How To Support A Loved One With Diabetes

Diabetes can be a lonely disease. Most of the time, the people around you can’t tell how well you’re coping with it. In fact, they may not even notice — unless, of course, you’ve been unusually cranky that week. However, you know. You know if you’ve been skipping your daily blood glucose readings. You’re aware when you’ve snarfed a bag of chips or sneaked in a secret ice cream cone. Yet, keeping consistent and on track can be a lonely and daunting task. What you desperately need are people who will traverse this path with you.

The Simple Things

So, if you have a loved one who has diabetes, I’d like to give you some simple insights into how you can support that person.

First of all, don’t forget that habits are hard to break. You probably know this from your own life. Eating habits are no different. Just because a doctor says you have diabetes doesn’t automatically mean you can instantly drop all your bad eating habits. We spend decades forming our relationships with food. It will take time for your loved one to figure out a more healthy eating pattern. What he needs are your insights and understanding. And he’s not going to get it right the first time. Or probably the tenth time. Or the hundredth. It’s a long process to change the way you think about food and then do something about it consistently.

Shaming Doesn’t Work

Your encouraging words speak so much louder than shame. When a person screws up and does something they shouldn’t (like eating a late-night chocolate cookie), they know it. They already have enough shame knowing they were weak and gave in to a craving. What they need from you is encouragement. Now you may be thinking, what am I supposed to encourage them about? They messed up. Should I say something like, “Way to go, big guy! You really blew it. That’s the way to go big or go home.” No, don’t. Not at all helpful. (Ah, I can already hear the sarcasm blasting through the screen.) Maybe you could try something more like, “Hey, you’ve got this. I know you can do it. We all have minor setbacks, but I believe in you. You matter to me.”

Never Stop Telling Them

Never stop telling them how important they are to you. Let them know they are a vital part of your life, and you want them to be around for years to come. Sit down and really open up about how much you cherish them. If it’s your father, then talk about the future. Remind him that you hope to have kids one day, and he will be a fantastic grandparent. Paint a picture of the two of you having different adventures throughout the years. Again, this isn’t to shame him, but instead to help him remember that he’s not just making decisions that impact himself but that impact you and others in the family circle.

Join In The Journey

If you want to be supportive, then adopt a diabetic lifestyle. Make a declaration that you’re going to start eating healthy and cutting out anything that wouldn’t be healthy for your loved one. This was probably the sole most important thing my family did for me. My fourteen-year-old son had become a vegan and had been consistent for over a year before my diagnosis. My wife and I told him we’d go vegan for thirty days, and because of that experiment, we’ve been vegans for over six years. Having a household of people eating a healthy diet full of fruits and vegetables has been an enormous advantage.

Another way you can support a more healthy diabetic lifestyle is to start exercising with this person you care about. Exercise can help burn off calories and lower the amount of sugar in the blood. In addition, a consistent workout is often easier to achieve with a workout buddy. Other considerations are meditation, sleep, fasting, and creativity. These are all important factors in living a full, healthy life with diabetes.

A Safe Place

I Need To Tell You Something

As the saying goes, “Confession is good for the soul,” and sometimes your loved one needs someone to share their success, failure, or relapse. Being a good listener requires patience and the ability to stifle your need to give advice. You need to provide a safe place to open up and talk. The key here is for them to speak and for you not to judge, even if you’re frustrated by the repeated failures.

Together

In the end, the thing your loved one needs most is you. So be there for this person with kind words, encouragement, a listening ear, and the courage to journey this path together. Try not to see it as a disease he or she is must overcome alone. Instead, adopt a mindset that says, “We’re fighting this disease as a team. We’re going to overcome the challenge together!’