How to Persuade a Trump Voter

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room.

In his book The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided By Politics and Religion, the social psychologist Jonathan Haidt offers a useful metaphor to explain why reason so rarely prevails in political debate:

“[T]he mind is divided, like a rider on an elephant, and the rider’s job is to serve the elephant.”

In this analogy, the rider is our conscious, rational mind while the elephant is our gut-level feelings. Although the rider seems to be leading, the elephant is actually taking them for a ride.

We like to think our rational minds make decisions based on objective analysis of facts. In reality, however, most of our opinions are intuitions that we rationalize with logic and evidence collected after the fact.

This is a major reason why talking with Trump voters can be so frustrating: usually we’re talking with riders, not elephants, and those riders have little if any control over what the voter believes is right or true.

The truth about truthiness

Stephen Colbert may have been joking when he coined the term “truthiness,” but the word captures a fundamental facet of human psychology. That is, we find it almost impossible to disbelieve something that feels true or believe something that feels false.

Once someone supports Trump, they are unlikely to change their mind on the basis of logic or evidence alone because their gut feelings toward the president are largely fixed and positive. Negative facts and arguments about Trump will tend to be dismissed, ignored, forgotten, and disbelieved as long as a person’s gut-level intuition that he is a good guy remains unchanged. In cognitive psychology, we call the processes by which this happens the halo effect, motivated reasoning and confirmation bias.

Don’t talk with riders

If you want to influence Trump supporters, stop talking with riders and start talking with elephants.

This is harder than it sounds. Since riders are conspicuous and noisy while elephants are unobtrusive and quiet, they can be distracting. And, since riders are wizards at rationalizing, it’s easy to be lured into a dialog that initially appears reasoned and unbiased. Don’t be deceived — even when riders think they are in charge, elephants are almost always still leading the way.

In a typical political dialogue, there are two riders arguing about where to go. They debate the path forward using facts and reason to persuade each other. No matter how good their evidence or logic, however, the elephants just keep moving in the same direction.

Signs you’re talking with the other person’s rider, not their elephant:

• The conversation is going in circles
• They’re contradicting themselves
• They’re making arguments that don’t make sense
• They keep changing the basis of their argument
• They’re making multiple arguments “shotgun style” simultaneously

Talk with elephants

To influence Trump supporters, stop talking with riders and start talking with elephants.

Unlike riders, elephants don’t care much about reason or evidence, but they are heavily influenced by how they are treated by others. They are social creatures whose likes and dislikes are driven more by their herd than by logic or data.

The social influence that alters intuitions isn’t overt. It’s not “agree with me or else.” Threats of ostracism and punishment tend to produce compliance instead of change and occur at the conscious level of the rider not the elephant.

Social persuasion on the other hand is subtle and occurs via interpersonal cognitive dissonance. When someone you like and respect disagrees with your political assessments, it creates psychological stress. This stress is so unpleasant that most people are strongly motivated to find a way to resolve it in whatever way they can.

When you — an admitted Trump critic — talk with a Trump supporter who likes you as a person, their elephant will be uncomfortable knowing you disagree with them. As a result, they will feel emotional pressure to resolve their dissonance in one of two ways:

Change their feelings about you in a negative direction

Change their feelings about Trump in a negative direction

Which path they ultimately follow will depend on a variety of factors, but in general the more positive the Trump supporter’s intuitions are about you, the less positive their intuitions will be about Trump.

The takeaway?

The best way to weaken a person’s esteem for Trump is to strengthen their esteem for you.

How to befriend elephants

Making friends with elephants is easy. You learned everything you need to know in kindergarten. And Sunday school. And from your mom. And from Dale Carnegie.

Be kind. Be respectful. Be compassionate. Be humble. Treat others as you wish to be treated.

In political discussions this means (among other things):

• Don’t attack people
• Tolerate opposing views
• Listen without interrupting
• Don’t argue
• Listen to understand, not reply
• Find common ground
• Give others the benefit of the doubt

Give it a try

Next time you encounter a Trump voter, ignore their rider and try talking with their elephant. You’ll know immediately if it’s working.

Signs you’re talking with the other person’s elephant, not their rider:

• You feel like you’re getting to know them better
• They are making themselves vulnerable
• They are sharing their feelings as well as their beliefs
• They tell you they like you
• They are asking questions and listening to your answers
• They are engaged, curious, and compassionate

I predict you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the results. Let me know how it goes.

About the author

Dr. Karin Tamerius is a political therapist with advanced training in psychiatry and political psychology. She is the founder of Smart Politics, a nonprofit dedicated to teaching progressives how to communicate more persuasively with people across the political spectrum. She is the author of the Angry Uncle Bot in the New York Times.