How To Respond To A Woman Rejecting You

There Are Right Ways To Handle It And Wrong Ways

Despite what most men seem to think, women appreciate how hard it is for a man to ask a woman out. We know you’re making yourself vulnerable and that everyone hates rejection, so we actually spend a lot of time worrying about how to tell a man that we don’t want to date them without hurting their feelings.

It’s why women, when asked out, will often say things like:

“That’s very flattering, but-”

“You seem like a nice guy, but-”

“I’m sorry, but-”

“I already have a boyfriend.”

Because we know we can’t date the guy for whatever reason, but we don’t want them to hate themselves. We want to make the rejection easier when we say things like that. We’re trying to word it in a way that will be less personal.

So the right way to respond is just to be polite and accept what she says. This will be relieving to her and you’ll come across in the best light possible. Not only to her, but to other women who might hear about the interaction later or see it happen in person.

She might even wish she could have said yes if she wasn’t in a relationship already or whatever made her say no.

The wrong way to respond to her is to insult her or threaten her. Or to keep asking her and try to manipulate her into saying yes later.

When you insult a woman that you just asked out, she doesn’t believe any of your insults. You asked her out, so you obviously thought she was attractive or you wouldn’t have done this.

Instead, it gives a woman a lasting impression that you’re a misogynist (because you hate people you’re attracted to or you wouldn’t be this angry) and that you’re super abusive and insecure.

Men who accept our rejections well, we think highly of later. Men who take them badly we discuss for years to come and we warn other women not to date them.

For example, when I was in college and already in a serious relationship with the man who would become my husband, this guy in one of my classes asked me out.

I said, “No. I have a boyfriend already.”

I didn’t insult him or laugh at him or do anything to try to make him feel bad.

He called me every curse word he knew through text messages and accused me of leading him on. Then he gave a speech in our speech class where he yelled the entire speech angrily at me in front of the whole class. It was such a spectacle that the professor yelled at him afterwards about it as he stormed out of the classroom.

It’s been over ten years and I still tell the story as an example of how pathetic and misogynistic some men can be. If he hadn’t done any of that, I wouldn’t be telling the story of him asking me out ever to anyone.

In all honestly, I didn’t like him and didn’t think he was attractive. I would have said no even if I wasn’t in a relationship, but because I felt bad for him, I said the reason why I wouldn’t date him was because I was already in a relationship.

I was actually trying to avoid insulting him or making him feel bad, but he didn’t pay me the same courtesy.

And now he will be someone I speak of in disgust for the rest of my life. My skin crawls as I think about how horrible he probably treats any woman in his life.

And as for asking women out again and trying to wear them down, women find that horrible as well because it reminds us of rapists. I’m not saying men who do this are rapists, I’m just explaining what it reminds us of so you understand why we find it creepy.

Rapists don’t take no for an answer. They push and force a woman to give them whatever they want. So men who can’t accept “no”, terrify us. They do not arouse us.

But men frequently get told to be persistent when they want to date a woman, to work for it and win over the girl. It doesn’t work though and just leaves men frustrated and acting like incels because they’re so busy focusing on one girl, they don’t even realize that they could move on and be happy with someone else.

It’s hard for men to ask a woman out, but it’s also hard for women to say no to a man. We don’t take pleasure in it. In fact, some of us fear it and have extreme anxiety about it because we’re afraid of retaliation and don’t like to hurt people’s feelings.

So if you keep asking a woman out over and over again, she might clam up because she’s afraid to keep saying no and instead report you to an authority figure for harassing her. This can ruin your reputation and have bad repercussions.

In the end, the best thing you can do when you’re rejected is move on.

Women get rejected, too. I’ve been rejected many times when flirting with men in my lifetime (and women because I’m bisexual.) I spent many years super intimidated about talking to anyone I was attracted to.

It’s why dating sucks and why I’m glad I don’t have to do it anymore.

So understand that women can respect a man who approaches them and asks them out. We know how hard it is, but we can’t respect a man who can’t accept no for an answer.

It doesn’t help anything to lash out or try to pressure her to change your mind. The best revenge you can get on someone who doesn’t return your feelings is to move on and become happy with someone else.

People desire happy, confident people and they’ll be more impressed by that than if you get mad at them for daring to say no.

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