MENTAL HEALTH

How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome

The 5 types of impostors and what to do about them.

“This phenomenon of capable people being plagued by self-doubt has a name — the impostor syndrome.”

— Sheryl Sandberg

If you have you ever had the following thoughts:

I am not good enough.

I feel like I don’t deserve this position or success coming my way.

I feel uncomfortable when others praise me.

I feel like a fraud.

Then, you might have experienced Impostor Syndrome.

What is impostor syndrome?

Impostor syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which you feel like you don’t deserve your accomplishments. You might feel like you don’t belong, don’t deserve your success, or are “out of place.” You might even be constantly worried others will expose you as a fraud.

The term was first used by psychologists Suzanna Imes and Pauline Rose Clance in the 1970s in an article called The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. That’s because they notices that women who were overachievers had a tendency to reconsider themselves despite their successes.

Since then, the term has been widely used and applied to a wide range of people.

Who Gets Impostor Syndrome?

According to The Impostor Phenomenon article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science in 2011, it is estimated that 70% of people will experience at least one episode of this phenomenon in their lives.

Impostor Syndrome can affect anyone. You can be an artist, a researcher, a teacher, a student…you name it. People like Michelle Obama, Neil Gaiman, Tom Hanks, and Maya Angelou have come out and admitted to having experienced impostor syndrome.

“Each time I write a book, every time I face that yellow pad, the challenge is so great. I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody and they’re going to find me out.”

— Maya Angelou

When experiencing impostor syndrome, any kind of success comes at a high price- constant anxiety of being exposed as a fraud. You overcompensate by over-preparing or working much harder than necessary to “make sure” that nobody finds you out.

What causes it?

You might have come from a family where there was a lot of pressure put on your achievements; overly critical parents who would not praise you much. Or parents who flipped back and forth between offering praise and being critical.

It doesn’t have to be parents exclusively, but any caregiver or extended family you spent time with as a child such as aunts, uncles, grandparents.

Another cause that can trigger impostor syndrome could be entering a new role.

A new role can mean anything from transitioning to the next school cycle, to a promotion or a change in jobs or becoming a parent for the first time. Basically, anything that involves associating yourself with a new identity.

For instance, a big change for me was the transitioning from primary school- where there was only one homeroom teacher that as it happens was also my aunt; to middle school where all of the sudden I had many different teachers with different demands and expectations. The adjustment period for me was quite lengthy and difficult. I felt very confused and without guidance. As an overly sensitive teenager, I experienced a while aray of emotions and feelings of not belonging.

This has reoccurred several times in my life since then but as a Psychologist, I now know how to deal with it and I am also better equipped to help others in doing so as well.

Impostor syndrome expert Dr. Valerie Young found there are 5 types of impostors.

To be able to overcome the impostor syndrome is very important to first become aware of which type you are.

Here are the 5 types of impostors and tips on how to overcome them:

1. The Perfectionist

Anything less than 110% perfect is a failure. You overwork yourself, double and triple-checking every minor detail to make sure there are no flaws.

Even if everyone else thinks you did an amazing job, you kick yourself for a minor thing that most often goes unnoticed by others.

How to overcome it

🅐 One of the best ways is by applying the GEQ Method.

GEQ stands for “Good Enough Quality.” In other words, it’s better to hand in something that’s good rather than strive for the best. Perfectionists want to spend more time preparing, so you’ve got to break that cycle with action.

Done is better than perfect.

🅑 The unfinished drawing method

You start drawing something, set a timer for let’s say 5 minutes, and when the alarm goes off, you stop. Leave the drawing like that. In the beginning, is going to nag you but this acts as desensitization to perfectionism.

“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”

— John Steinbeck

2. The Natural Genius

Do you think you must always be the smartest in the room, always feel like you have to be extremely informed about a topic even before starting the class? Do you feel less competent just because someone knew an answer you didn’t?

What you often don’t realize is that there’s a mid-stage process called learning that takes beginners to the pro level, so when faced with setbacks, you usually question their own competency.

How to overcome it

To overcome The Natural Genius type, try cultivating a growth mindset.

A growth mindset, or a beginner’s mindset as conceived by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck and colleagues, is the belief that a person’s capacities and talents can be improved over time.

A growth mindset contrasts with a fixed mindset. The latter is the limiting belief that the capacity to learn and improve cannot be meaningfully developed. The growth mindset, conversely, is open to effort and patience.

🅐 So first, sit with yourself and reflect on what kind of mindset you have. Realize that a fixed mindset is holding you back.

