How to Respond When Haters Say, “You Can’t Do It”

Focus your energy on this and it will make a gigantic difference.

When I was younger, there was someone at my school who told me I’d never start on the basketball team. This person tried to get into my head and get enjoyment out of seeing me frustrated. I could never understand it. Why, I thought? When I went on to play in college, I remember seeing them at the diner as I returned home from winter break.

They walked by me with their head hung down in shame. No, “Congrats!” No, “Way to go!” Crickets.

I walked by with my head held high. No words. No sneer on my face. Just kept moving forward. It wasn’t worth it to waste any time or words on anyone that was intent on dragging me down. I’d rather save that energy for my goals and dreams and continuing to get better as a person.

The “haters” live to rob us of our joy. And if we’re not strong enough mentally or emotionally, they can really get under our skin. Maybe they’re projecting their own shortcomings on us. Regardless, it shouldn’t be our concern. We should only concern ourselves with the path in front of us.

Once we are confident and focused on what we’re doing, we are on guard for those individuals or thoughts that aim to harm us. It’s easy to suggest that we should pay them no mind or ignore them completely, but unfortunately, life is not always that kind. Sometimes we have to deal with negative people (haters) by focusing on our mindset and knowing exactly how to respond.

The Way to Silence The Haters

Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality — Abraham Lincoln

The way to silence the haters or even the devil on your left shoulder is by properly analyzing your current situation with a clear mind. Assess all the positives and negatives. Do not allow dishonest and self-deprecating thoughts to creep into your mind.

When they come up, reject them with an overwhelming belief that you are not buying what the negative voice is saying. This takes practice and self-coaching. It takes the power of auto-suggestion, when you allow yourself to speak to your subconscious mind with effort and persistence. Focus your energy on what you control, not what you can’t.

You will shun the negative voices through the power of your self-confidence, boosting your self-esteem and programming your mind to visualize your rebuttal. You must actually see yourself refusing to give in to negativity. You can visualize exactly the way you want to carry yourself and to know what it looks like to move forward with confidence in the face of negativity.

There is a major need to expunge any anger or frustration from our systems when we feel ourselves succumbing to the words of a hater. The right way to do this is in a healthy, controlled environment, without adversely affecting people around you. Give yourself some time to vent, breathe out the negatives and then- suck it up! Keep a positive attitude.

The need to clear our mind is imperative for moving forward. Hold your head high and block out negative emotions by doing things that can drive change and improve your situation all around. Smart organized planning, highlighting goals and immersing yourself in an environment conducive to inspiration will help.

We all need allies and people to talk to who care about us and are willing to listen.

Build Your Self-Awareness

“I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.” — Charlotte Brontë

Be self-aware enough to refuse to give in to temptations and crutches that will only extend your unhappiness. Believe and will yourself back by your faith in knowing that you cannot do it all on your own. Turn anger on its head and use it to your advantage to fuel your negative moments by transforming them into your biggest comebacks.

I can assure that feeling sorry for yourself is a poor way to live. Self-pity is a dangerous space to dwell in, because it can perpetuate itself, and make you feel like the victim. Self-pity makes us look at all of our situations through a lens of bias, influencing us to accuse others, when we have no logical reason to assign blame to anyone else.

As the great Steve Jobs once said, “We cannot connect the dots going forward. We can only connect them looking back.” It’s hard to believe at the time but our greatest moments are often just ahead of us if we’re willing to commit, believe and persevere! The way to reject the haters is to hold your head high, keep moving forward and trust in your abilities.

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