Personal Growth | Self Awareness | Mindfulness
How To Stop Worrying About Your Past
Most of us have no idea of how to stop worrying about our past, but where there’s a will, there’s a way.
It is quite easy for someone to be trapped in their past — in an old memory or a past moment — achievement or a loss. Sometimes we try to recapture the most amazing moments from our past, or we keep regretting our worst memories. We try to recreate those memories inside our minds, but with a better outcome.
If it is a negative memory, we regret that. If it is positive, we try to enjoy that moment, dwelling in those memories repeatedly.
It is okay to recall things you did wrong and learn from your past. Enjoying a good moment from your past is also good. But there is an issue with that. When we dream away into those memories, we miss the most important thing— this moment.
Even though people see those good and bad pasts as two different things with two different outcomes, both lead to the same state of mind in the end.
If you are trapped in a happy memory, that implies you are not satisfied where you are now. You are comparing your current self with your past self. Then you end up searching for reasons and trap in a sad memory loop where everything is negative. If you are trapped in a sad memory, you end up blaming your past self for letting you down.
These memory loops draw your energy. In the end, you end up being stressed. You no longer have the energy to keep working.
If this is you, this article is for you. I am not going to tell you a formula. It is totally up to you to decide whether you trap in your past or you try your best to train yourself to start living in the present. I will tell you about the mindset you should have.
“What has happened has already happened. There’s no way of undoing it. The only thing you can do is taking those as lessons and trying not to make the same mistakes again.”
The solution is simple, like that. Sounds very simple, right?. But most of us don’t have a crystal clear mindset to achieve this state of mind.
We are often stuck to questions like,
- “I would have done…”(Recreating the memory)
- “Why can’t I be happy like in those days…”(Comparing yourself)
- “Why was he/she so stupid…”(Blaming someone)
- “… I would have been”(Regretting)
These nonstop questions don’t take you any further. This is a loop.
No matter how much you are worried about your past, no matter what you did in the past; still, there’s no possible way to change your history. Thinking about your past doesn’t have a history-changing effect.
You didn’t have your current thought pattern at that time. So you took the best possible decision you felt comfortable with. You should accept your past and move on.
“Stop worrying about your past. It doesn’t matter anymore. Your present will be your past in a few minutes. Do your best for this ‘changeable past’ rather than that ‘unchangeable past.’ “
If you are not satisfied with your current situation, doing your best at this moment is the only way of becoming better. Then your future self won’t have to worry about your past. You can get rid of those questions simply by saying to yourself, “I have done my best.” You are honest — you did your best.
When you stop criticizing yourself or someone else for your past, you begin to accept it— that’s the moment you start learning from your past.
Now, Let me tell you my method to achieve this state of mind and accept my past.
This method is all about Mindfulness. In Buddhism, we are thought to control our thoughts with a meditation called ‘mindful meditation.’ We look at our rising thoughts and stop engaging in those thoughts letting them go away. We do this as long as we can.
Using the same principle — whenever I start thinking about my past unconsciously and start worrying, I take control of my mind and tell myself, “Stop right there! That is past. I can’t change that. I will not make those mistakes again because I learned from them. There’s no success without failure. I learned my lesson, and now I’m doing my best”.
I remember a quote I was using to stay positive whenever I start worrying about my past.
“There’s nothing called failure. Either you succeed or you learn”
