How to Save Money Even If Your Partner Overspends

Your first step is to manage your money, not your partner.

Sam is a doctor and a loving husband. He has been married to his wife for 10 years with no child.

Sam loves his wife. She has been his long-time sweetheart before they got married. She knew Sam wanted kids and she agreed they will have two. She even picked out baby names for the two children (boy and girl) she was going to have.

Two years into the marriage, Sam’s wife changed. She stopped being the sweat supportive girlfriend Sam had married.

She quit her job and solely depended on Sam’s income. But the problem is, that Sam barely makes enough to meet his wife’s needs.

In the first two years of their marriage, she insisted they charged their car, and bought a new home. They fly first-class to every vacation once a month and shopped only for luxury brands.

Sam was in love and would do anything to make his wife happy and comfortable. Little did he know he was digging his own grave.

Ten years later, Sam has no savings to keep his homing running for a month. His wife was turned into a thorn in his flesh. Sam is never home because he’s working on the clock. His wife got him a job where the pay was more than he used to earn before they got married.

The new job demanded he worked long hours so he was barely home to spend time with his wife.

Sam is frustrated that after ten years he has nothing to show for his commitment and dedication as a husband. His wife has refused to get pregnant and he has no funds to fall back on if he retired today.

His wife doesn’t care how traumatized he is. She’s hosting parties every other weekend to keep up with the appearance.

Sam has had enough. He spoke to his attorney and has begun divorce processing. His attorney has advised him to move out of their home until the divorce is finalized. The prenup they had before marriage protects him from sharing his assets.

How to stop your partner from overspending

I feel bad for Sam. Just like Sam, most men make the mistake of choosing beauty over character.

Love, they say is blind. But is it the love that is blind or our ignorance makes us blind?

Living with an extravagant partner can have drastic consequences on your mental health. You lose your mind each time a box is delivered to your doorstep and you find out that you don’t even need what they bought.

I have friends who complain bitterly about their husband’s overspending lifestyle. They make hasty investments, indulge in big-ticket purchases, shop luxury items beyond their income and end up not using the items. So it’s not just women who are guilty of spending extravagantly.

Sometimes spouses take on hoarding behavior as a form of stress-coping mechanism, or anxiety due to loss of job.

Whatever the case may be, as the burden of their spending falls on you, here are some effective ways to protect yourself from an extravagant partner.

Restrict their access to your credit cards.

If your partner has a habit of going on a spending spree without consulting you, it will best you set some boundaries on your credit cards.

You can have a private account and a joint account so you can preserve your cash flow in the private account. This way if they overspend on the joint account, you will still have the funds in your private account protected.

Set specific long-term saving goals.

Having a yearly investment plan can be a good way to keep your overspending partner from blowing up your bank account and protecting your credit score.

After all, their debit is yours too and if they are spending more than your incomes joined together, that can have a negative score when you decide to go for a mortgage or loan in the future.

Use a retirement savings projection plan.

Consider setting up a 401k account. Your overspending partner cannot access the finds you have in your 401k accounts.

Transferring more of your income into your retirement account will limit your partner’s spending budget. They will be forced to make do with the money you bring into the house and you will have more piece of mind.

Plan purchases with a shopping list.

If you have dated an extravagant partner, you will notice they do not keep a shopping list. They spend on anything they think they have the chance to buy. But as the conservative partner, you keep a list of your needs in order of priority.

If you need to restock on food or clothing, both of you should keep a list handy to prevent confusion on what to buy. Then reconcile your spending each day or week to ensure that you’re staying within your range.

Set up an income and expenditure rule

Some couples have managed to keep their expenses in check by using the 50/30/20 income rule. You can use an app or a budget sheet to know where your money is coming from and where is it going.

Tracking your income and expenses can be effective in allocating funds to the appropriate goals.

From the income rule, you can allocate 20% of your income to savings, e.g real estate, retirement plan, etc, 30% to luxury wants such as vacation, tickets, and then 50% to your everyday needs like grocery, and utility bills.

Final thoughts

When you are confronting an overspending partner try to be more understanding and less judgmental.

Sometimes they may have a problem they are not sharing with you, but when you make them feel like you are in it together, they will be inclined to open up about the reason they are spending more than they should.

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