Don’t Be Afraid to Write your Truth
How to conquer your writing fears.
Writing is a hard process. It takes courage, perseverance, humility, and skills. And I’m only naming a few ingredients a writer needs in their recipe. When you write to the world, you are giving the most intimate parts of yourself.
Every story you tell has a piece of your soul.
Each story tells your truth.
When you write, you are exposing yourself in your naked skin to others to devour or savor your entire identity.
Now, it can be that you are extremely confident in yourself and you don’t care about what readers have to say about you or your writings. Kudos to you.
But for normal people like me, being exposed can be frightening. Who likes to be (miss)judged?
There is an inherent fear in writing openly and honestly about you, your life, and your opinions.
First comes the fear of not being good enough. Fear from your own judgment. That moment when you have something to say and then your ideas seem meaningless. There is nothing more terrifying than confronting your own flaws and discovering that you are a fraud. Am I good enough? You think.
How many times have you stared at a blank page, wanting to put your thoughts down, frozen by the fear of deceit? Writing makes things real, and sometimes reality hurts.
Then comes the fear of rejection by others. What will they think? Will they like it? And this feeling is only human. Validation from others is a psychological need, crucial to build self-esteem and achieve self-actualization.
But when you write your truth, chances are people will not like it. The truth can be ugly. Worst, some people will be hurt by it. And many times, hurt people get bitter. They’ll do anything to pay you back, eye for an eye.
These fears are normal, they are the necessary evil. Because writers’ fears are what moves us forward to speak our truth, to be the voice of those who can’t speak, to become better writers, to become better humans.
However, there is a thin line between fear and panic. One push us to do better, the other keeps us from doing anything.
Now, when you are an honest writer, you need to mitigate your fears before they can freeze you. Escaping is not a solution. You only come around your fear when you stand straight and confront it. Only then you will win.
It’s easy to give up when you are afraid, when failing is an option.
But you can’t. Not if you want to be a truthful writer.
Here are 3 fears most writers, both young and experienced, have to face many times in our lives and some advice on how to overcome them.
1. Fear of not having what it takes.
One of the major reasons we give up on something is because we are afraid of not having what it takes. You sit in front of your black page and doubts start filling your mind before you can even put your first word down. You doubt your skills. You doubt your feelings and opinions. You doubt your truth.
The self-doubt gets worse once you finish your first draft. That moment when you are ready to hit the publish button and you realize that your piece is not good enough. The self-doubt then turns into the feeling of being a fraud. You feel you are kidding yourself and your readers. You ask yourself: Why will other people read what I’ve written? What would they care about it?
The urge to delete your draft gets so strong because avoiding your fear is easier than confronting it. Before erasing a complete day of writing, remember that even best-selling authors had humble beginnings. Writing is a skill. You can learn and improve through practice. Your first draft will suck. Probably your second, and your third will suck too. Now that doesn’t mean you don’t have what it takes to become an exceptional writer.
Something beautiful about art is that it is infinite, you can come back as many times as you want to revise it. The last draft is nothing like the first draft and is never final.
Your perfectionism will only grow over time. You’ll find your first writings immature. But they show your journey, the process you have gone through to get where you are now. They are a reminder of your humanity, your imperfection, your uniqueness.
Advice
When you feel you don’t have what it takes or when you are full of self-doubt, try shifting to something you feel you are good at. Go painting, if that’s your thing. Or running, or cooking, or whatever. Do that thing that feels innate to you. Lift yourself up from the feeling of not being good enough. Then come back to your draft, read it out loud. Draft the second version. Ask your self why it is good before you highlight all the wrong in it. How can you make it better? Ask an honest and experienced reviewer to give you feedback. And finally, remember you are not alone in this.
Every other writer has doubted her abilities once, many times.
Even in the solitude of self-doubt, you are not alone.
2. Fear of rejection.
The pain caused by the fear of rejection is a normal feeling. Acknowledge this and you are more likely to embrace it. As a writer, the feeling of rejection is your daily bread. It might be hard to swallow, but it will also feed you.
As painful as it can be, rejection is the only thing that gets you closer to publishing your work. The more you pitch your work and send your writings, the more you will get used to the feelings of rejection. The easier you will deal and cope with those feelings.
Remember that rejection hurts, but like any other feeling, it will pass sooner or later.
Before you stumble to the fear of rejection, ask yourself what ideas are you not sharing because you worry others won’t welcome them? What requests are you not making because you worry others will deny them? What steps are you not taking toward your goal, just because you fear you will be exposed and vulnerable?
Rejection doesn’t make you a bad writer. Not writing and not publishing your work does.
Advice
Frame rejection as an opportunity to improve your work and become a better writer. Sometimes it takes just a few adjustments for having your writing piece accepted. There are many reasons for not having a “yes” at this time, and many don’t depend on your skills or talent. It can be just the wrong timing.
Know that rejection will exist even after being accepted. People will have disagreeing views, biases, different needs, and even limitations. Your readers are also human. And humans also show rejection and negative emotions to opposing opinions and original thoughts. Don’t judge them because they judge you. If anything, feel proud. They’ve read your work, for the better or the worse.
3. Fear of speaking the truth.
No matter how much we say we prefer the “nasty truths” over the “silly lies”, the bold truth is controversial and hard to swallow. Bluntness is never welcomed.
Most of the time we write to take our feelings and thoughts out. We write (maybe) because we are too scared to speak about it. We write to express what our voices couldn’t. We write our anger, our embarrassment, our sadness, our most intimate desires.
When we write about the unspeakable, we awake the curiosity and morbidness of the reader. It calls for controversy and heated discussions. Some readers will not like what you have to say. And many are just waiting for you to throw the bait at them so they can rip your soul out.
Who likes the reprisal, the judgment, the misinterpretation, the provocation?
Advice
Life is full of trolls and haters. The truth is controversial. But bluntness is necessary. Don't stop yourself from being you. Let your writings show who you are and speak for you. Stand by your beliefs, by your values, by your ideals.
Be bold. Words can drive change, words can safe lives. Write to survive. Write to live.
People will get hurt, even when you try to not hurt anyone. Sometimes it is jealousy, sometimes it is resentment. Most of the time is just not personal. So don’t take it (too) personal.
Take criticism as something positive. If it’s genuine, it can help you revisit your opinions and ideals. You can learn from it and grasp valuable insights. If it's destructive or vindictive, let it go, it will pass. The good news is that people stopped to listen, even in spite of their ill intentions.
If it matters to you, write it. Nothing else matters.
It’s easy to get obsessed by engagement and recognition. Likes, claps, views are like soothers. They keep you calm and happy. But when you don’t get it, you feel lost, like a fraud, you lose your identity.
Are you feeling trapped by the need of engagement and recognition? Them, you might find this next story helpful.
