How To Succeed As The Tortoise With Your Self Improvement

Everybody wants a quick fix

I know it’s the way society rolls. What if you were to take it slow and be successful? No guilt from anyone. Would you care to try?

One of the concerns I had when I decided to improve myself was to be a success. I wanted to change my life right away. I figured in six months I could change everything.

My zero to sixty secret, is in incremental steps. Move too fast and you slow right down.~ Elle How

I wanted to be more productive, happier and free of all things detrimental to my well-being. I was in a rush. When I began more than one goal at a time, I slipped further down the rabbit hole.

I would quit drinking and smoking, together. I could handle it. For about three days. Then whoosh, throwing a cigarette between my lips, I’d crack open a bottle of wine, with a promise that I’d begin again. Tomorrow, or at least next week.

It wasn’t until I decided to try one goal at a time that I found success. I quit drinking. I also decided not to tell my then partner. I went about 3 days before he noticed I’d stopped. His first question was, “Are you gonna find religion, next?” (Beautiful support there, Buddy.) Not a real stellar guy. For someone else, but not me. It was an arduous relationship for more reasons than I’d care to mention.

That was a huge wake-up call for me. He was my enabler. He wanted me to stay right where I was. As long as I drank and lived my life that way, I would never see my potential. That statement by him solidified my goal. I never looked back. I realized my power for the first time in my life. I can say that the most awesome reward I’ve ever had is to have control over my life.

One goal at a time

One goal at a time works because more than one is too stressful. If I quit two I knew I’d falter. I’d done that time and again. I chose to stop drinking because I would be sober. I could smoke with coffee. I could smoke and drive. I had control over my actions.

The bonus was that I could see my life with more clarity. I thought in a more rational way. The bottle was my crutch. To change my life I had to see what I didn’t like. Only I could change things.

My successes

Two years later in 2009, I moved out to live on my own. A scary time, but each day was easier.

I spent a lot of time healing and learning to do things for myself. I travelled far away and tried tons of different activities.

By 2011, I’d purchased an H3. That’s a Hummer. Most people thought I was crazy, but why did I care? It was my life to live and I’d wanted one before… so I bought one! ( I gave it to my daughter when I moved in with my new beau, in 2017.)

In 2012, I purchased my own house, with a pool.

In 2014, at the end of December, I quit smoking. I used products to help me. I also, began to workout steadier.

I began my relationship with my new partner in 2015. I also changed my coffee from triple cream and triple sugar to black!

It’s been quite the ride. I only change one thing at a time. I tweak as I go along.

Keep it to yourself, they’ll find out soon enough

I don’t tell others that I’m going to change, because I can’t stand listening to the ”Doubting Thomas’s”. If they don’t know, they can’t say anything. I’ve found by the time they notice you’ve already got past the most crucial three days. And if they don’t like it, it’s usually because they think you’re no longer going to be with them. That in fact might be true, but if you want to live a better life, you can. I’m not telling you what you should do, but why slower is better.

I’ll take my coffee black, but you don’t have to

I’ve quit drinking, smoking and reduced my sugar intake. It’s a journey I began in 2007. Now I am changing my health strategy.

I have never been completely fit. I do a lot of stuff outdoors, but I love to eat the dreaded processed food. Whatever they put in it is great comfort food. Even knowing that food isn’t good for you doesn’t make me love it any less. I have always wanted a hot body. I also promised myself that if I ever had the time to workout that hard, I would.

Now, I have been on the exercise mill many times before. I exercise and then three weeks in I figure I’ve earned a cheat day. Or others bring me temptations that I indulge in after I’ve started to make progress. It’s because they’re enablers. I am an enablee, I let them do that to me. They do it because they don’t want me to change. I allow them to do it. I put the responsibility on them, but I should take responsibility for my actions.

And still I change

There are the others who will tell me to be realistic about what I can achieve. Yet still others will remind me how I’ve often fallen short of my goal. I’ve decided that this is my opportunity to stop the BS and go for my goal. I’m here to encourage myself to feel the love for me.

If I can help you see how you can move towards your own goals, in a more efficient way, I’m more than happy to do so.

You could’ve slipped today but tomorrow you can start up again. Each decision and move you make will make a difference. No matter how incremental, it has to start with you.

These are the best pieces of advice I can ever give you on your journey

1. One goal at a time

Only choose one life-altering goal at a time. I found that if I quit drinking and smoking at the same time, I failed. So only choose one. It may be a while before you can take on the other goals, but that’s okay.

2. Do it for yourself

If you do it for anyone else, you run the risk of the blame game if you slip up. It’s hard enough to change, when you have others that want to keep you locked into those habits for their reasons. I found that when I quit drinking those close to me asked me if I was going to find religion next. I never apologize for where my goal would lead to. My goal allowed me to look at how I was leading my life. I was not doing well. It allowed me to make the changes that brought me to the person I am today. Not perfect but much happier than I was before I began this journey.

3. Make a commitment to yourself

When I chose one goal for me, a lot of things happened. First I committed my journey to myself. This allowed me to go from drinking massive amounts of alcohol and a 28-year smoking habit to a non-smoker. I do have the very odd drink. My drink of choice was wine. I no longer drink wine. Some people use these addictions as crutches to coverup a life they don’t want to see. Some addictions are ongoing and you can never try things again without sinking back down. You need to follow whatever you know works for you. Don’t make these decisions based on what I do.

4. Don’t rush

There’s no rush. Every day I move away from relinquishing my control to my addictions is a better day for me. This process began in 2007. I didn’t quit smoking until 2014. Then I began my fitness quest. It’s only now 14 years later that I’m taking control over my choice of food.

It’s not a race, when you’re changing your habits. I’m proud of who I’ve become on this very long journey. I knew for a long time before I began that I wanted to change my life. It took courage and support from myself and some pretty special people to get started. They never condemned me or discussed it with me. They were my friends and if I wanted to do something they’d encourage me. I am so lucky to be where I am and if you want to use me as an example, feel free. Do it for the love of yourself, and your children. You may not do it today. It the start of a flame licking at your soul saying you got this. No matter what you do it needs to be for you. It could start with a letter you write to yourself. To heal any sorrows or bad stuff that’s happened to you. You could write a letter of forgiveness for whatever you need to make amends for. No one has to see it. You can bury it. You can burn it. Thinking this way can get you moving to where you want to be.

I know I hated the story “I Think I Can” because I never thought I could. I did and I am going my way to a life I love to live.

I’m going to end with the quote that helped me along my way.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” — William Hutchinson Murray

You can change if you want to. If you do, you’ll find so much to help you in your journey. Sometimes you don’t see it until later. When you look at where you began and where you are now.

It’s been 14 years, and I’m still making changes.

Thank you for reading.