How to Take Action When You Can’t Stop Procrastinating
From a life-long chronic procrastinator to you.
My earliest memory of procrastination is from when I was about two years old. My father had taken me to stay with my uncle, and I remember feeling so scared.
I remember internally twisting and toiling over a hot cup of tea one morning that my auntie had given me. Instead of asking that she cool it for me, I started overthinking. “Should I ask her to cool it? But I don’t want to bother her. Am I supposed to cool it myself? Do I even know how to do that? If she didn’t cool it, I guess it’s okay to drink it as is(It was not)” I went down the rabbit hole of overthinking and procrastination instead of asking for a gentler cup of tea.
I stayed with my uncle for about eighteen years.
Over the years, my procrastination habit spread to everything. I would put off everything. I procrastinated going to bed, getting out of bed, doing my laundry, doing the dishes, asking for money, asking for permission to hang with friends — Everything.
With time, I noticed a pattern. I noticed that there are four steps I go through to take action successfully. And whether or not you succeed at accomplishing any goal— no matter how small — depends on your ability to notice and overcome the different flavors of procrastination at those steps.
Step 1: Become aware of your needs. Are you sure you know what you want to act on?
“The first step towards change is awareness. “ — Nathaniel Branden.”
Do you know what you want to act on? Are there any discomforts that are making your life unbearable? Is there anything you wish were different? Perhaps a dirty room that you would rather see cleaned, a crying baby that is too loud for comfort, or a writing assignment whose deadline is approaching faster than a cheetah running from its extinction.
Do you know the changes you need to bring into your life? Is it possible that you are oblivious to your needs — some of them, anyway?
Not all our needs are as loud and urgent as an excruciating headache stirred up by a crying child. Some of them are gentle and subtle. Some of our desires show up as quiet, ambiguous negative feelings: such as an aversion towards a person, a place, an activity, or an item. For example:
A few years ago, whenever I came across a half-naked, steamy picture of a beautiful woman, or one of my friends on social media, I would contract and fill up with negativity:
“You don’t have to be half-naked just to get likes”
“Why are people so shallow?
“There’s more to life than having to look sexy!”
I judged, and complained, and whined, to fuel my fragile ego.
But the truth is, I was in denial. I was oblivious to the fact that I wanted to be that bomb, and sexy, and steamy in my pictures as well. And the moment I became aware of this simple fact, all my negativity towards beautiful people started subsiding. My mental commentary slowly transmuted into “Yaaaaaaasss Queen” whenever I came across steamy, hot pictures of my friends or other people.
Their Instagram posts began to inspire me to take action on my own body goals.
How procrastination shows up at this step and how to overcome it
At this stage, procrastination shows up in the form of denial: the refusal to acknowledge your needs and wants — your heart’s desires. And to overcome it, all you have to do is pay more attention.
Observe yourself intensely: watch your thoughts, your emotions, your body, your environment, as well as the people around you. Make sure to be as honest with yourself as you can be. Become sensitive so that you can feel your feelings — your needs — as clearly as possible.
If you don’t become aware of your needs, you will be stuck in the worst kind of procrastination: denial.
Step 2: Overcome inner resistance to taking action
“Inner resistance is some form of negativity, complaining, fear, aggression, or anger.” — Eckhart Tolle.
Inner resistance is any negative thought, fear, or any other negative emotion you may hold towards the action you need to take.
I know this step too well. I grew up on “inner resistance” boulevard. I have built houses of procrastination out of the fabric of this stage. I encounter most of my work at this stage. Yes, that inner work that is so famously making rounds through the self-improvement community. This step is the petri dish in which action-related anxiety and depression breed and multiply.
“This is just so hard,” I claim
“There is just not enough time.”
“A lot of people are surviving on small butts and poor skin.”
I reassure myself to justify not taking action.
Success at this step depends on the beliefs you have about yourself and the action you need to take — a phenomenon known as self-efficacy. If you don’t do the (inner) work that this step requires, you’ll get stuck in endless loops of justification, blaming, self-victimization, and guilt. And it can stretch out for hours, days, weeks, months, or even years.
But if you do the work, if you overcome my inner resistance — your fear — you overcome your largest speed-bump on the path to taking action.
