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Abstract

utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>Do you know any Freddie King songs? He was one of the greatest bluesmen of the last century. In one of his songs he soulfully roars the verse “In this world you need friendship, you need friendship to survive, you aint got no friends baby, you can run but you can’t hide, you can run but you can’t hide.” He could have been talking about success.Faking it till you make it is a mind game. And the best friend you can play the game with is also the most powerful friend you have; it’s your brain. Most people don’t get on very well with their brains. A few people, like Richard Bandler, John Grinder, and Arnold Schwarzenegger do. Bandler and Grinder know what the brain likes, and Schwarzenegger knows how to use his brain for enormous success.Your brain likes playing, and your brain likes make believe. Faking it till you make it can be done by playing make believe. You can use that knowledge to massively increase your motivation and level of ability in various endeavours. Let me show you how.<h2 id="214f">I just can’t make those calls</h2><figure id="692e"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*RdYxuHTKP5mdTbA1"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@alex_andrews?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Alexander Andrews</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>For a long time I avoided making cold calls to expand my business. I knew I aught to do it. The people who make the calls do well, it’s that simple. But I just couldn’t motivate myself to do it. As hard as I tried, as much discipline as I mustered, I never could get past the fifth or sixth call. I had no idea why until I uncovered all of the negative mental representations my brain associated with cold calling (see my article <a href="https://readmedium.com/get-motivated-6a90b9e57843">GET MOTIVATED!</a> for an explanation of how to uncover your mental representations). My brain saw making phone calls as a massive source of pain, so I really stood no chance of making them. But my brain loves to play, so you can guess what game I played can’t you?I played Fake It Till You Make It! This is exactly the same as the games I played when I was a child, pretending to be Superman, pretending I was invisible, or pretending I was a rock star, but with a tiny bit more structure and only one rule. I had to have fun. The moment the game stopped being fun, my brain would turn against me. (Incidentally I grew up to be a fantastic guitarist, but I never managed to fly or become invisible.)I sat down with my list of contacts, I grabbed my phone, and I grabbed my script. It was time to fake it! Without dialling a single number for real, I acted out dialling all of my contacts, having great conversations with all of them, and getting them all to agree to a follow up appointment. I did the whole thing with exaggerated tonality, ridiculous dramatics, and over the top celebrations after every call. I was like a caricature of Leonardo Di Caprio’s character in The Wo

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lf of Wall Street. It was ridiculous and it was fun. Me and my brain thoroughly enjoyed it. And that’s what matters. Our brains are hedonistic, and anything that is enjoyable, they want to do again and again.The next day I got on the phone for real, I made calls, and I did well. It was a revelation. Half an hour of faking it, and I was finally making it. I have been involved in that business for year and years, and for years and years I’ve tried to force myself with logic and self talk to make those calls, all to no avail. Half an hour of fun, and I was ready and motivated to pick up the phone the next day and get to it.You can do it too. If there’s something you really aught to do, something that will help you make it, but you just can’t seem to manage, make a game out of it. Make believe. Make it enjoyable. Make it funny and dramatic. Fake it properly and your brain will be ready to get on your side, and get you the results you’re after.That’s how you fake it till you make it.<h2 id="2a7c">So, what about Schwarzenegger and Bandler?</h2><figure id="a6ad"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*1kdOOZNIs4Ey0GM7"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@thielypics?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Thierry K</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>Arnold Schwarzenegger needs no introduction. That’s because he’s been so incredibly successful in so many fields. If you’ve read any of his books, listened to any of his talks, or subscribed to his newsletter, you’ll know he’s a massive advocate of visualisation. Schwarzenegger has always had a knack for visualising the things he wants to create in his life, from lifting the Mr Olympia trophy above his head, to being the world’s greatest action star, to being the Governor of California.Visualising is a form of make belief. It’s using your imagination to recruit your brain and it’s incredible powers to steer your life in the direction you want it to go. Once you get your brain on side, your motivation, your actions and everything else tend to quickly fall in line and your chances of success increase drastically.Richard Bandler and John Grinder are the founders of NLP. Their work helps to explain why visualisation, when done properly is so incredibly powerful. If you can visualise the things you want in an enjoyable way, your brain will want to make them real. You can learn more about NLP and how to get your brain on your side in one of the many books by Bandler and Grinder.If you’ve enjoyed reading this article and you’re not a Medium member, you might notice you can only read 3 articles per month. If you create an account, you can read 5 articles a month without charge. But if you become a member ( only $5/month or$ 50/year) you can read as many articles as you want, ad-free. <a href="https://nasarkarim.medium.com/membership">You can become a member here</a> and if you use my link I retain a small portion of your fee. Thanks for your support!</article></body>

How To Really Fake It Till You Make It

Get it wrong at your peril

Of all the self improvement slogans that get thrown around by sales managers, wannabe entrepreneurs and life coaches, ‘fake it till you make it’ has got to be one of the most dangerous. The words themselves are harmless, but most people don’t know how to implement them. Fake it till you make it is not stupid, but people do stupid things with it.

