How To Respond To Racist Comments
An example of how to disarm an attacker from NFL player Julian Edelman
It started when DeSean Jackson, an NFL player for the Philadelphia Eagles posted an antisemitic quote attributed to Hitler on social media.
That’s when a fellow NFL player and Superbowl MVP award winner responded. Julian Edelman, who identifies as Jewish, didn’t fight back, at least not in the usual way. He responded with an offer.
Edelman offered Jackson a trip to the United States Holocaust Museum, to learn more about Jewish history and antisemitism. Edelman also invited Jackson to sit down with him at a Sabbath meal with friends.
The unusual move by Edelman is based on his belief that Jackson’s statements were made out of ignorance. His offer is rooted in the idea that listening, not shutting down, or fighting can be an effective way to address ignorant speech.
Over the next few days, the two men spoke. When asked how their conversation went, they said that the details were private. But they did announce a plan to get together and visit the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. Edelman also suggested they visit the Black History Museum together so there could be a deeper, mutual understanding.
When Edelman spoke to the press, this is what he had to say about Jackson:
“I know he said some ugly things, but I do see an opportunity to have a conversation. I am proud of my Jewish heritage, and for me, it’s not just about religion, it’s about community and culture as well.. . . Anti-Semitism is one of the oldest forms of hatred. It’s rooted in ignorance and fear.
Jackson publicly responded with this statement:
People make mistakes in life, and it was a mistake I made and I had to own up to it as a man.
Within a short time, Jackson also had another invitation. This time from a 94-year-old Holocaust survivor to tour Auschwitz, the Nazi death camp. Jackson accepted.
There is no question that as a result of these relationships and firsthand learning, he be able to come to his own conclusions about the offensive social media posts.
Edelman played the position of wide receiver. Not knowing much about football, I looked up the role of this position.
The wide receiver’s principal role is to catch forward passes from the quarterback. On passing plays, the receiver attempts to avoid, outmaneuver, or simply outrun the cornerbacks or safeties typically defending him.
My impression of football had been that the players crash into each other, butt heads, and attack the opposing team. It turns out that an important aspect of winning a game is not attacking but avoiding the fight.
As Sun Tzu said in The Art of War,
He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.
Offering understanding and education is an approach that won’t always work, but it is an underused strategy for dealing with those who speak against your religion, race, or sexual orientation.
It’s easy to take shots at others on social media. Even when the person who made the attacks is identifiable, social media offers a form of anonymity and safety.
But face to face is different. One to one is different.
When you are forced to face the person you attack; when that person is not fighting back but is offering an opportunity to heal, the mood shifts. This is one way to disarm an angry person.
Julian Edelman just retired from the NFL at the age of 34. Hopefully, his example of tolerance will be remembered along with his illustrious career as a player.