How To Shrink Your Shrink Expenses
A six-step process to use an imaginary counselor or mentor.
Our mental health matters. Really. We can’t do much if our mind is full of the challenges we face in everyday life. At times, problems mount, and we sometimes can feel we are slipping down an endless slope of worry and anxiety. At least, that is what I feel from time to time.
I was thinking about this today and wondered how I might solve a particular mental challenge I face. I had a bit of a flash of an idea. Why not use an imaginary counselor or a hypothetical therapist?
I don’t think the idea is new or as strange as it may first sound. But to do this you need just one thing. Well, maybe you need two things.
Requirements
- A good imagination
- A real desire to solve a problem you are facing, mental or otherwise.
Method of Approach
So here is what I propose for a method. And, yes, for all you folks who like steps, here they are…
I— Choose Your Psychiatrist Or Mentor.
Try to imagine in your mind who you will be speaking to.
- Male or female?
- A famous person who you look up to perhaps, or someone you deeply respect? Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, Hilary Clinton, Rosa Parks, Jay Leno, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, or Tom Hanks perhaps?
- A person now deceased or from your past? Maybe Julius Ceasar, Ben Franklin, Marie Curie, Ada Lovelace, Mary (Mother of Jesus), and maybe even Socrates?
If you know me you might guess that I will pick Jim Rohn. I see him as wisdom personified. Further to that, I have read pretty much everything this man has written. I have attended many of his lectures, at least those that are available on YouTube. So I have a pretty good idea of what he might say when I have a mental visit with him.
II — Prepare For Your Meeting
If you really were going to visit with someone on the list above, would you just show up to your session without any preparation?
I don’t think so.
If you really respected the person you are going to visit with, and that is part of the requirement for this process, you would come to your meeting prepared. You would not want to waste this person’s time and, worse, embarrass yourself by looking like a mud wump. Probably the best way to start this process will be to…
III — Write Down The Problem You Face.
Perhaps the largest challenge I face on a day-to-day basis is not actually writing down the problem that I want to solve. This, for me, will be the beginning of the process to analyze my obstacle. I personally find a clearly written statement of the challenge I am facing is an invaluable step towards an eventual solution. If we let the issue circulate endlessly in our brains, we usually get to only one place quickly — nowhere.
So write down the problem.
Also, if you have the problem in a written form, when you do go to your meeting you will have a concrete starting point for your discussion.
And, I would like to add that we should write down and deal with only one problem at a time. If you have many problems, perhaps start with the most pressing or difficult one you face. By solving this enigma, you will certainly feel a mental boost, and a surge of physical energy to do whatever you need to do to get this situation fixed.
Alternatively, you might want to start with the simplest problem you are currently struggling with. If you solve the simple challenge first, you will get confidence that you can deal with and solve the harder one next.
So you can pick: a hard one or an easy one. Maybe, since you are just starting, pick an easier problem to get your feet wet.
IV — Come Up With Potential Solutions
You will need to have a few ideas of your own — not just sit there like a bump on a log during your counseling session. You will need to present your mentor with some potential or possible directions you might follow. It reflects your maturity and the fact that you value the time of your mentor.
These thoughts may only provide a starting point for the discussion you will have with your phantom counselor — but they will greatly enhance the time you spend with your advisor. They also may lead you to a solution and perhaps the meeting will be one of just asking advice for the execution of your potential answer — as opposed to coming up with a totally unique solution in your meeting.
You might want to approach this task as follows…
- Tally a series of possible solutions you have come up with.
- Note the advantages and disadvantages of these potential solutions.
- Do some background research on what others have done who faced a similar situation.
- Make a list of questions you would be sure to ask your imaginary mentor.
V — Go For Your Visit
Here is where your imagination comes into play and where you can save yourself a boatload of money and travel time as well. You are going to go and “visit” your imaginary counselor.
When I go to my meeting with Jim Rohn, we will set a date at a restaurant. No doubt this will be a high-end swanky joint as Jim is accustomed to eating at such places. I will keep my eye on Jim as the meeting, and food experience, progresses. I want to make sure my guest is comfortable and getting everything, and anything, he wants. I will spare no expense (snicker — since this is a meeting within the confines of my imagination, the cost is actually zero. But treating my mentor, Mr. Rohn, to a fantastic meal will be a wonderful experience for me. Literally, it will be a dream come true.).
And, when you go, don’t forget a notepad and a pen. And I mean a real piece of paper and a writing implement. You will want to capture any ideas you come up with during your imaginary visit.
This part of the process may transpire as follows…
- Where and when is the meeting taking place? I know Jim Rohn was a fan of breakfast meetings in restaurants.
- How do you think your meeting might start? You will probably exchange pleasantries.
- After your initial small talk, you will probably want to get the discussion rolling with your statement of the problem you are facing. Give some background information perhaps? List possible social entanglements that you face if the problem is with someone in your family, or a close associate, for example.
- Now probably would be a good time to list potential solutions you have come up with. Advantages of each — and disadvantages.
- Listen to your mentor and you list your solutions. Does your psychiatrist or teacher say anything? Pay attention to facial expressions, that may give a hint to your next step in solving your challenge.
- Ask any questions that you have, especially the ones that you wrote down as you prepared for the meeting. What does your mentor say as you ask them?
VI — Meeting Wrap Up
As you begin to wrap up your meeting you should have made some notes. Also, it would only be polite to thank your guest for coming to the meeting to help you.
And this is the best part. Naturally, you will be paying for the meal if you met in a real restaurant, as I would do if this were an in-person meeting.
That is the coolest part of this whole system. Naturally, I will be paying to show my gratitude for meeting with my guest. It is the right thing to do. But I will use my imaginary Visa card! That’s right, no real money is used here. The meeting is 100% free. Imagine meeting with the person you could only dream of a one-on-one with, and that the meeting was completely free. I love free stuff!
Remember also that your first meeting may not provide you with a definitive solution. You and your counselor may have jointly come up with a few ideas of what to do or what to try. You will probably have to go away from the meeting and test out potential solutions. Another meeting may be required.
So don’t be disheartened if you don’t get a perfect solution during your first session. It is only natural that further refinements may be required as you go along.
Good Luck
If you do try this meeting system with the mentor, therapist, titan of industry, rap god, social influencer, or historic figure, let me know. I would be very interested to know what you and your counselor came up with.
All the best… Max
