How to Survive the World’s Most Dangerous Sex Position

Ride safely

If I had to guess what the world’s most dangerous sex position is, I would’ve probably said some kind of piledriver. Yeah, it can look good at some angles. But I can’t imagine it’s good for your neck.

Or maybe it’s that one where a guy picks up a lady and bangs her in mid-air. Because I’m pretty sure some of those dudes aren’t lifting with their legs.

And personally the only thing I’m worrying about during sex is having him slip out and dickstabbing me in the wrong hole.

But nope, it’s none of those.

Apparently the position you really have to worry about is reverse cowgirl.

At least, according to a TikTok I came across while waiting for my pizza to warm up.

And that’s because it’s responsible for a bunch of penile fractures, which is genuinely scary and not the vibe I associate with getting on top. I thought it was just a sexy position for confident women. I had no idea horny girls were hopping from bed to bed, riding guys without looking them in the eye, and leaving a trail of broken dongs in their wake.

I guess I’m one of them, too. I don’t think of myself as some kind of badass dickrider, but I’ve reverse cowgirled a bunch of times without knowing I was putting my husband’s manhood at risk.

I just thought I was doing him a favor by giving him a front row seat to my bouncing butt.

Even after hearing this, I’m not going to take it out of my sex position rotation. I’m pretty sure Mr. Austin won’t want to get rid of it, either.

But I might be a bit more careful from now on. The last thing either of us want is for him to waddle over to the ER holding an ice pack over his busted boner.

And if you also want to keep enjoying the beautiful, jiggly bootyliciousness of reverse cowgirl, there are a few things you can do to keep your hard-on safe.

Easy There, Cowgirl

The most obvious advice is to slow down the humping.

Instead of a fast and rough rodeo ride, keep it to a more leisurely pace. Avoid having her do you so rough that she has a tough time controlling her movements — that’s how she could end up bucking her hips weird and shifting your shaft at the wrong angle.

Plus, there are some real advantages to making the reverse cowgirl less athletic.

For one thing, you’re taking the scenic route. Her cheeks might not clap as hard, but they’ll still have plenty of bounce and will be going at a speed where you can really take it all in. She’ll be moving and jiggling in really sensual ways, so you’ll get an incredibly arousing show.

A slower ride will also make it easier for you to give her some decent spanks while she’s doing you.

And as hot as all that is, the best part is that she won’t tire out as quickly. You get rode longer and you keep your hard-on safe — that’s a win-win if there ever was one.

Mind Your Angles

The thing no one tells you about reverse cowgirl is that it takes a minute to get your bearings.

I’m getting pretty good at it now, but for a while I’d have to shift a few times after getting on top so I could get his knob to meet my kitty at the right angle.

It’s already a good idea to take the time to get lined up properly. That’s how you make the position more comfortable and get the maximum amount of stimulation from it.

But now that I know riding it the wrong way could be an OSHA violation, I’m going to take this even more seriously. And you probably should too.

Try to get an angle of penetration that’s straight on, with you sliding into her smoothly and with zero resistance. And if you happen to curve down there, work with it and at least try for a reasonably straight angle.

I personally find it a lot easier to get a great angle going when I’m not riding in bed.

I’ve got a big armchair that works really well for all kinds of cowgirl shenanigans. My sex chair is perfect for it, too. Something about having Mr. Austin and his manhood propped up the right way just makes it easier for me to bounce on it— and make sure it stays safe and sound.

Go Deep, Stay Deep

Alright, I hope you’re still paying attention because this is the biggest safety tip I can give you.

I’m sure there are lots of ways you can break a shaft, but apparently the most common one is slipping out.

That makes total sense to me. All her holes are made to envelop your member and make it feel cozy and at home, not harm the poor thing.

Your rod’s pretty damn safe when it’s inside her. But it gets into trouble when it pops out and bangs into something solid instead instead of finding its way back home.

You slip out of her muff and have a high-speed collision with her pelvic bone — that’s how you end up with a banged up boner, trying not to cry in front of a naked woman.

So if you really want to keep your johnson safe, do your best to keep it inside her.

Get deep in there and stay deep in there. Try to get her not to ride the entire length of your shaft.

It might be hard to resist, because those long thrusts from balls to tip really do hit right. But if you’re at all worried about snapping something, don’t play too close to the edge.

Keep Your Hard-on Safe and Happy

Breaking a penis is thankfully an extremely rare thing. Even when you’ve got an eager cowgirl bouncing in your saddle, you’ll almost certainly get through it with nothing other than a few great memories.

And before you decide to give up on your favorite sex position, I should tell you that people are talking trash about it for no reason.

The penile fracture studies don’t actually warn that reverse cowgirl is risky — they found that positions with the lady on top are the ones resulting in the most injuries. But through a game of TikTok telephone, people started warning specifically against going reverse.

I have no idea why. Maybe it’s a more sensational headline. Or maybe it’s because reverse cowgirl is a fun slutty sex position and some people really don’t like us having slutty fun for some reason.

Oh, and it turns out another study found that doggystyle resulted in more boner damage.

So no matter how you’re doing it or what position you’re in, just make sure you don’t slip out. And if you do, make sure you slip right back in. That’s the best way to avoid injuring yourself — or dickstabbing your lovely lady.

And if you’re still worried about your safety, stick to spooning. It’s not nearly as butt-tastic as reverse cowgirl and no one gets to just lie there and take it. But it’s versatile, it never gets old, and your lovestick’s a lot less likely to end up where it shouldn’t.

This post contains affiliate links to the Liberator Esse, a sex chair I’ve banged on in all sorts of ways. If you click on one and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be getting some great angles in every position!

If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Straight, But… (150th Episode Lovefest) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!

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