The best ways to survive the constant negativity

Don’t let the world dull your shine. Maintain your positivity and protect your energy (and your wellbeing).

by: E.B. Johnson

We are living in a world that is drowning in negativity. All you have to do is log into a social media network, or turn on the TV to find an example of negative thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors staring you right in the face. It feels like you can’t take a step these days without being confronted by someone else’s bad day. So how do you maintain a positive outlook when everyone else seems to fall into darkness? By reshaping your understanding.

By changing the way we see ourselves, our emotions, and the way we interact with others — we can claim a more positive future in our own names. Though our friends and family may be spinning into angry oblivion, we can hold on to the light and keep our heads (and our inner peace). We must first acknowledge how this negativity is affecting our lives, however. And take action in the name of our wellbeing by committing to a brighter future.

We’re living through heavy times.

We are living through heavy times. Half the population is scared, and the other half is angry. An even bigger number of our brothers and sisters are sick, sad, starving, and fleeing violence from horrors untold around the globe. These are challenging times to live through, but live through them we must. To find a way forward, we have to be happy, and that requires that we hold our heads up through the negativity.

If we allow the behaviors, thoughts, and words of others to control our lives we will never be happy. To find any sliver of joy in a society that is tumbling down about our ears, we must strive to find the light and strive to find a way to fulfill our purpose and thrive despite it all.

Stop feeding into the negative comments and all the hate and anger. Stop giving people the arguments they want, and the emotional conflicts that distract them from their deeper truths. Take a step back and start accepting and acknowledging the signs of negativity in your life and your environment. Look at yourself from the inside out and commit to finding a better way forward. Just because everyone around you is living in darkness does not mean you also have to do so.

The cost of surrounding ourselves with negativity.

Are you surrounded by negativity? Do the bites and barbs of others take an endless toll on your happiness and your sanity? The more negativity we’re barraged by, the harder it becomes to hold our heads up. In order to move past this darkness (and toward our own authentic realization) we must know both the signs and the costs of surrounding ourselves with negativity.

Zero motivation

Surrounding yourself in negative behavior or energy is a bit like jumping into the ocean with a weighted jacket on. Though you might fight against it at first, it will eventually drag you down and zap all your energy to persevere. Friends and family who never speak a word of encouragement, or a constant barrage of snide and malicious remarks from internet strangers, can really take a toll. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself listless with no motivation to carry on.

Draining energy

The more depleted your motivation becomes, the further your energy drains. It’s like a self-sustained cycle; a chicken and egg scenario. You can’t be motivated to do anything for yourself when you’re feeling exhausted or drained. Likewise, the less motivation you have, the worse you feel about yourself. The negative thoughts leak in and your energy leaks away (even more). Negative people and negative environments zap our energy and take away our ability to act in the name of joy.

Shifting the way you see life

How do you see life? If you’re a positive person who is surrounded by a lot of positive people and experiences — then odds are you will see life more openly and optimistically. The more negativity you are surrounded by, though, the more likely you are to see life (and everything that comes with it) as hopelessness, pointless, or otherwise, without meaning or without a need to exert effort. It completely changes the way you see life and yourself within that existence.

Impacting cognitive ability

Like it or not, negativity has a direct impact on your cognitive ability. When you deal day-in and day-out with a negative public, or negative thoughts and emotions — it can lead to an inability to make effective decisions, as well as an inability to effectively manage your emotions. You might develop depression and anxiety, or you might find yourself making poor decisions and leaning into addictive behaviors in order to numb your pain.

Lowered self-confidence

Negativity (whether it be in word or deed; digital or live-in-person) takes a major toll on our self-esteem, and the way we see who we are. This doesn’t require a direct insult, or even a public bashing by someone you love. Your self-worth can be undermined through a failing of important people to encourage or support you, and it can also be undermined through casual dismissal and discrediting.

Introducing drama

Are you surrounded by constant drama? No matter how hard you work to live a quiet life, does chaos and conflict seem to follow you wherever you go? This drama can have a serious impact on our happiness and our mental wellness. It stresses us out, distracts us, and drives a wedge into our relationships. The more energy you expend dealing with drama, the less you have to work toward your own goals and ambitions. It’s a negative way to live, and an even worse way to achieve happiness.

Distracting from purpose

Just as negativity introduces unnecessary drama into our lives, it also distracts us from tapping into our true purpose here. Achieving in this increasingly negative and stressful world isn’t easy — whether you want to achieve CEO status, or just building a cottage in the garden. Negative people and negative behaviors serve as a hurdle which blocks up our paths while forcing onto different avenues that are in no way aligned with our ultimate destination.

Taking up real estate

Our lives come with very limited real estate, and this is both in the physical and the emotional sense. There is only so much of us to go around, and this includes the energy we have and the attention we can expend. Negative people and negative experiences take up this precious room in your life. Rather than allowing you to find joy, it opens the door for others to use you up and abuse you.

Physical decay

Perhaps the worst consequence of a life overwhelmed by negativity is the resulting physical decay. Stress, hopelessness, and anxiety have a serious impact on our physical body. The more negativity and unhappiness you allow into your life, the more you may begin to notice increased headaches, aches and pains, or even lowered immune function. Likewise, his negativity (and resulting negative emotion) can result in increased cardiovascular and stroke risks.

The best ways to overcome the constant negativity.

In order to make a place for ourselves in this world, we must learn how to reshape our thoughts and step back from the negativity and self and others. Don’t let darkness in when you seek to dance in the light. Take action in the name of your joy and hold your head high despite the negativity of the world around you.

