How To Stop The Painful Comparison Perfection Cycle

It’s important to celebrate where you are and keep going

Focus on progress, not perfection- Bill Phillips

When I first heard that quote, I was like, “YES!”

I do not think I am off base saying that the majority of us strive for perfection, but being labeled a perfectionist isn’t a compliment.

What a vicious circle.

Since starting in the entrepreneurial space over ten years ago, I have found this concept to be quite fascinating.

Even last year, when I started on IG, I would compare myself against others that had been doing it longer, but luckily, it didn’t hold me back. I was comparing so I could learn and improve. You can see that in my posts as I have kept those old posts where the photo is dark, doesn’t fill the space, doesn’t have hashtags, doesn’t have a location, the font is hard to read, etc. I worked on improving those things over time. Most importantly, I started.

Recently I have come across more people that wish to collaborate, but their expectation is perfection. They are receiving this perfection training from experts in the field for ten years. And what is failing to happen is the experts are not teaching all the mistakes they made in their journey.

There is a very popular podcaster who delivers a spot-on perfect podcast from a small space in their home. This person preaches authenticity, but the podcast is perfect. It’s OK that it’s perfect, my point is there is no way it’s not scripted, practiced, and or edited. And there isn’t anything wrong with that either, but most people do not do the math to realize this. These people then compare themselves and often feeling disappointed or discouraged that they cannot measure up.

The premise of what I coach is to believe in yourself and take action. Not be perfect and take action.

Getting better comes with doing the reps, the practice.

And if a podcast host thinks their podcast is perfect, it may be to take a step back and realize someone is still judging them on something. It could be their presentation style, the questions they ask, the way they speak, their energy level, their guests, or topic choice. There are so many factors that can still result in judgment.

I’ll admit, my podcast isn’t perfect. I hope that I have gotten better over time, but it’s not perfect. And I doubt it will ever be.

Does anyone think their content is perfect? If you go back and review your work after you submit and are not critical, you are not learning and growing.

I recall my first podcast guest. She is a very talented spiritual hypnotherapist who can channel and clear people of intense challenges. She didn’t have a mic or a fancy computer, so we conducted the interview through our phones. I recorded from my phone into garage band on our Mac. It’s not perfect sound quality, but the content is there, and hopefully, someone hearing her will contact her if they need her help. The message of what she stands for and the value she adds is apparent. If I were a perfectionist, I would not have aired the interview and that amazing content would not be shared.

Another person I have followed for years also preaches the importance of perfection, but doesn’t share a lot of their journey. Their journey was likely filled with bumps, and imperfections that have molded them over time. Because I have followed this person for so long, I have heard some nuggets here and there, but it is sad that the learnings are rarely intentionally shared. I have noticed that people who are new to the space and follow this person develop very high unfair expectations of themselves as a result.

What are some possible results of trying to be perfect?

· You may experience intense pressure and or anxiety related to not measuring up.

· You may waste time comparing yourself to others instead of taking action.

· You pass these high expectations along to others via coaching, parenting, or teaching.

· You may put unfair expectations on others that can damage your relationships.

· You may waste time justifying not taking action.

Justification is a very relevant word in regard to perfection. You can spend time justifying why you didn’t start by putting the blame on perfection. That scenario is very relatable to a lot of people, whether they admit it or not.

So how do we stop the cycle?

When listening to others, take a step back and realize they started somewhere too. And they may not be being fully transparent as to their journey as they wish to establish themselves as an expert. A lot of people have built businesses on being an expert, so they don’t reveal all their mistakes.

Take a moment to think of how far you have come and celebrate that. Keep those wins in a personal bucket so you can pull them out when you need a reminder. When I started on IG, I know I wasn’t perfect by a long shot, but I was happy I started. I watched how others did things, tried it as well as took a course to learn to get better.

It’s essential to realize that most people will not notice all that you see. Truth. A lot of people struggle with body image and aim to have perfect photos on social media. I have struggled with that as well. I cannot count how many times I have mentioned that I hate my fat upper arms and people tell me they never noticed. Some may be lying to be kind, but some may not be. I don’t know for sure who is saying what, but some may be telling the truth. The idea is, you don’t know and don’t worry about it so much.

Value the relationship and the knowledge over the tools. Sometimes I read an eBook, and it’s not the fanciest layout or graphics, but the information is incredible. Another coach in the online space who makes millions every time she launches a course uses videos taken with her phone. Some of the videos in her course are older and simple but the content is gold. I could care less that it’s recorded on a fancy microphone in a studio. Her words and results are what matters.

A while back, I heard a tip from Jay Shetty, who is a very popular motivational and inspirational coach on YouTube. He built his audience over many years on YouTube and by writing for publications such The Huffington Post. He mentioned on a podcast that if he feels his content in 80 percent good, he publishes. He knows he can always work on improving the 20 percent for next time.

Life is a journey, and it’s the progress along the way that makes up who we are along with the stories we share to celebrate ourselves and help others. If everything was always perfect, wouldn’t life be boring?

So, don’t worry so much about perfection. Just keep moving forward.

Believe you are good enough and take that step.

Have no fear of perfection, you will never reach it- Salvador Dali