avatarTerry L. Cooper

Summary

The article "How to Pigeonhole Your Thoughts and Emotions For Dummies" provides a method for managing and compartmentalizing emotions using a metaphorical shoe organizer to categorize and store feelings for later processing.

Abstract

The author of the article introduces the concept of emotional compartmentalization by drawing a parallel between organizing shoes and organizing emotions. This technique is presented as a coping mechanism to deal with conflicting or overwhelming feelings, particularly in challenging situations such as caring for an abusive parent, dealing with personal tragedy, or working in high-stress environments like the 9/11 disaster. The article offers a practical exercise involving a clear plastic shoe organizer and paper slips to physically sort and categorize emotions, facilitating a visual and mental method to manage one's emotional responses. The process involves writing down emotional triggers and corresponding feelings, placing them in separate pockets of the organizer, and mentally referring to this system when feeling overwhelmed, allowing individuals to 'file away' emotions temporarily. The author emphasizes the importance of not dwelling on these emotions and suggests that with practice, the technique can become second nature, potentially reducing the need for the physical organizer over time. The article concludes with a reminder that seeking professional help, such as therapy, is beneficial and not something to be ashamed of.

Opinions

  • The author views compartmentalization as a useful defense mechanism and coping strategy, particularly in high-stress situations.
  • There is an acknowledgment that while compartmentalization can be helpful in the short term, it may lead to difficulties if not managed properly or if used excessively.
  • The author shares personal experiences where compartmentalization was necessary for functioning during emotionally challenging times.
  • The exercise provided is seen as a tangible way to help individuals process and manage their emotions effectively.
  • The author suggests that the compartmentalization technique can be learned and improved with practice.
  • The article conveys that asking for professional help, such as therapy, is important for mental health maintenance, similar to regular car maintenance for ensuring functionality.

How to Pigeonhole Your Thoughts and Emotions For Dummies

Pixabay: Conmongt

Have you ever seen a shoe organizer? The kind that hangs on the back of a door? They’re very versatile and easy to use. I use it to stock the extras (make-up, toiletries, cold medicines, etc.) that won’t fit in the bathroom any other way. Now that you have a visual…

Did you know that you can sort your thoughts and emotions the same way? It’s called compartmentalizing. Forbes Magazine defines it this way:

“Psychology defines compartmentalization as a defense mechanism, or a coping strategy, which doesn’t impart a very good connotation. Put simply, it is how our minds deal with conflicting internal standpoints simultaneously. Some examples would be: a religious doctor, but has to separate her belief system from her practice at a women’s health clinic; a man who leaves his office at 6 pm, and refuses to think about work for the rest of the evening, so he can enjoy his time with his family or, at its extreme, soldiers who need to file away the trauma of horrific events in their minds, so they can continue operating in battle.”

To use some of my examples:

Taking care of my dying mother in her last days even though she was abusive when I was a child,

Working the 9/11 disaster with “tunnel vision” so that I could do my job,

Planning my sister’s funeral clear-headed when I wanted to just grieve.

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

I set aside my thoughts and feelings about the abuse that I endured as a child to do the task at hand — take care of my mother until she passed. It wasn’t always easy. I had changed over the years but she had not. She was still stuck in a kind of mental time warp. I had to compartmentalize my thoughts and emotions to do her laundry, drive her to chemo, etc.

When my youngest sister was killed the middle sister and my mother were in hysterics. They had their husbands to comfort them and escorted them out of the hospital. I was left with a fist full of change and the duty of calling everyone and letting them know. I had to compartmentalize my thoughts and emotions on this tragedy because I had to be focused on making a ton of calls and hearing the same condolences over and over and over again.

When 9/11 happened I worked 12-hours a day, 7-days a week for months. If I had taken the time to comprehend and process my job I would have never been able to do my job. So I compartmentalized my thoughts and emotions once again to assist survivors.

I used compartmentalization as a defense mechanism and a coping strategy. Once the tragedies were over however I was unable to unlearn this coping strategy which is a whole other ball of wax. Here’s an exercise to help you do this for yourself so you can survive whatever life throws at you.

Image by Annalise Batista from Pixabay

I bought my clear plastic shoe organizer at Walmart for $4.88 in 2018 (of course now it’s over $10). Get one and hang it somewhere you can see it when you need to work on this exercise but not out in the open where your process and progress could be interfered with (“Mom, what’s this?” sort of thing). Cut up some paper. I keep a stack of scrap paper in the bedroom for phone messages, grocery lists, etc. Hey, you’ve got to do something with the backs of all of that junk mail, right? Out of a typical sheet of paper cut out approx. 8 pieces. Big enough to write on and big enough to read through tears if need be. Now on each piece of paper jot down something that makes you emotional. Bad report cards from the kids, arguments with the spouse, parental issues, anything at all that comes to mind. Don’t overthink it. Just let it flow. Now set those slips aside.

Count out slips of paper that equal the number of pockets on the organizer. If you bought one that has 12 slots you’ll need 12 slips of paper, etc. On each of those write down ONE emotion or physical response. Here’s a list to help get you started:

Fear/Courage

Anger/Calmness

Sadness/Depression

Joy

Disgust

Surprise

Trust

Anticipation/Anxiety

Hatred

Betrayal

Envy

Shame

Pity

Image by Annalise Batista from Pixabay

You get the idea. If you get stuck there’s always good old Google. Now, place one emotion in each pocket until you’re out of slips and empty pockets. Now take each of the initial slips of paper that things or situations that make you emotional. Separate those by the emotions of each pocket.

Pocket One has Anger in it — place the slip that lists the spousal arguments

A child’s bad report card — place it in sadness for example.

Again don’t overthink the exercise. Go with your first gut reaction. Now stand back and take a look at the work you’ve done. Do they all pretty much make sense to you? Were there any surprises? Now get this image in your head. You may even want to take a picture of it with your phone so that you can look at it several times a day if and when it’s needed. The next time you begin to feel overwhelmed with emotions look at your project. In which pockets should your place this emotion for the time being? Mentally and emotionally place the current issue in this pocket and then LEAVE IT THERE. Don’t go back to pick it up and roll it around in your mind and soul some more. JUST WALK AWAY.

Yes I know it’s easier said than done thus the exercise. And the exercise doesn’t have to be over with. You can add more items to whatever pocket you want to whenever you want to. Place them there and then walk away. Once you’ve done this often enough, long enough you probably won’t even need the organizer anymore. You can always pay it forward and gift it to someone you know that has the same problem with dealing with their emotions at the moment.

I hope this helped. Practice makes perfect but don’t do what I did. I never took the slips OUT of the pockets. Now I’ve got the equivalent of an emotional drain blockage. I am in talk therapy for it and it helps a lot. There’s no shame in asking for help. If you take your car to the mechanic ever so often to have it checked out to make sure it’s in good working order, how much more necessary is it to do that for your mind, heart, body, and soul?

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay
Emotions
Health
Mental Health
Balance
Feelings
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