How To Stay Spiritual When Life Doesn’t Suck

It can be quite a challenge…

Recently, the wonderful Wendi Lady wrote a Medium article entitled “How To Stay Spiritual When Life Sucks” (linked at the bottom of this article, after you clap). The article has solid advice for maintaining a spiritual perspective in the midst of stresses.

It’s a common theme in spiritual writing, and indeed it’s true that stressful times can lead us to abandon our higher aspirations as we slide down Maslow’s Pyramid and into survival mode. In addition to our many personal crises, the pandemic and many other global phenomena have made this a pressing issue. In tougher times, it’s tempting to blame God or Spirit or whatever, and say, in effect, “Hey! I’m one of the good ones, why are you sending all this shit to me?”

Yet I believe that it can go in the other direction, too. When life is good and things are going your way, the motivation for spiritual activity can decrease. After all, a certain amount of discomfort with mundane reality is one of the primary reasons for undertaking spiritual practice. Eastern spiritual traditions are constantly reminding us that we are living in a world of Maya, illusion, from which we need to free ourselves. Buddhists emphasize that old age, sickness, and death are inevitabilities in a Cosmos that is constantly forming and decaying. Don’t hang your hat on the material world, they warn.

Ah, but when the Maya looks good, it’s hard to remember the constant flux of being. The key component in virtually all spiritual practice is some kind of transcendence, and who wants to transcend good times? Yes, depression and stress can make it hard to sit on the meditation cushion, but so can the promise of a job promotion, a fun party, a loving relationship, good sex, good food, and maybe World Series tickets.

So, following Wendi’s lead, here are my tips for sticking with your practice in good times.

Remember: This Too Shall Pass

It works in bad times, it works in good times. Remind yourself of the transience of all phenomena, including your thoughts, emotions, material well-being, and even life itself. And it’s not only true for you, it’s true for everyone and everything you encounter.

You don’t need to dwell on it, and you don’t need to be a party-pooper. You don’t need to turn away from the good things in life and become an ascetic. You only need to remind yourself that the good times and bad follow each other. Take a look at the Wheel of Fortune card in Tarot.

“No plain not followed by a slope,” says the I Ching. “No going not followed by a return.”

With a little awareness of the temporariness of all things, it’s easier to stick with your practice. It’s kind of like banking your spiritual capital in good times so you’ll have it if (when) times change.

Keep Up Your Practice

Generally, in good times the challenge isn’t only to maintain motivation for spiritual practice, but to find the time for it. Work, relationship, and all kinds of things can seem so exciting that they draw you away from your practice. Even the twenty minutes that you might meditate each day seems like a lot when you could be writing emails, texting your new beau, or going out. Plus, even if you do engage in your practice, it’s likely that your internal (and possibly external) distractions will be higher than normal. You might feel that there’s no point in meditating or praying if all you’re really doing is thinking about something else.

That’s a trap that easily catches us, in good times or bad. The idea that there’s something more important to do is appealing to the ego, which is vulnerable each time you engage in any spiritual activity, since it’s the very thing you’re trying to transcend.

Again, a good strategy is to remind yourself that times are going to change, so it’s worthwhile to keep your practice going. You may not be entirely convinced, but ‘force’ yourself to maintain at least a minimum of practice.

Pair Back

Yes, it’s true that you may have to cut back a bit on whatever your practice is. When you’re in a down or even a normal period, you can probably find time for more elaborate practice routines and extended sessions, and that might not work if life is going really well and you’re busy with a lot of things.

The trick is to find the essential part of your practice and stick to it. Maybe you were meditating an hour each morning and afternoon, and you have to cut out one of those sessions or scale them back to a half hour. Perhaps you were attending religious services daily, and now you can only find time to attend weekly.

That stuff happens, and it’s okay as long as you know what you’re doing and stick to your decision. In other words, if you cut back meditation from an hour to a half hour, be sure that you do so with conscious intention, and then make sure that you do meditate for a half hour each day.

At the very least, this will help to form a bridge between the more extensive practice routines before and after the good times. I’ve pulled it off for years, which is too long, but which also shows that it works.

Realistically Assess What Changes Are Needed And Which Are Choices

To a large extent, we’re creatures of habit. When good times come around, we subtly shift our habits towards enjoyment and fulfillment. That’s fine when there are really great things calling us forward, but these events can extend themselves into our routines.

Maybe you have a great day out at the ballpark with friends — that’s wonderful. But then you get home from work the next evening and see that a game is on television, and rather than meditating you grab a beer and watch all nine innings. Baseball can be addictive (so can beer), and you have to consider at what point your identity goes from spiritual seeker to baseball fan.

Go with the good times, and explore new things, or return to old things you love. But do it mindfully.

Take Some Time Each Day For Reflection

Even if it’s only a few minutes in the morning or before bed, take a little time to remind yourself about your spiritual situation. Read a page or two of an inspiring book, or contemplate an image. Light a candle or do some other kind of ritual. It’s not important what you do, so much as that you take some time to perform some action that keeps you aware that you’re looking for something more than the good times.

Go On Retreat

Good times are often busy times, and going on a retreat may seem impractical or impossible, but you can probably carve out a little time to get away from it all. Even an overnight trip can do wonders.

During the pandemic, I would take one or two night trips to nowhere. The price was right, and hotels were empty (retreat centers and the like were all closed, but a sparsely populated hotel worked just fine). It’s amazing how a trip that lasts just a little over twenty four hours can really refresh you and give you perspective on good times — or bad.

Really Enjoy Yourself

Finally, the last bit of advice for keeping your spiritual practice going in good times is to enjoy yourself. Throw yourself into your work, romance, or whatever it is that is going so well. Practice deep appreciation for the good things in your life, and be mindful as you go through the experiences. Appreciation and mindfulness are skills that you can develop — and they’ll help you in good times and … well, you know.

Tough times can sap your spiritual energy, but paradoxically they can also provide motivation. Good times tend to be more distracting and can move you off your path. Still, I wouldn’t suggest you shun good times! Just be mindful of the changes you are experiencing.

Here’s the link to Wendi Lady’s article, How to Stay Spiritual When Life Sucks