LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
How To Nurture Friendships and Love People.
Having even one person that you can count on in your life makes all the difference in the world. Barring that, a pal to grab a bite with is pretty darn nice, too.
Most people will find themselves hungry for a meaningful connection to another human at some point in their lives. This may only happen once or rarely for those living a life deeply connected to many. For others, loneliness may be a long term theme.
Whether you are the quintessential introvert or the life of the party sooner or later you are going to find yourself looking for the realest of rarities this world has to offer — one true friend.
Good luck with that.
A true friend is not any easier to find than true love. It happens and God help you if you blow your chance because finding such a thing twice is…well…rare.
“And if you can’t be with the one you love, honey. Love the one you’re with. Love the one you’re with.” ~Steven Sills
Not everyone will be able to play Thelma to your Louise but every friendship does have meaning and value and, therefore, should be tended to.
Humans are fundamentally social, so even though our friendship requirements differ, we need one another. From that vantage point, let’s think about the value of our friendships and how to care for them.
Authentic Connection — In order to truly enjoy the company of another person you have to be yourself and so do they. Have fun! Laugh until you cry! Let yourself connect with the people that truly spark your interest. Don’t waste your time trying to be someone that you aren’t. The more in touch you are with who you are as a person, the easier it is to truly connect with like-minded individuals that make you feel alive. Be brave enough to connect authentically with people that truly wake you up.
Participate — You’ll have to show up if you want to be a friend. Spending time with people is the best way to demonstrate affection and consideration. Everything else (phone calls, video chats, texts, etc.) is a poor second to in-person. Treat your friends the way that you want to be treated! Respond to texts, calls, and invites quickly. Also, reach out in kind. You only have one shot at life. Guess what? This one shot applies to every relationship and experience. Accept the invite to Belize or the bookstore on the corner. Volunteer to help clean the garage. Play video games. Whatever the “it” is you two have in common, friendships need equal and frequent participation. Many friendships only last for “a season” so make the most of them while they are yours to enjoy.
Learn to Let Go — Friends do not belong to you and they are not something you get to “keep”. Of course you love your friends! You have common interests, they make you laugh, and they “get” you. What’s not to love? That doesn’t mean they owe you a lifelong allegiance! People change. People fall in love and start families. People move away. People have free will. Whatever the cause, you will probably have to let go of more friends in your life than you ever will “keep”. This is the nature of life and life is always changing. Letting go gracefully is a beautiful thing.
If we are lucky, we have friends so dear that we can share everything from macaroni salad to the depths of our soul without fear of recrimination. But every friend needn’t be bothered with the depths of our soul. Not every relationship is wired for that kind of intensity.
We can have a very good time getting to know the wonderful people that are in our lives and, if we are wise, learn to make ourselves into the kind of friend that is worth having along the way.
Friendships come in all shapes and sizes and each time we make a friend we are given a new opportunity. Friends give us the chance to change, to grow, to think, to love, and to be in the world that is different than we were before.
The bottom line? Learning to be a good friend and to love others as they are is time well spent.
Subscribe to my newsletter to be notified when I publish a new article. Use this link to sign up for a Medium Membership, and I will get a portion of your membership fee which will help support me and give you access to thousands of stories written by thousands of talented writers! When you use my link to sign up, I also get emotional validation that I desperately crave. Thank you!