It’s a bit like a samurai sword or a motorcycle. Both are extremely capable objects; a piece of forged steel that can slice through flesh and bone with sickening ease, and a machine that can go from zero to one hundred faster than just about anything else on the road and get you out of a jam very quickly. But try faking kenjutsu or motorcycle riding and see how long you last. You'll probably chop off your own feet or get yourself killed.

What it’s not

Don’t listen to the swaggering sales manager telling you to fake it till you make it.

If you do what most ambitious fools do and exchange piles of money you don’t have for luxury watches, expensive suits, and fast cars, you’ll break long before you make anything. Debt does not magically attract income.

Faking it till you make it is not maxing out all your credit lines just to look the part.

So what is it?

Sales managers who know more than one slogan might occasionally repeat something like ‘Act like a success, and you’ll become a success.’ That’s closer to the mark. The clue is in the word act.

Quite simply, if you do what successful people do, you will eventually have some of what successful people have. You can act your way into a bit of that wonderful panacea we all crave; success.

You’re going to need some help

Do you know any Freddie King songs? He was one of the greatest bluesmen of the last century. In one of his songs he soulfully roars the verse “In this world you need friendship, you need friendship to survive, you aint got no friends baby, you can run but you can’t hide, you can run but you can’t hide.” He could have been talking about success.

Faking it till you make it is a mind game. And the best friend you can play the game with is also the most powerful friend you have; it’s your brain. Most people don’t get on very well with their brains. A few people, like Richard Bandler, John Grinder, and Arnold Schwarzenegger do. Bandler and Grinder know what the brain likes, and Schwarzenegger knows how to use his brain for enormous success.

Your brain likes playing, and your brain likes make believe. Faking it till you make it can be done by playing make believe. You can use that knowledge to massively increase your motivation and level of ability in various endeavours. Let me show you how.

I just can’t make those calls

For a long time I avoided making cold calls to expand my business. I knew I aught to do it. The people who make the calls do well, it’s that simple. But I just couldn’t motivate myself to do it. As hard as I tried, as much discipline as I mustered, I never could get past the fifth or sixth call. I had no idea why until I uncovered all of the negative mental representations my brain associated with cold calling (see my article GET MOTIVATED! for an explanation of how to uncover your mental representations). My brain saw making phone calls as a massive source of pain, so I really stood no chance of making them. But my brain loves to play, so you can guess what game I played can’t you?

I played Fake It Till You Make It! This is exactly the same as the games I played when I was a child, pretending to be Superman, pretending I was invisible, or pretending I was a rock star, but with a tiny bit more structure and only one rule. I had to have fun. The moment the game stopped being fun, my brain would turn against me. (Incidentally I grew up to be a fantastic guitarist, but I never managed to fly or become invisible.)

I sat down with my list of contacts, I grabbed my phone, and I grabbed my script. It was time to fake it! Without dialling a single number for real, I acted out dialling all of my contacts, having great conversations with all of them, and getting them all to agree to a follow up appointment. I did the whole thing with exaggerated tonality, ridiculous dramatics, and over the top celebrations after every call. I was like a caricature of Leonardo Di Caprio’s character in The Wolf of Wall Street. It was ridiculous and it was fun. Me and my brain thoroughly enjoyed it. And that’s what matters. Our brains are hedonistic, and anything that is enjoyable, they want to do again and again.

The next day I got on the phone for real, I made calls, and I did well. It was a revelation. Half an hour of faking it, and I was finally making it. I have been involved in that business for year and years, and for years and years I’ve tried to force myself with logic and self talk to make those calls, all to no avail. Half an hour of fun, and I was ready and motivated to pick up the phone the next day and get to it.

You can do it too. If there’s something you really aught to do, something that will help you make it, but you just can’t seem to manage, make a game out of it. Make believe. Make it enjoyable. Make it funny and dramatic. Fake it properly and your brain will be ready to get on your side, and get you the results you’re after.

That’s how you fake it till you make it.

So, what about Schwarzenegger and Bandler?

Arnold Schwarzenegger needs no introduction. That’s because he’s been so incredibly successful in so many fields. If you’ve read any of his books, listened to any of his talks, or subscribed to his newsletter, you’ll know he’s a massive advocate of visualisation. Schwarzenegger has always had a knack for visualising the things he wants to create in his life, from lifting the Mr Olympia trophy above his head, to being the world’s greatest action star, to being the Governor of California.

Visualising is a form of make belief. It’s using your imagination to recruit your brain and it’s incredible powers to steer your life in the direction you want it to go. Once you get your brain on side, your motivation, your actions and everything else tend to quickly fall in line and your chances of success increase drastically.

Richard Bandler and John Grinder are the founders of NLP. Their work helps to explain why visualisation, when done properly is so incredibly powerful. If you can visualise the things you want in an enjoyable way, your brain will want to make them real. You can learn more about NLP and how to get your brain on your side in one of the many books by Bandler and Grinder.

If you’ve enjoyed reading this article and you’re not a Medium member, you might notice you can only read 3 articles per month. If you create an account, you can read 5 articles a month without charge. But if you become a member ( only $5/month or $50/year) you can read as many articles as you want, ad-free. You can become a member here and if you use my link I retain a small portion of your fee. Thanks for your support!