A practical and definitive approach

How to stay calm when someone insults you.

6 Ways to sting out an Insult

It is a human tendency to be loved, admired, appreciated, and respected, but the world is full of rude, insensitive, mean, insulting and selfish people.

So, when we meet these people, we must know the technique of keeping our mind calm. Because they can be at our workplaces, in restaurants or our friends and families to spoil our mood.

Consequently, learning this art of staying calm during an insult is imperative. Sometimes, to save a relationship or perhaps a daytime job. Because with changing times, people are getting short-tempered and stressed and everyone is on the verge of emotional outbursts.

The major cause of an insult is a very subtle ego which we do not even know.

Instead of proving ourselves right, we try to prove the others wrong. This creates an insulting atmosphere.

If we look closely at it, most of the time, we are not deliberately insulting anyone. We always try to enforce our opinions and thoughts on others. As a result, the one at the receiving end feels offended and belittled.

Whenever we encounter rudeness or negativity, we blame the people around us or the situation for making us feel low. The common belief is that life is determined by people and the situations around us. But in reality, life is how we treat people and situations.

We can never change the mindset of others, so let us prepare ourselves to be calm when someone talks rudely or behaves erratically and irrationally.

1. Console oneself.

When people talk ill of us or become unjust in their behavior, they just say one sentence. Remember, they just say a word or a sentence.

For example, we meet someone at the party and they don’t like our dress. They tell us publicly that the dress does not suit us. That’s it.

Now, internally we start a conversation with ourselves,

“What do they think of themselves? How dare they talk to me like this in public? Can’t they tell me in private?

What fashion sense do they have? Can’t they see what they are wearing?”

This internal monologue goes on and on. So, we need to understand that they just spoke a line but internally we started a commentary. This internal discourse can last for hours, days, weeks and sometimes for years depending on the gravity of the situation.

As a result, whenever we meet those people, the whole dialogue and the past event pop up in the mind and our happiness is ruined each time even though they behave nicely afterward.

Hence, let us talk nicely with ourselves,

“It is Ok if they don’t like my dress. I purchased this dress because I like it. I can wear anything I like because it is my choice. It is just their point of view that they don’t like it and it is completely okay. Everyone is different and everyone has a different choice. I am not here in this world to please but enjoy my journey”.

A famous story comes to my mind in context to this point that I would like to share with you.

“If you had $86,400 in your bank and someone stole $10 would you spend all the rest of your money trying to get revenge?

The obvious answer is NO.

Exactly, so if someone puts 10 seconds of negativity in your life don’t spend the next 86,400 seconds of the day thinking about it.”

Moral of the story: Stay positive, keep smiling!

2. Stop justifying our Negative responses.

When someone behaves rudely with us, we tend to give back the same response.

In addition, we justify ourselves as, “Why wouldn’t I get mad over when I am treated unjustly?”, “Why would I not give a tit for tat?”

Whenever we justify our negative behavior, we are sending strong signals to our mind that happiness is not in my control. Because, if our happiness was in our control, we would have acted patiently.

There is no doubt that a beautiful compliment or praise makes us feel good, but Almighty says,

When we remain stable in times of joy and despair, we are in control of our happiness.

3. Always remember, “It is about them, not me”

When people don’t behave according to us, it tells their state of mind. We need to understand very carefully that people behave according to their thinking and doing habits, (their Sankaarsas). It has nothing to do with us whatsoever.

I.e. Suppose a boss has a habit of pinpointing everything. The receptionist places a bouquet of flowers on the desk. The flowers are beautiful, very exotic and very aromatic. But, because the boss has the habit of criticizing, he finds fault with flowers and reprimands the receptionist saying, “the flowers are too aromatic. The color of the flower is too dark. Even the size of the flower is too big.”

Now we have to decide, does it have anything to do with the flowers?

No, right?

Likewise, people may like or dislike, it is their choice.

We are the flowers and the boss can be anyone in our life who criticizes us.

When we master this technique, we would always be calm.

4. Contradict other’s rude behavior.

Whenever, faced with criticism, the best way to remain unaffected is to remind oneself of good qualities. Keep reminding the mind, “I am the child of the Supreme Soul, the ocean of peace, power, purity, bliss, love”.

This instills an elevated feeling in oneself as we are appreciating, loving and respecting our self internally while getting insulted externally.

Any feeling of disgrace is destructive if we accept it.

The moment we get affected, we let the other person win because we fell into their pit of negativity by getting frustrated and angry.

Hence, when someone insults us externally (verbally), appreciate ourselves internally.

5. Develop the power of letting Go:

Why do small kids fight and patch up the very next moment?

The reason is very simple. They are pure, spiritual, clean at heart that they are considered next to God. They don’t think less of them, nor do they think ill of others.

We can also be like those small innocent kids. But how?

When we practice meditation, we can feel the nearness to God. As a result, we feel powerful to forgive anyone for anything.

Meditation gives us the power to understand the other person’s state of mind and send them the right energy of love and acceptance by letting it go.

Forgiveness is not easy and not everyone can do it easily, but meditation is the strength that God bestows upon us to win the odds.

6. Never forget “The Karma Philosophy”

What happens to us is the result of our own deeds. We often say that what we give is what we get. But we never talk about the time and the magnitude.

According to Karma, the result of our deeds and the actions is multi-folded and multi-timed.

If we have been rude to people or have caused the pain in the present birth or the past birth, then we would encounter those people across my life causing pain for no reason. This is the darkest secret of Karma.

If we know the Karma philosophy at its deepest roots, I would never question anyone’s unjust behavior. Doesn’t it happen to us sometimes that someone comes in our life for a very short period of time and hurts us and goes? Didn’t we think, why?

Hence, the Knowledge of Karma helps us to solve the jigsaw puzzle of life events and enhances our performance for our next Karma.

In conclusion, knowing some basics of life philosophies and practice some mental exercises, we can remain lighthearted in any situation no matter what.

These are my secrets to be calm when people treat me unfairly.

What are your techniques and secrets to deal with an insult? Please share it with me in the comments below.