🅑Be kind and patient with yourself.

By adopting a growth mindset and being patient with yourself, you will realize that more things can be achieved. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will your new skill.

“A year from now you may wish you had started today.”

— Karen Lamb

3. The Expert

You are always trying to learn more and are never satisfied with your level of understanding. Even though you are often highly skilled, you often downplay your own expertise in your own eyes.

You always pursue different unrelated topics and life paths that only reinforce the idea that you are not knowledgeable and well-prepared enough to take action.

I have met many people who are not willing to take the leap and start their practice because they always feel underprepared or that there is much more to learn.

How to overcome it

🅐Focus on developing one skill at once. For instance, if you are passionate about life coaching and self-improvement, attend the proper courses, read the books, do the inner work.

🅑Give your undivided attention to the matter at hand. Don’t venture into other things at the same time. You will end up feeling overwhelmed and feeling like you want to quit.

“Do not be discouraged because you cannot learn all at once; learn one thing at a time, learn it well, and treasure it up, then learn another truth and treasure that up, and in a few years you will have a great store of useful knowledge.”

— Wilford Woodruff

4. The Solist

You prefer doing everything by yourself, never asking for help because that would mean showing signs of weakness or incompetence to others.

How to overcome it

Working solo can be a good thing as well. It absolutely doesn’t mean you have to always be involved in teamwork.

The problem might appear when you really don’t want to ask people for help and prefer struggling because of fear of how others might perceive you.

🅐 If you are surrounded by naysayers this could be a reason. I wrote a full-length article on How to Deal With Naysayers, you can find it here.

🅑Learning to ask for help is very important in overcoming this type of impostor syndrome. You are not weak, nor incompetent. You are a human being and as a social creature, asking for help from your peers is absolutely normal.

“Healing takes time, and asking for help is a courageous step.”

— Mariska Hargitay

5. The Superwoman/Man

You keep on taking on more and more responsibilities than what can actually carry.

You have a hard time saying no and tend to always put others’ needs and wills first. You end up having so many things on your plate, you are very often on the verge of exhaustion.

This type is usually also a people pleaser. Always seeking external validation especially if in a situation with a person who reminds you of a parental authoritative figure. Let’s say you had a very authoritative mother. Now every time you come across a person who subconsciously reminds you of her traits, you position yourself from a child’s stand. And try gaining her approval by undertaking more things than you can carry.

How to overcome it

🅐 Become aware of these critical parental figures in your life that you are subconsciously still trying to please.

🅑Learn to say no and set better boundaries. This doesn’t mean you are not going to help others anymore but that you are going to prioritize what is truly important to you. Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

“Let today mark a new beginning for you. Give yourself permission to say NO without feeling guilty , mean, or selfish. Anybody who gets upset and/or expects you to say YES all of the time clearly doesn’t have your best interest at heart, Always remember: You have a right to say NO without having to explain yourself.”

— Stephanie Lahart

Takeaways

1. Impostor syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which you feel like you don’t deserve your accomplishments.
2. 70% of people will experience at least one episode of this phenomenon in their lives.
3. The roots of IS can be:

• overly critical parents who did not praise you much.

• parents who flipped back and forth between offering praise and being critical.

• entering a new role in your life.

4. There are 5 types of impostors:

➊ The Perfectionist

➋ The Natural Genius

➌ The Expert

➍ The Solist

➎ The Superwoman/Man

5. You can overcome the impostor syndrome, share your gifts with others and achieve a more anxiety-free life.

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt

The most important thing is to become aware of which type you are and then work on not allowing it to hold you back. It takes time, practice, and courage.

Knowing about impostor syndrome doesn’t mean it’s never going to resurface in your life. It means that you are now better equipped to navigate your way through it.

A great way of thinking about the impostor syndrome is that whenever you start experiencing it, it’s because you are stepping into something bigger than yourself.

Impostor syndrome never shows up when you are still in a comfort zone and as we all know, there is no growth in the comfort zone. Thus, impostor syndrome can be seen as a good indicator you are getting to the next level in your life.

So acknowledge it, listen to what it has to say to you, work through it and then allow yourself to experience higher realms of opportunities and accomplishments.

You can do it!

Thank you for reading! I appreciate you!

I would like to thank Tze Lin Sam for expressing her interest in Impostor Syndrome in one of her previous comments. It encouraged me to finish this draft on it.

You can let me know in the comments below if you have any topic suggestions in regards to psychology, psychotherapy, mental health or self-improvement.

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