How to Surrender, Let Go and Trust

Hold yourself gently as you process unexpected change

Do you trust everything in your life is in perfect (or Divine) order, whether you understand it or not? Do you believe the universe has your back, no matter what’s happening?

Most of us find it hard to trust to that degree. We cringe when unexpected change or painful difficulties arise. The last thing we want to hear is that everything is in divine order. I’m no exception.

But our inability to accept change and let go only adds to our pain, doesn’t it? Wouldn’t life feel easier if you could let go of expectations and resistance to change, and instead flow with what is?

But how do you get there?

Your Mindset About Letting Go Matters

If you find yourself clinging to what was, but want to learn to let go, you might need to adjust your view about why things happen in this world.

How do you see difficulties? Do you see them as an opportunity or a test? Or do you see them as a punishment, bad luck, or a random occurrence?

The first approach places you in the empowered role of co-creator. The second keeps you stuck in a victim stance.

Below, I’ll share three alternative explanations for why difficult things happen to us. I don’t expect you to believe one or more of these ideas as the absolute truth. For example, I don’t ascribe to the idea of soul contracts myself.

But opening our mind to alternative explanations can be a way to move out of victim mode into a more empowered stance in relation to life challenges.

Ready?

1. Soul Contracts

We enter into Soul Contracts (also known as Soul Agreements or Sacred Contacts) prior to birth with one or more individuals. We establish these agreements according to the lessons we wish to learn in our new life. The soul contracts we make, help us progress personally and spiritually.

During a particular lifetime, we will connect with specific people who will help us fulfill our soul contracts. Events occur, both ones we deem positive and ones we see as difficult or even negative, that push us to learn, grow, and bring our sacred contract to fruition.

2. Karma, the Law of Cause and Effect

The word “karma” means action. All actions have consequences for better or for worse. Those consequences may not occur immediately. They can happen later in this life or even in the next life.

Everything significant in our life comes about as a result of our past actions, karmic connections, and the habitual tendencies we form when we repeat the same types of actions again and again.

If we learn and grow from our experiences, and as a result think, speak, and act differently, in positive ways instead of negative ones, we change our karma for the better. If we repeat the same self-defeating habitual actions, we strengthen negative karmic patterns. As a result, we’re more likely to repeat the same unrewarding behaviors in the future.

In short, good actions lead to positive results. Harmful actions lead to harmful results.

3. The Power of An Eclipse

In astrology, it’s said that an eclipse can illuminate areas of our life that need to change. Lunar eclipses signify endings and solar eclipses introduce new beginnings. Several eclipses occur each year.

Each eclipse effects different astrological signs. When an eclipse impacts your birth sign, you may receive unexpected news or undergo surprise changes intended to accelerate your growth.

These changes are usually initiated externally, by another person, event, or situation that’s out of your control. In fact, change that occurs around the time of an eclipse is often irreversible. As a result, you may experience a major turning point in your life.

I’m not suggesting the arrangement of planets causes change to occur. But it seems to part the veils and illuminate the need for something new and different. As a result, people tend to initiate change more during these times.

In the context of an eclipse, a change can feel unexpected and even shocking. But you still have a choice to see yourself as a victim or as an empowered person who will rise up in response to a difficult circumstance.

Even if you don’t relate to any of the possibilities I listed above, take a moment to think about how you can make sense of change so it feels more palatable.

We’re Not Taught to Let Go

I don’t believe any of these perspectives are the one and only truth. They are different maps of reality intended to help us navigate life with a little more ease and perspective, especially the difficult times.

I feel better when I open to the idea that things occur for a reason and actually for my benefit, as difficult as it may feel in the moment.

Our culture feeds us the “happily ever after” version of reality, or the “American dream” account, where everyone ends up with their fantasy home, ideal partner, and favorite cars.

But life isn’t really like that, is it? Good things happen, but we’re all subject to birth, old age, sickness, and death as well. Impermanence rules our world; subtle change occurs in every moment. We often suffer because we fail to accept the fundamental truth of impermanence.

Ask yourself:

• Are you living your life as if everything will always stay the same or become your dream ideal?
• How attached are you to these outcomes?
• How will you feel when the universe throws you a curve ball — because at some point, it almost always does?

It’s human to feel grief and loss when we undergo major life changes, even if we accept, at some level, that everything is impermanent. It would be unnatural not to grieve.

But if you get stuck ruminating about a loss for months and years, wanting what was and refusing to let go, you only continue to suffer. And a good part of your suffering comes from your own mind.

Even with that awareness, letting go does not come easily for most of us. On a primal level, our bodies are wired for survival. The loss of anything we believe to be associated with our survival — our income, our home, our partner — can throw us into flight, fight or freeze mode, territory not under the sole direction of the conscious mind.

Learning to let go is a process that takes time. It’s not as black and white as being either a victim or an empowered individual. Those are two ends of a spectrum. Set a goal to move away from the victim end of the spectrum and closer to the empowered end.

Hold yourself gently as you process through change and learn to surrender, let go, and trust.

In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself. — Deepak Chopra

A Healing Process for Letting Go

One way to practice letting go is to hand your concerns, uncertainties, and troubles over to the Divine. This means doing your best to surrender your attachment to the outcome, and trust what is meant to be will be. Of course, you still need to do your part, but you also let go of strong attachment to a particular outcome.

Try this practice from the Mother Mary Oracle Guidebook. If you don’t relate to Mother Mary, envision another figure or simply visualize a positive energy in the form of white light.

“Sense yourself standing on a clear, bright day in a beautiful place in nature.

As you explore this place in nature, you find a woman in long white robes holding out her hands. As you move closer you notice the she is smiling at you, and as you look down at her hands, white roses appear.

She asks you what is troubling you. Tell her. If you are not sure, tell her that!

You then say, ‘Mother Mary, who loves me unconditionally, please help me now. I hand over my problems to you and ask for peace. Help me know when to act and when to wait, and help me find the best way through this situation. Thank you.’

She smiles at you and gently raises her hands until white rose petals cascade around you, slowly falling to the ground around your feet, perfuming the air with soft fragrance.

See, sense or feel, or smell, the descending petals around you and at your feet. Stay with that sensation, strong or subtle, for several long, slow breaths.

If you can, sense her peace in your heart and know that she has taken your troubles, and is gifting you with a solution which will manifest itself in your life, in the perfect time and the perfect way.

Finish your healing with this affirmation:

‘The peace of the Mother fills my heart, as I let go into her endless genius and grace.’”

Final Thoughts

Try out the visualization and see how it feels. Afterward, do you feel even a glimmer of peace? If so, that’s a good sign. Keep working with the healing process. Gradually, you’ll find it easier to let go.

I do after using this visualization. Sometimes it sticks with me for a few days. As soon as I start to embroil myself in an old story, I remember to reconnect with the energy of the Divine Mother, relax, and smile.

I’ll probably get stuck in resentment or worry once again. But my ability to surrender, let go, and trust is beginning to grow.

I hope you’ll try this visualization, in whatever form works for you. Surrender you concerns, and see if you feel more at peace.

Do you find it hard to let go? What helps you to let go?

Originally published on alwayswellwithin.com