avatarMorgan Rock Loehr

Summary

The website content is a satirical take on the concept of success, emphasizing its pervasive cultural obsession and the often humorous and contradictory advice given on how to achieve it.

Abstract

The article titled "How To Success Your Success Into Succeeding Successfully" humorously addresses society's fixation on success, poking fun at the lengths people go to achieve and define it. It suggests that success is everywhere in nature and life, attributing it to divine creation, and posits that the key to success is to continuously read about it. The author playfully mocks the idea of a secret to success, instead advocating for creativity and the act of writing about success as means to attain it. The text satirizes the overuse of the word 'success' and the difficulty of defining it, while also critiquing the commercialization of success through seminars, books, and newsletters.

Opinions

  • Success is humorously portrayed as an omnipresent and desirable entity, akin to a deity's blessing or a natural phenomenon.
  • The article mocks the idea of a secret formula for success, instead suggesting that constant engagement with the concept of success is the true path to achieving it.
  • The author satirizes the commercial success industry, implying that those who sell the idea of success are often the ones benefiting the most from it.
  • There is a critique of the oversimplification of success, with the author suggesting that the complexity of the concept cannot be captured by a single word or definition.
  • The text playfully suggests that successful people are inherently creative, using Pablo Picasso as an example, and implies that adopting creative pursuits could lead to success.
  • The author uses humor to highlight the absurdity of the success-obsessed culture, including the idea that success can be quantified or easily taught through seminars and books.
  • The satirical nature of the article is evident in its suggestion that success can only be achieved, not defined or spelled correctly, and in its creation of the term "sucsex."
Nature is super successful.

How To Success Your Success Into Succeeding Successfully

Success! SUCCESS!!! SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you want some? Of course you do. You’re not a Bolshevik. You love success. You want it bad. So bad.

Success is all around us. It’s in the birds, the trees, the air and the water. You know how I know? Because God made those things and God is the ultimate success story! He only worked 7 days and he’s been on vacation ever since! That’s SuCcEsS!!!!!!!

On the eighth day, God said, “I just bought a speed boat and retired to Boca Raton with all my success”

People are always asking me questions about success. How much does success cost? How do you spell success? If success were a women, could you give it an orgasm? And, if you did, is that called “sucsex”? Yes. Yes to all of those successful questions. I sucsexed my whole life and now look at me, helping everyone else get their sucsex on.

Despite what you think, there’s no secret to success. I know because I know the secret to success. Always keep reading about success. Then, you will have success and be able to teach others how to get successfulnesses by writing successful articles on jacking into success.

Insert quote from Abraham Lincoln for pragmatic success, Albert Einstein for philosophical success, Vince Lombardi for sports success, Dale Carnegie for money success, or Mark Twain to show people you have a sense of humor about success.

Unfortunately, writing about success is hard. The problem being that there’s only one word to describe success — success. Every day I have to use my brain to write many words for only one word. It is hard. SUCCESS! Some days I rearrange the letters to “cecussss”. That’s because I’m creative. Successful people are creative people. Painters are creative. Pablo Picasso was a painter. Pablo Picasso was successful. Become a painter.

Let me tell you one other successful thing right now. If you’re looking in the dictionary for the word success, STOP. Success can’t be defined. In fact, success can’t even be spelled. It can only be achieved.

Success can’t even be spelled. It can only be achieved©

Now, this all might sound like a bunch of mumbo jumbo, but it’s not. Trust me. Success. Money. Fame. Popularity. Sex. Votes. Likes. Hearts. Immortality. Still not convinced? Here’s a picture of a guy named Guy with a pile of money. Success, baby.

This guy eats success for breakfast

Are you still not successful? Hmm… that’s strange. OH WAIT! No it’s not. That’s because you haven’t signed up for my newsletter or attended my digital success seminar or donated to my Kickstarter to bring success to impoverished nations. After Africa reads my success manifesto, they will have so much successfulness and so can you.

Remember, you can’t put a price on success. Don’t forget to buy my success book for $19.95.

Start your success by improving my success and like this article. #SUCCESS #SUCCESSFULLNESS #SUCCESSFUL #SUCCESSFULLFULLFULL #SUCSEX

Satire
Life Lessons
Self Improvement
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