How to Recognize a Toxic Relationship

And stop taking poison

Some relationships are bad for you. It’s not always the other person’s fault. Sometimes they trigger severe issues. When they do, the time’s ripe to engage in inner work so the problem doesn’t arise again. Difficult relationships can serve as catalysts for growth.

After all, you won’t always recognize you harbor angst about abandonment if someone doesn’t show signs of leaving or know you have a fear of criticism until you’re criticized.

Toxic relationships damage you

Certain complex relationships, though, are poison for you. No good can come from allowing someone to mistreat you. If you’re not ready to stop them or unable, personal growth will lag, and pain will flow.

Some toxic people are hard to spot; they might initially seem charming. They can’t get close to you unless you imagine it is worthwhile bonding with them, so they must behave in likable ways.

Once you’re connected, they have the power to cause you anxiety. Or, I should say, be your cues for anxiety. No one can make you think or feel as you do. You create your emotions with your thoughts. Others are responsible for the way they treat you, however.

You’ll know if you’re in a toxic relationship because it causes you more stress than joy. Sometimes, valuable relationships go through tough times too, but they are healthy at other times. Poisonous couplings and friendships get worse over time.

How do you change or get out of damaging relationships?

To discover if matters can improve, you must stand up for yourself. Doing so isn’t straightforward since you might be stuck in patterns of compliant behavior, wherein you inadvertently permit the toxic person to mistreat you.

Sue, for instance, always caved in when her overbearing husband demanded that she agree with his wishes. When she finally had enough, altering her habit of giving way didn’t come naturally.

She had to persist in practicing how to behave each time he became difficult until she finally made headway. Their relationship became less toxic and more loving.

Injurious relationships, nonetheless, are too damaging to keep, and parting ways is the smartest choice. If someone hurts you on purpose or can’t stop verbally assassinating you all the time, you are their metaphorical punch bag.

Physical violence also is not to be endured. When a person is violent, it doesn’t matter if they say sorry. They will repeat their behavior until they change and grow. It’s not your job to receive blows until they transform into peaceful individuals.

Friendships, not only romantic partnerships, are sometimes toxic. When a so-called friend puts you down behind your back frequently or manipulates you to do their bidding, reconsider whether it’s worth having them in your life. Weigh the good and bad times to see which is the heaviest.

You might think it’s wrong to let go of friends, even when they are not good for you, but you must if you want freedom and confidence. Toxic people bring you down and stunt your personal growth.

Real friends and romantic loves may present challenges but aren’t toxic. They will never hurt you on purpose or repeat damaging behavior. Not unless they don’t care or are out of control. Either way, it’s time to end your connection if you want to stay sane.

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