1. Create space for yourself

First you must create space for yourself and begin piecing together a boundary against all the negativity. We cannot struggle back up the hill of positivity when we are completely immersed and in darkness and discomfort of others, or a stressful environment. We have to give ourselves room to breathe and re-calibrate. To do this, we have to lean into our personal space and acknowledge our genuine needs and desires in this life.

Start setting boundaries for yourself when it comes to your emotions, your thoughts, and the behaviors and decisions of others. Decide what you want your internal landscape to be like. Do you want to feel peaceful inside? Happy with who you are and where you’re at? What do you need from your environment in order to achieve these things?

When we have these answers, we can start considering where our limits lie. What behaviors are we willing to accept from ourselves? How about others? Dig deep and figure out what you need in order to feel fulfilled. Know — in the absolute belly of your intuition — that you have a right to protect your happiness, your wellbeing, and your peace. Set consequences for those who disrespect it, and refuse to accept anything less than you deserve.

2. Stop taking everything personally

Often, the negative beliefs and behaviors of others wear us down because we internalize or personalize it in a number of ways. While a lot of negativity can be directed at us personally, we have to learn to detach from it and see it as de-personal act. Doing this empowers us to see the true motivations and intentions of those who would attack, belittle, or otherwise bring us down with their negativity.

Stop allowing yourself to take everything so personally. Even when the negativity is directed your way, detach from it and see it as a reflection on the sender — not on you. You can choose whether to engage with negativity or not. While your emotions might stir you, you alone have the power to choose what does and doesn’t disrupt your flow.

Leaving feelings like dismissal and rejection unaddressed can cause us to shut down and put up walls against people that might otherwise bring joy or perspective into our lives. In order to find true happiness again, we have to learn how to stop personalizing the disappointing people and events in our lives, and detach in a way that allows to focus on the one person we can change and control: ourselves.

3. Control your own emotions

Emotions are a powerful thing, and that includes the good ones and the bad ones. When we are moved to love, we are also moved to act with optimism and positivity. When we are moved to hate, our actions and our reasoning become dulled, cynical, and without the ability to empathize. On this end, we often cascade into bad behavior, and fall in-thrall to our emotions, which take over our lives in the worst possible ways.

We must learn that we are the masters of our own emotions. Rather than allowing our anger and our upset to move us, we have to stand firm and claim dominion over the type of life we want to lead.

Our emotions are just that — emotions. While they serve to protect us, they have no ability or right to direct our actions. We choose how we want to behave and believe, and we do that be consciously deciding who we are and what kind of future we want to build or ourselves and our families. Control your emotions and you’ll learn how to see the silver lining in life and identify better opportunities.

4. Find the beauty in walking away

Hard as it is to admit, walking away can often be our only solution when it comes to voiding our lives of the negativity that fills it. This might mean distancing or severing relationships. Or, it might mean turning off the computer and walking away from social media for a little while. We each have a different way of dealing, but one truth is universal: some cancers can only be dealt with by removing them from our bodies. Negativity can be that cancer in our lives.

Find the beauty in walking away. Find the strength to separate yourself from those things which do not add value or growth in your life. We should always be striving to make ourselves the authentic person we want to be. That journey can’t happen if we lose ourselves in a swamp of negativity and meanness.

Understand that cutting off the darkness is self-care. Turning off the computer for a day is healing. It’s recharging your batteries; allowing you to recenter your thoughts. There is an uncharted and un-imagined beauty in tapping into the strength to cut and run. When all other avenues are exhausted, the only thing we can often do is stand up for ourselves and shift on to the next horizon to protect our remaining seed of happiness.

5. Disarm and reshape your thoughts

Dealing with the negativity in your life isn’t just an outward battle. It’s an inward shift too. While we can set boundaries and limitations for those around us, we must enable ourselves to do the same when it comes to our negative or limited thinking. In order to truly arm ourselves against negativity in all facets, we must disarm our negative thoughts and reshape the patterns of thinking that dictate our futures.

Don’t allow yourself to fall back into those same old habits. Whenever the negative or self-limiting thoughts kick in, stop them as quickly as possible. This includes comparisons, judgements, and all the nasty self-talk that makes us feel worthless and small. As soon as the thoughts begin, disarm them. “No,” you must tell them.

Shift them to the side and re-frame them in a positive light. Instead of comparing yourself to someone else — claim something you love about your body. Instead of throwing your anger back at a hurt person that’s lashing out for no reason, freeze and see them as the broken child that they are. Life is hard enough without battling our own thoughts. Put that pattern to an end by disarming your negative thoughts and reshaping them to positive statements.

Putting it all together…

It feels like we’re living in a world that’s drowning in negativity. No matter where you look, it’s staring you in the face. Everyone seems to have something nasty to say, and more and more have negative behavior to back it up. When it feels like you’re losing yourself in the darkness, you have to stand up and take action for yourself — but it’s a process that requires both honesty and commitment.

Create space for yourself and build a barrier between the negativity in the world and your own sacred wellbeing. Rather than taking everything personally, see the beliefs and behaviors of others as a reflection of the scared and hurt children that they really are. Master your own emotions, then use this power to tap into the courage to walk away when the time comes. Sometimes, there is only so much boundary-setting you can do. Protecting our wellbeing can often come down to cutting out the negativity altogether and finding a new palace to sink down our positive and life-affirming roots. Find the beauty in this, then find the beauty in disarming and reshaping the negative thoughts of your own. Once you’ve retrained your brain to see the good where you once saw the bad, you’ll unlock the secret to an authentically happy and fulfilling life.