How procrastination shows up at this step and how to overcome it
At this step, negative thinking is (obviously) the biggest roadblock to taking action.
So, become mindful of your thoughts. Take a deep breath and watch your thoughts like an eagle watching its prey. Do everything you can. Do not give in to any negativity towards the action you need to take. Remind yourself that thoughts are just mental labels left behind by your past experiences: that thoughts know nothing of the experiences you are yet to have.
Continue to hold this mental space. Know that you don’t know how taking action will turn out — no matter how much experience you have with it. Because truthfully, you have no idea how it will turn out this time.
Be bold, brave, and adventurous. Dare to journey into the unknown, no matter how hard it might be. Overcome the familiar comfort of resistance and procrastination.
Step 3: Set an Intention
“Say yes to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” — Eckhart Tolle.
Now that you’ve emerged a victor over your inner gargoyles, all that is left to do is say yes. That’s right: “yes.” Saying yes is an internal event. But if you’re feeling particularly dramatic, say it out loud.
Say: “Yes, I will start doing Chloe Ting’s 28-day flat tummy challenge on Monday the 22nd of February, 2021, at 5 pm after work.” This step is where goal setting happens.
So, write your goals down and block out time in your calendar for them. Add daily milestones to your to-do list. Prepare. Buy workout clothes if you need to for example. Be ready to take action. Set an intention to act on your goal.
How procrastination shows up at this step and how to overcome it
At this point, falling back into step 2 is how procrastination shows up.
So, carefully watch out for any resistance — any negativity — that might creep in. And if any negativity arises, go through the steps of overcoming inner resistance again. Make sure to stay alert so that your internal yes does not turn into a no at any given point.
Say: “yes” every time the question of taking action on your goal runs through your mind (because it always does).
“Are you sure you want to start working out next Monday?”
“Your mum is coming over on that day.”
“You are usually too tired after work.”
Your mind will continuously try to trick you out of my goal. So, you have to stay vigilant. Do everything to hold a continual inner space of positive receptivity towards your action: and with that, you’ll have set the intention to act on your goal.
Step 4: Take Action
“Action Cures Anxiety.” — Unknown
This stage is the most beautiful to navigate because it crosses out inner resistance(Stage 2). It kills any negativity and fear that you might have towards taking action.
Stage 2 thrives on time. It flourishes in situations in which you can’t take immediate action. Sadly, in our busy lives, we can’t always act on our desires as soon as we become aware of them. So, we fall into the bottomless pit of procrastination and overthinking.
Therefore, when you have the time, energy, and resources to act immediately, do so. This way, you won’t suffer the dizzying effects of enduring the inner resistance at stage 2. But in most cases, we can’t take immediate action, so you have to stay alert until you have both the time and resources to take action.
How procrastination shows up at this step and how to overcome it
Do not think. Just do.
At stage 4, procrastination happens in two ways: sloth and the inability to stay focused.
Sloth is just the sheer unwillingness to start — to move, so to overcome it, all you have to do is move. The moment it’s 5 pm on Monday, for example, I move my body. No thinking, just moving.
“Do not think. Just do,” is what I tell myself. I try to move quickly. I’ve found that I think less when my body is in any intense motion. Maybe that’s why running reduces anxiety.
So I move my legs and arms as quickly as possible. I get into my work out clothes. I start doing my bicycle crunches.
Once I start, in some cases, the action sustains itself. My mindset automatically shifts until I finish the action — my workout. But in other cases, the second roadblock kicks in. I complain about how hard it is. I think about something else that I would rather be doing. I start to lose focus. At this point, stage 2 has crept in again. Complaining and the inability to focus is another form of inner resistance. But at this stage, all I tell myself is:
“Do not think. Just do.”
I say it to myself repeatedly until I accomplish working out: or any other action successfully.
Final Thoughts
Are you struggling with taking action? Can you see the step at which you are stuck? Do you feel bitter because you are in denial of your needs? Are you drowning in an infinite, raging storm of fear and negative thinking? Are you stuck in an indecisive loop of procrastination and anxiety? Or are you just unwilling to take action towards your goal?
Be frugal and honest with your self-assessment. Figure out the step at which you are stuck. Follow this guide to successfully navigate the nature of procrastination so that you can act on your goals more successfully.