How to Overcome Your Personal Weaknesses in 3 Steps
Getting stronger is all about strengthening your mental frame.
There was a time I used to be grumpy. I was working in an IT firm, and the job was too demanding. Sometimes, I would think of escaping to an unknown destination or wonder in the desert rather than working and meeting my aggressive boss.
I admit it was my first time doing data entry jobs, and I was terrible at it.
Though I was taking a course on computer training to foster my efficiency, I constantly doubted my ability to complete a task. Maybe I wasn’t putting much time and effort into such a task, or I avoided doing it altogether.
This made me hate my job. Still, I wouldn’t quit. I was determined to learn even though I wasn’t happy with the boss I had. My incompetence at the job, however, led to self-doubt and lower self-esteem.
The truth is my incompetence at work did not just affect my professional life; it also spread to my intimate relationships.
I didn’t feel like I deserved the men I was with. I was ashamed to be around their friends because, in my mind, I saw myself as a dummy.
In my head, I thought, “if I couldn’t handle my job well, what makes me think I have anything good to contribute to their conversation?”
Giving up some bad habits helped me find my confidence again. It wasn’t an easy journey, but it was worth it.
Stop doubting your instinct
Your gut instinct is the feeling you get when you do the right or wrong thing. For instance, if you have a gut instinct that your partner is the one, you may decide to make the relationship more serious.
But if your guts have resentments over who you are dating, you should trust it and define your relationship with that person, either as friends or something else.
Your gut feeling is the first thing you will think and feel in a situation. You should pay attention to this because it might be your mind’s way of protecting you from getting hurt.
Be yourself and be happy as you are
Acceptance is how you find your own fulfillment. How you define yourself will attract how people treat you.
If you are in the habit of bullying or saying negative things about yourself, the people you meet will treat you like trash because they see you do not value yourself.
You have to start treating yourself with more love if you want to attract people who will love you.
Try to be kind to yourself and question negative thoughts when you make a mistake. A good rule of thumb is to talk to yourself as you would to your friends.
Let your intellect and heart be your guides. If you are being intentional about dating, you can be confident that you will make prudent decisions.
Secure your boundaries with people
Setting boundaries can help you retain a sense of identity and personal space.
Make a list of what you need in a man and what you can compromise to have a fulfilled and healthy relationship.
It’s difficult to be in a relationship where you pretend to be who you are not just so you can impress your partner.
It’s not your job to convince those who find you unattractive to be with you. Or to show them how wrong they are. Or wallow in self-pity and play the victim.
What you are in control of, what you can do, is to find people who share a mutual attraction with you. And be happy that others are doing the same.
Yourself, your partner, and the relationship itself are three entities that need to be sustained, nourished, and feel respected.
