How To Stop Feeling Like a Fraud

CBT techniques to stop the imposter phenomenon

I’m a clinical psychologist, but while I was in graduate school, I was a fraud.

I was a phony.

I didn’t think that I belonged in graduate school, especially a doctorate program. I told myself that it was because of luck. It was because the school relaxed its admission requirements that year. It was because of everything except my own effort that I got into graduate school. Throughout the years of school, I had this insane fear that somebody in the administration was going to figure out that I didn’t belong there sooner or later.

After four years of feeling like an imposter in graduate school, it came time to apply for an internship. When I did not get the internship of my choice, I called one of the internship directors who had rejected me and asked for his feedback. It was this conversation that changed my future.

He explained that I came across in the interview as someone with self-doubt and who lacked assertiveness. This made me realize that my thoughts and fears of being a fraud had translated into my body language. He psychoanalyzed me. I was not only thinking that I was a phony and feeling anxious and fearful, but I was also acting timid and insecure because of the thought that I was a fraud.

Determined to not be a failure, and to prove to myself I wasn’t a fraud, I researched what it was that I was experiencing. All my fears and anxiety boiled down to the imposter phenomenon—also called the imposter syndrome.

The imposter phenomenon is when an individual feels inadequate despite having had lots of success and accomplishments. This individual is typically aware of their success, but they may feel like they didn’t deserve it. They may feel fearful or anxious that someone will find out that they didn’t deserve all their success and accomplishments.

The imposter phenomenon was first studied in psychology in 1978. Men and women may experience feeling like a phony. Feeling like an imposter especially occurs among graduates and working professionals, and especially on their first day on the job.

Imposter phenomenon is not a mental health disorder. However, people who experience this phenomenon can also experience symptoms of anxiety and depression if they perpetually feel like a fraud. Feeling like a fraud can cause a person to feel so anxious and depressed that it could begin to interfere with their daily routines and relationships.

Realizing that I was experiencing the imposter syndrome and knowing that it was now interfering with my future, I researched ways to combat these thoughts and feelings. This was when I had an “ah-ha” moment. I decided to use my education and training in therapy to help myself stop feeling like an imposter.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that helps people learn how their thoughts impact their feelings and behaviors. Essentially, people learn to reframe their thinking so that they can feel better.

The practice of stopping to recognize your thoughts, especially negative thoughts, takes time. This requires you to be thinking of your thoughts and purposefully replacing your negative thoughts with more helpful thoughts. It may seem silly that by simply changing your thoughts you can feel better, but in actuality, you are training your brain to think differently so that you can feel better.

In my case, I had self-defeating thoughts of being a fraud that resulted in me feeling anxious and inadequate at times. My thoughts and feelings negatively impacted my behaviors because I was becoming timid and insecure around others. Nobody wants an insecure therapist helping them through their darkest and most difficult experience.

Below, I break down the steps of how I applied the basic techniques of CBT to combat the imposter phenomenon. As you read each step, I encourage you to write down your responses. I’ll share examples of my own.

1. Identify the thoughts you’re telling yourself when you begin to think you’re a fraud.

What exact statements are running through your head as you begin to think that you are an imposter?

“I’m lucky to have been accepted into graduate school.”

“I’m not smart enough to have been accepted into the doctorate program.”

“Somebody at the school is going to find out that I shouldn’t have made it past the first year of graduate school.”

“Everyone is going to find out that I’m not smart.”

2. Evaluate the factual accuracy of your thoughts.

Look for the evidence to support and contradict your thoughts. Some examples:

“I met all the qualifications to make it into graduate school.”

“While in graduate school, I did not receive a failing grade.”

“There is an admission process to get into graduate school and I made the cut.”

3. Identify the worst possible outcomes.

What happens if these thoughts are true?

“I could drop out of school and have a student loan debt.”

“Everyone will make fun of me when they find out that I’m not smart.”

4. Assess how realistic the worst possible outcomes could be.

“I’m doing well on my assignments and passing each class so I don’t think I’m going to drop out of school.”

“It’s possible but unlikely that someone will make fun of me in graduate school for asking questions in class.”

“It’s possible that other people may be having the same questions as me.”

5. Identify the purpose or function of continuing to tell yourself those thoughts.

“Telling myself that I was lucky and not smart enough to get into graduate school is only putting myself down and hindering me from my goals.”

“I’m only hindering myself by thinking that I’m an imposter.”

6. What would be the outcome if you changed your thoughts?

“I would have more confidence and appreciate myself more for my accomplishments. If I had more confidence in myself, then I wouldn’t be so timid.”

7. What advice would you give to your friend if they felt like an imposter?

“I would tell my friend that she was being hard on herself. I would tell her that she worked really hard to get to where she was and that it was not all luck. I would tell her that she was being really hard on herself and to give herself more credit.”

8. Write down what you want to tell yourself when you catch yourself thinking that you are an imposter.

“I am qualified. I met all the qualifications to make it into graduate school.”

“I’m doing well in school because I’m getting good grades.”

“Though at times I may doubt myself, this is normal and I know more than I give myself credit for.”

“It’s okay to not know everything because no one knows everything.”

Doing these steps takes time and a real reflection on your thoughts and feelings. In the beginning, it may seem superficial and forceful, but with practice, you should start to notice small differences in your feelings and behaviors.

By recognizing my self-defeating thoughts and replacing them with more positive statements, several months later I was able to reduce the feeling of being an imposter and began to feel more confident in myself. This resulted in me feeling more confident in my work and being assertive in how I carried myself around others.

I’m happy to say that I eventually got into an internship program and graduated with my Ph.D. I now feel like a competent psychologist who can be vulnerable and share my story to normalize the experience of the imposter phenomenon to help others overcome it.

Resources for Further Reading

• The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention by P.R. Clance and S. A. Imes in Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, and Practice.
• The Imposter Phenomenon in Higher Education: Incidence and Impact by A. Parkman in Journal of Higher Education Theory and Practice.
• What Imposters Risk at Work: Exploring Imposter Phenomenon, Stress Coping, and Job Outcomes by H.M Hutchins, L.M. Penney, and L.W. Sublett in Human Resource Development Quarterly.
• I Feel like a Fraud and it Depresses Me: The Relation Between the Imposter Phenomenon and Depression by L.N. McGregor, D.E. Gee, and K.E. Posey in Social Behavior and Personality: An International Journal.
• Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond by J.S. Beck.