How To Overcome Shame and Pride

There are ways to face your fear and triumph.

Shame is an emotion that is linked to the feeling of inability to achieve a state considered ideal, and fear of being rejected when acting or expressing oneself.

The main factors that generate feelings of shame are:

· Insecurity,

· Fear of being judged for an attitude you had or would like to have,

· Believing that you are outside of a standard that you should follow,

· Self-esteem problems,

· Exaggerated pride that does not allow you to make mistakes.

Shame and pride arise when you see yourself from someone else’s point of view. You fear having an inadequate image when being observed.

Pride can indicate arrogance, selfishness, and vanity, causing shame in the individual who is unable to maintain the high position he or she desires to have in a certain situation.

Therefore, in order to eliminate shame you must believe that the person who is judging you is making a good impression rather than thinking that they are being disappointed in you, even if you think this is not true. You should expect them to pay attention to your qualities and not your defects.

Try to believe this to have courage and not feel humiliated. Tell yourself that it’s important that you believe you are being judged positively just so you don’t feel embarrassed about expressing yourself or facing a difficult situation.

In other words, transfer the importance of other people’s judgment to the importance of your positive perception of the possible judgment they will make. So that you can give them the best possible impression by not being overwhelmed by shame and showing weakness.

This technique will work if you understand that how you imagine the other person’s judgment is more important than their judgment. Imagine yourself victorious and you will eventually end up giving a good impression to the other person.

This way you will avoid blushing, stuttering, or speaking with a shaky voice.

Think that the other person also has flaws and understands that no one is perfect, without expecting too much from you.

However, if you are very proud or if you depend on the other person’s approval because they are very important to you, this tactic will not work. As you will not be able to help but fear that person’s judgment, no matter how much you try to be indifferent.

In this case, you need to face your fear of being rejected, humiliated, or ridiculed with courage, no matter how embarrassed you are.

You will undoubtedly feel bad and try to avoid this unpleasant situation, but remember that you need to have the courage to face it because you depend on this confrontation to get what you want.

Remember your victories and the obstacles you managed to overcome in life to have the courage to face this challenge.

Think that if you are mistreated, it is not your fault, but the fault of the person who did not know how to be delicate and show compassion.

Finally, think that you have not lost anything of value by being disapproved by the person who was so important to you, because in fact, they lost the opportunity to see your positive side and to be loved or helped by you.

How To Face Social Phobia

If your problem is more serious and you cannot face any social situation without feeling ashamed, fearful, and intimidated, you need psychoanalysis.

I have been helped immensely by the dream interpretation method discovered by Carl Jung and I recommend it to everyone. You just need to study the meaning of dream symbols to be able to interpret your dreams and receive guidance from the unconscious mind that produces dreams and has undoubted wisdom.

This way, you will not depend on someone else for support.

If, however, you don’t have time to study Jung’s method, be sure to look for a psychologist.

Don’t let shame and exaggerated pride stop you from having a satisfying social life and getting closer to the people you care about. You will learn to follow certain steps until you definitively overcome fear and shame and feel comfortable in your social environment.