How to Stop Your Inner Critic and Manifest What You Want
By choosing your inner defender’s voice
My journey as a writer is different from yours, and mine is different from the successful ones, which tell how they made, x amount of money in x number of days.
It can be frustrating to read their success stories when you can’t even find your readers, your audience.
Then self-doubt becomes more pronounced as months gone by and your most successful story yet earned you a very modest $50. That $50 is proof that I can make money from writing, and I am going for it.
It is better to keep on doing what you love doing and abandon your dreams because you feel you have to compromise with what makes you happy. As for me, that’s writing.
But, I don’t only need to put in the hours, the hard work, and everything to make myself a successful writer.
Before it manifests, I must know what I want. I must be clear with my goals and definition of success.
My measure of success is personal, and here you must clearly define what is yours. I want to hear what’s on your list. Please leave me a message so we can talk more about it.
My Success List
- $100,000 money made from writing.
- To publish a children’s book.
- A community of readers who will not only appreciate what I write but learn something from it.
Now that I know what I want, I don’t know how but I leave it to the Universe to make it happen, and I trust in God or, as others would like to call him, the Divine Power.
Now that I am going after success, we need to talk about the voices in our heads, and now is the time to keep one of those voices in check.
Your inner critic is not the only voice in your head
It’s essential to listen to all of your inner voices. Some are valid, and some aren’t, so we need to listen to our inner voices and work out which ones are genuinely helpful and which ones are not.
This could be through-and-through behavior change, but it can be internal communication too.
If we find that one particular voice is trying to convince us to do something negative, we can work out the logic why and try to give our inner voice what it wants in that instance. As with anything else, this is difficult.
The big difference between an inner critic and an inner defender
An inner critic is someone who criticizes you. An inner defender is someone who defends you.
The inner critic criticizes you for not being perfect. The inner defender defends you for every mistake you make. The inner critic criticizes you for not being good enough. The inner defender defends you for being better than you think you are.
An internal struggle occurs; the internal rejection feels the difference between what you’ve done the previous day and your current effort. It’s been a long day at work. You aren’t quite making the grade on that new presentation. You always seem to have something wrong with you. Your new hair-do is not “perfect,” mom says.
An inner rejection won’t brush it off just because it happened yesterday. An outer rejection will let you know.
An internal critic is someone who criticizes you for reasons that you aren’t able to control.
An internal defendant is someone who tries to protect you from criticism that you are incapable of handling.
Never mind your lurking alcoholic aunt from your childhood who secretly thought she was too good for you.
How to use your inner defender to counter your inner critic
The first step is to recognize that there are two voices in our heads.
There’s the inner critic that’s always wanting to criticize and undermine every decision you make. And there’s the inner defender that’s always going to come to your defense and tell you you’re doing a great job.
If you’re ever in the middle of a big decision and the inner voices go crazy with opinions, you couldn’t possibly share — it’s time to take a break.
Take some deep breaths, re-center your focus and ask yourself, “Am I making the right decision here?”
A short break like this is essential in allowing the inner voice to ramble off its mushy thoughts and will enable you to confidently walk forward.
When it comes to decision-making, there’s a part of the brain that’s highly reactive to uncertainty, whereas another area of the brain is highly analytical. When the reactive brain thinks it has too many options and options are unrealistic, the analytical brain is looking for the best action course. You need to differentiate the two to see when to use which part of the brain.
Research has shown that one way of carrying out this function is to mistake your gut feeling for objective truth. When starting a big decision, it’s best to use the brain’s analytical side because your gut feeling will fuel any bad choices you make.
Your digging for deeper meanings and a deeper meaning for things can be a real asset when trying to decide. Complicating a complex puzzle for yourself, while tempting at the moment, will ultimately increase your risk of making a wrong decision by giving you more information and context — this is especially true when dealing with sensitive matters.
Instead, pick one or two options to follow and make informed decisions. It’s better to let your gut feelings guide you on what’s the best course of action rather than having your head somewhere in the clouds.
If you’re trying to think positively about yourself, it can be hard when the voice of negativity is right there in your head telling you you’re useless or not good enough. It’s better to let your gut feelings guide you on what’s the best course of action rather than having your head somewhere in the clouds.
Don’t let it stop you from doing what makes you happy — instead, get to know this exceptional friend who’ll help guide you toward being a better version of yourself, your inner defender.
Because before, my dreams can manifest, and for me, that is to become a successful writer. I have to go in as a unified team. While there is a time for my inner critic, the inner voices are not the time for me to hear that voice in my head.
I want my success to manifest. I don’t know how, but silencing my inner critic will help make it happen.
