How to STAR in Your Life

A new way to achieve better results

Your destiny is in your hands. Sure, we can hear that and nod in agreement, but do we truly believe it?

If you take a poll of successful people, the message will be resounding: It’s up to you to build your own success. In other words, it’s your choice to decide where you want to go. It’s your responsibility to create a path to get there.

On one level, this statement is pure, simple, and true. Countless success stories support this premise. On the other hand, the statement can be infuriating. Most of us have multiple blind spots, beliefs that do not serve us well, and obstacles that block our way to achieving the results we want. And of course, there is also the critical matter of how you define “success.”

Becoming the Star

Because of these struggles in my life, I eventually uncovered the S.T.A.R. approach to life and wrote a bestselling book about it, titled “Uncommon Sense.”

The STAR approach is a common behavioral pattern that runs through every person’s life, yet, while simple to understand, it remains largely unnoticed.

Applying the STAR approach in your life represents the opportunity to learn from the past, discover new opportunities in the present, and chart a course for a more fruitful life. Looking to the wisdom of the past for guidance, you can greatly change and influence your present and future path. It will allow you to move into the future with clarity and purpose.

While your path toward success may look more like random steppingstones toward an unknown destination, a few powerful questions you can ask yourself will help you figure out how to reach the end goal.

The Artificial Taste of Most Self-Help

What does success look like to you? How do you create a path that will get you where you want to go? And most importantly, how do you overcome the personal obstacles that hinder your ability to move forward with real results?

I struggled for years to answer these questions, and I have a mountain of journals to prove it. I read countless self-help books and listened to umpteen motivational speeches. Can I be completely honest with you? While much of this study inspired and fed me temporarily, it was more like an artificial sweetener rather than something that gave me lasting energy.

The information tasted great going down, but it left a bad aftertaste and I made minimal progress toward my goals. Little of it helped me make the real changes I needed to move forward.

Beginning to See in New Ways

With persistence, I eventually began to make changes and see results. It started with small insights and baby steps, but change began to happen. I could see the results I wanted so desperately in my life.

Over time, I noticed a pattern of positive change. Usually, change in my life started with asking deep questions. The answers, although sometimes disturbing, brought new insights and perspectives. The insights and expanded perspectives helped me see opportunities I had not noticed before.

As a result, I took actions that produced entirely different and new results. With each change, my life became more satisfying and more aligned with my purpose, values, and goals.

I began learning this when I started asking myself this question: “What can I do to improve my performance so I can show I’m worth more than I’m currently being paid?”

At the time, we were struggling financially. I knew hard work and diligence would help me move ahead, yet I didn’t want my job to overtake my life. As I continued to seek an easy answer to this question, I found how others had become successful, and I noticed that it hadn’t been as easy as I had hoped.

I began to understand that I had a love for learning. I believed that, if I applied myself like so many others had, it would impact my career greatly. I worked hard, read a lot of books, learned from others, and soon began advancing in my career.

This process became a lifelong pattern, which over time led me to one of the top positions in the largest company in my industry. And it all started because of acting on my love of learning!

Reaping the Results

Fast-forward to now. Positive change has impacted me so profoundly that I left a lucrative career in corporate America to retire early and become a professional coach. I chose to be a coach because I believe, through my personal and professional experience, that anyone can make changes toward the things that excite them and live a more fulfilling life.

I’m not talking about pie-in-the-sky stuff that may inspire you for a brief time and then dwindle into nothingness. Let’s face it: Life brings many challenges and changes with it.

At this point in my life, I’m beginning to experience more and more that could be considered disheartening. I’ve seen friends and family die, watched careers end, and heard so much sad news. But I know there is another part of life — if only I open my eyes a little wider — in which I can make a difference. And I believe I can do so not only in my life, but in others’ lives.

As I’ve worked through my journey and coached others, I’ve uncovered a process that guides people through positive change. I call it the STAR approach, because that’s what it’s all about: becoming the star in your life and shining your brightest.

While the STAR approach is simple and easy to understand, it will challenge you to “dig deep” and make some profound changes. Only through that work can you get the results you truly want, or dare I say, need.

The good news is that you can easily focus on one thing and make one change at a time. Small changes will compound into significant results, and over time, those results will help you build the life of your dreams.

The STAR Approach

Here is how the S.T.A.R. Approach works:

S — When you learn to See in new ways

T — You begin to Think in new ways

A — The door then opens for you to Act in new ways

R — Which leads you to Reap new results

Let’s further define each of the four parts of the STAR approach.

See — To see in new ways means to notice, observe, become aware of, view, watch, recognize, or witness.

Think — To think in new ways is to understand, reason, consider, comprehend, envision, and make meaning.

Act — To act in new ways is to move, step, do, accomplish, undertake, or execute.

Reap — To Reap new results is to obtain, bring in, come to have, secure, realize, or receive.

By applying this simple system in your life, you too can realize significant results in your life. I challenge you to give it a try and become the STAR in your life!

For a deeper look in using the STAR approach to create better results in your life, please see How to Use the STAR Approach in Your Life.

Bill Abbate Leadership Writer in ILLUMINATION.

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