How to Read in a World Falling Apart

According to every conspiracy theorist ever, the world is going to end tomorrow (or the day after). So it’s about time we started preparing.

While most people are running around screaming the greatest platitude in the English language, “We’re all going to die”, I’ll be working my way through a final pile of books.

Why? Well, why not? If I have to go out in a blaze of glory, I’d rather do it with the words of Dante, Ishiguro and Evaristo ringing in my ears.

My Six-Point Plan to Reading through Global Catastrophe

1. Pick a good book

Chances are most books will have been destroyed long before the end of the world. Knowledge is power, etc. So start hoarding now.

I would suggest your end-of-the-world reading list should be a mix of classic and contemporary, a blend of doom and hope. Avoid anything blatantly dystopian as this will make it hard to block out the outside world.

You also don’t want anything that makes you wish for the end of the world to hurry up and arrive, so easy on the Dickens.

Finally, your reading should recognise the gravity of the situation. Don’t die clutching a copy of ‘Selfish’ by Kim Kardashian.

2. Find a comfy spot

If you’re into interior design, it is a good idea to plan ahead and create an impenetrable bunker. If not, you’ll have to just crouch in whatever remains of your house like the rest of us.

Cushions are a necessity. You want maximum comfort as the world burns.

3. Block out distractions

There’s a chance not everyone will be spending their final hours finishing off their reading list. Some may be making a lot of noise. Your family might want to chat to you. Your neighbours could all be holding hands in a circle and want you to join in.

You need to shut them out.

There’s always distractions when we try to concentrate. Hopefully your phone will have been destroyed before the end of the world, which at least takes social media out of the equation.

4. Remember why you’re reading

You’re reading for entertainment and engrossment, as an enjoyable end to your ephemeral existence and an enriching experience that will provide eternal exploration. Got that?

It’s never too late to broaden your mind and learn something new. This final reading experience will be liberating. You are reading for yourself, not to improve your job prospects or become a more interesting person.

You’re reading like nobody’s watching because nobody is watching.

5. Just keep reading

And reading and reading and reading. Move your eyes along the page left to right (or right to left if you’ve chosen أعراس آمنة as your Doomsday book), flip the page when you’ve finished all the lines on it and repeat the process until you’ve reached the end.

Then pick up the next one and do the same again.

6. Peer outside tentatively

Once you’ve made it through your pile of books, take a peek outside. What do you see? A more cultured, respectful society?

Congratulations, you are ready to read at the end of the world!

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If we are to emerge from this coronavirus pandemic as better, more thoughtful people, we should use the time to read and reflect.

So what are you waiting for? Here’s some ideas to get you going: