How to Outfox The Sneaky Mental Trick That is Stealing Your Peace to Reclaim Your Serenity

Navigating the desire that never leaves us alone.

I was a big misfit in college.

I used to ask every kid I met, “Why are you here?” and always get confused faces. The majority lacked purpose, enthusiasm, and boldness.

It was utterly disappointing.

Even the talented musical kid that sings his butt off in his dorm room, opted for a shadow “economist” career instead.

Tragic.

While everyone fell asleep in lectures and sleep-walked to the cafeteria day after day, I was busy pulling the trigger on everything that tickled my curiosity.

I was sketching out forex trading strategies in lectures, calculating ROI on my teddy bears flipping “hustle” on eBay, and coaching my pro gamers team for the championship.

Everything I did for myself felt fulfilling.

Everything that I did for college felt agonizing.

After 3 years of dropping in and out of courses, I finally signed off my exmatriculation papers to drop out for good.

It felt liberating.

My beloved girlfriend at the time also happened to drop out of her course to become a web designer. We were rebels, we were ready to do anything to find our fit in this world.

That tiny dorm room became our headquarters of self-actualization.

The mornings were for journaling, meditating, planning, and working on our goals. The middays were for earning a living and exercising and the nights were for annoying the neighbors with “noises.”

In our own tiny space in this vast world and after the hardships of trying to find a footing, we finally found peace with ourselves and the world.

Until…

My mind couldn’t find problems to solve, so it created one.

Slowly, a desire kept bubbling up and grew bigger and bigger.

“I want more.”

The desire to work day and night consumed me alive. It was my first thought when I opened my eyes and the one that kept me up at night.

All my efforts started feeling insufficient to achieve my dreams. Every moment that I wasn’t working in felt wasted. Everything from watching the office in bed to midday strolls to our whine down time felt wrong to me

My presence when we were together was shaken. I was physically there, but mentally, I was at my desk.

In my mind, what stood between me and glory, was the relationship.

It was the solution to all my problems; it was everything I needed.

Eventually, I had to come clean and call it quits.

A$$hole move or not.

It was my truth, and I had to live it up.

Do you remember your last “Everything I Need”?

Putting aside the righteousness/wrongfulness of that decision. This once furnace of desire quickly shapeshifted into a candle.

One year and 5 months later, I know this wasn’t “everything I needed.” Because from where I stand today, I have new “Everything I need” Items on my list.

I learned that this thought never leaves us alone.

I watched my friends go through it as well. When they were in college, everything that they needed was to graduate. After that, it was finding a job. After that, it was marriage.

Babies come after that, I assume?

We evolve through life, and our desire transforms as a result. That’s healthy.

What is not healthy is letting desire rob us of fully immersing ourselves in the life we built. The life that once upon a time was exactly everything we needed.

Stop and marvel at the distance.

“Contentment is the only real wealth.” — Alfred Nobel

Don’t confuse contentedness with complacency like I did when I was younger.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are settling.

It means you have matured enough to realize that life is a long game and happiness isn’t found at the destination but in your mind, one grateful moment away.

Check yourself, and look at how your habits/body/language/values have evolved. Look at how much more responsible and sturdy you’ve become. Look how your past pain raises your stress threshold and made you resilient.

Broken as you were, you didn’t give up on your unreasonable demands to become better. Even though you could have easily done so. Numerous times I bet.

You also didn’t get hit by a bus or the million chaotic ways that could have ended it all.

Gosh… it’s astonishing.

It’s unbelievable!

Don’t shrug it off; bow your head a little and crack that contagious smile of yours.

Your brain will always trick you into believing you lack something critical.

Don’t let your preoccupation with excellence block you from enjoying the quality of life you worked so hard for.

Regardless of how fast you did move. The proof is that you are here now.