open to learning something from the person you’re interviewing. If you over-prepare (perhaps go back and read my previous column on the beauty of not preparing) it’s hard to exhibit genuine curiosity. You should be eager to learn something new from everyone you talk to. People can sense your eagerness. People love to feel they know something, that they have mastered something, and that you’re asking them to teach you about it. The more you can convey that, the better your interviews will be.

Be real. This might sound ridiculous, but it’s very easy to forget that an interview is just a conversation between two people, one of whom is asking most of the questions. It’s easy to be stiff and phony in a setting that seems so artificial. You have to work against that. Don’t cling to your list of questions like a life raft. Respond to the environment; chat a little; make small talk. Don’t make the conversation about yourself, but do give a little bit of yourself, even if it’s just a shred about why you’re there or what you’re interested in. Do whatever you can to normalize the setting as much as possible. (That said, do not come across like a car salesman who is desperately finding common ground. Everyone can see through that.) Imagine that you are seated on a plane next to your subject, and you’re just shooting the breeze while you’re flying. We are all good at that dynamic, so try to grab a bit of that attitude. Imagine yourself at cruising altitude, talking to someone with a fascinating story. Before you begin your initial descent, you should have a great interview in the bag.