Summary

The article discusses strategies for making rational decisions amid past regrets and present uncertainties.

Abstract

The author of the article candidly shares personal experiences with decision paralysis caused by a history of poor choices. They emphasize the importance of accepting fear, living in the present, and seeking guidance through introspection, expert advice, and community engagement. The article highlights a journey of self-discovery and growth, encouraging readers to embrace the ambiguity of the future by asking the right questions and learning from past mistakes, ultimately leading to better decision-making.

Opinions

The author believes that acknowledging fear is crucial to personal growth and decision-making.
Past decisions, good or bad, should not hinder one's ability to make present choices.
Quotes from Buddha and Lao Tzu are referenced to stress the significance of living in the present moment.
Engaging with the community for advice, such as asking questions on platforms like Quora, can provide valuable insights.
Personal accountability and unique life circumstances necessitate tailored solutions to individual problems.
The act of not acting is detrimental to personal progress; it is better to make a decision and learn from it.
Introspection and asking the right questions are key to finding peace and making better choices for the future.
The author acknowledges the difficulty of breaking free from past regrets but insists that focusing on the present and planning for the future is essential for personal development.
The article concludes with a call to action for readers to apply the advice given and to support the author by engaging with their other works and hiring them on Fiverr.

How to Predict a Future when Confused in the Present?

With a past full of bad decisions

I have cried myself to sleep at night. I stopped talking to people. I have broken things over this. I have hurt myself. Worst of all, I have said things, I still regret.

A panic attack.

You cannot make a decision. You want to but you can’t. Your past is full of bad decisions, which stop you from making choices in the present, thus making your future even more miserable.

We all have been there.

And even though some of us choose recklessly, which is not good, it still doesn’t change the fact that we made bad decisions in the past. Plus, being fearless has nothing to do with having a better future.

You have to accept fear.

Not accepting will not make it go away. It will still be there. Besides, to do great things, you must embrace and accept fear.

Now, that is not the point here.

This problem, as the title says, is one I have faced multiple times myself. Sometimes I act, or I don’t. To be honest, when I don’t act, I don’t know what would have happened. Maybe it would have worked out or not.

But, the act of not acting changed nothing. I was there. My environment was there. My life was still as it was. Nothing improved. Nothing was taken away. Basically, I was still just there and if I did that to all my decisions in life, I would still be there.

Here is a quote for you, that you may recall in such situations:

The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live, and that is the present moment. — Buddha

or the second variant of it:

If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present. — Lao Tzu

As amazing as these quotes are, I want your true opinion. Are you in your complete senses to make a rational decision when you hit a wall?

At least, I am not.

So, I did something. Most of the time, people do not respond to your questions here on Medium because come on, you come here to read, not for a debate (but I do think a debate would be a good idea). So, I went on Quora.com and asked the same question as is the title of this post.

My question on Quora — Screenshot by Author

I did get four answers.

If you don’t want to read all of them, please skip them as I have given a summary after the answers. But, I do recommend reading answer no. 4.

Here they are:

Answer 1:

Answer 2–3:

Answer 4 (Do read this):

What did it all lead to?

Do it anyway but, ask questions.

If you have read all the answers you will know what I mean by the first part (Do it anyway) of the answer and if you have read the 4th answer, you will understand the second part (Ask Questions) of the answer.

Now go ahead read the following quotes again:

The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live, and that is the present moment. — Buddha

If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present. — Lao Tzu

Did you ever think that these fancy and cliched quotes don’t give us a solution on how to do it.

Read them again.

They don’t give a solution to your specific problem. They don’t even give a general solution to anything. They merely state a fact followed by an advice. But, the crazy part is that the fact IS the answer. The advice IS the answer.

For those of you who have read both the quotes and the Quora answers, you have understood it well now. This:

There is no solution given anywhere. So, do it anyway.

To not repeat the same mistakes again:

Ask the Right Questions.

As said in the fourth answer, a confused mind is like an ocean, on the surface, it is very active and chaotic but deep down the ocean, there is still calm. The more you go deep, the more answers you will find. Not too deep that you incapacitate yourself.

No one can show you the right way because no one cares about your life and your success as you do.

You have a problem unique to you. ‘But Syed, financial problem is not unique to me.’ Of course, it is not. But, your life is unique to you. Whatever is happening in your life is unique to you. Your friend with a financial problem can live in the streets because he is not yet married. You have kids, a loving wife, you have parents to care of. You cannot take them to live in the streets. Can you?

Look, my point is simple.

You are different. Look deep down for answers and when you find anything that is of help, do it anyway. I promise you, if you have arrived at the solution after asking the right questions, it will lead you to something you will be proud of.

Here are a few more things you can do:

Ask any of your friends, family, or acquaintances. If they have suffered through something similar and came out a winner, maybe they can help you in some way (easier said than done, but…drum role…do it anyway).
Read. Read a book. An article.
Ask an expert.

In the end, you are the one with the decision in hand.

You have to bear the consequences of your actions.

You cannot blame anybody.

Take responsibility, ask the right questions and do it anyway.

In the end, read this…

I know what it is like to be stuck. All your memories from the past are haunting you altogether. Event those for which you were not responsible. You are feeling regret, so you take everything on yourself. You curse yourself. You hurt yourself.

‘I am worthless. I am responsible for all this mess. I don’t deserve to live.’

I get it. How do I get it?

Because I have been through the same and I still do.

I have cried myself to sleep at night. I have stopped talking to people. I have broken things over this. I have hurt myself. Worst of all, I have said things, I still regret.

But, I do understand that the past is gone. I cannot change it. Following up on that, I cannot change my future too.

What I can do is learn from the past, plan for the future, and ask questions in the present to make better choices now.

Thank you for reading the post. I hope I could help you in some way. :)

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