How to Succeed at (Almost) Everything
Think I can, I will, and I shall
Let’s get one thing straight right away. Obviously, one cannot succeed at everything. If an average person wanted to be a brain surgeon, that might be setting the bar a bit too high. If a thirty-something woman wanted to be a prima ballerina, there wouldn’t be much chance of that happening. If a fifty-something man wanted to be a jet fighter pilot, he would be setting himself up for disappointment. So, it’s important that expectations be kept realistically.
Every day life throws challenges at us, and if it doesn’t, we challenge ourselves. Women want to lose weight, men want to look more buff, an aspiring writer dreams of writing a bestseller, an athlete sees himself as a gold medallist.
Most of the things we challenge ourselves with are never achieved because we don’t have realistic expectations or somewhere along the line we get discouraged and give up. We give up because we expect too much, too soon.
When overweight women don’t see a dramatic change in numbers when they step on their scales, they shrug and wonder why they are punishing themselves this way, and reach for comfort food. When men, despite their best efforts don’t start to look like Greek gods, they turn away from the mirror and have a drink. When writers struggle to finish a chapter, never mind a full novel, they allow dust to settle on their manuscript. And when someone involved in a particular sport doesn’t see progress quickly enough, he/she throws in the towel.
Progress and results are two dangerous words that raise expectations and lead to disappointment.
One of my friends recently took up ice skating. When she first put on her blades, she had no expectations whatsoever, she knew it would be an uphill battle and it would take time for her to master balancing and moving on a thin blade. Still, every day she strapped on her boots and practiced on a local pond.
Despite knowing that this wasn’t going to be easy, she did get discouraged. She’d been at for a month now and although there was an improvement, there wasn’t much of it. She started to wonder — shouldn’t she be better at it by now?
When we met, I didn’t say that she had to give it time, because she already knew that. Neither did I say that she shouldn’t expect too much, because she knew that too. Instead, I said “Progress is not a ladder, it’s a staircase. Have you ever seen a staircase in a high rise? A staircase has five, seven, or ten steps and then a plateau, then another five, seven, or ten steps and another plateau, then more steps with another plateau, and another and another. That’s how you should see progress. If you keep practicing, you’ll continue to climb steps. With each day, with each step, you’re going to get a little better, until you reach a plateau. If you continue to practice, you’ll continue to get better, until you reach the next plateau. And so on, and so on. You understand?”
She understood it perfectly. Since she first started ice skating she had gotten better, and now I had reached a plateau. She could throw in the towel and give up or she could continue to practice until she reached the next plateau.
My friend’s case is hardly unique. People, in general, expect too much too soon. Writers, painters, cooks, athletes, people who want to lose weight, or who in general set out to challenge themselves expect far too much and when they don’t see results quickly, they give up.
If progress and results and two dangerous words, comparing yourself to others is equally dangerous. Every day we come across people who are better at things than we are. Some women might be in awe of other women who whip up a five-course dinner party without breaking a sweat while they struggle to cook an omelet. Some men might wonder how their neighbor manages to tackle every home repair job, while they nearly got electrocuted when they replaced a fuse or caused a flood when they tried to fix a leaky faucet.
The secret to succeeding at almost everything can be summed up as follows.
Have realistic expectations. The more challenging the goal the harder it will be to succeed.
Know yourself. Do you easily give up or do you persevere? If you’re the former you have your work cut out for you. If you’re the latter, you have every chance of completing what you set out to do.
What is your motivation? Do you want to do, whatever it is you want to do for yourself or for others? If you merely want to impress others, chances are you won’t see it through.
Time and timing. The time that you start your project is rather important. If you want to start a diet, the Christmas period or your summer holiday is probably not the best time to do it. Everyone knows that people indulge in all kinds of delightful treats during that time of the year and saying no is extremely difficult.
Level of difficulty. If you plan to write a short story, a few days should suffice. If on the other hand, you plan to write a novel, give yourself a few months, if not a whole year.
The same applies should you want to master a sport. Learning how to swim shouldn’t prove too difficult, but should you want to learn how to ice skate, unless you are fearless and have superb balance, prepare to struggle for a while.
In principle, you can succeed in almost everything. Whether you do so or not will largely depend on your age, your abilities, your patience, and your determination.
Whatever it is, it’s worth giving it a shot. If not you might forever wonder … could I have?
