How to Not Get Mad At Everyone

Even when you really want to

I’m sitting on the tube.

A baby’s crying. Some guy is coughing. Two friends are arguing.

And all I want is some peace and quiet. But instead, I’m annoyed, just on the verge of getting mad.

But I stop myself.

I ask myself, why is that person breathing loudly? Well, he looks slightly obese, so it might have been difficult for him to climb the stairs and get onto the train.

My anger lessens.

Why is the baby crying? I don’t know. But the mother must be embarrassed and frustrated. Babies are meant to be fussy, anyway.

My anger lessens.

Why are the 2 friends arguing? No clue. But I know what it’s like to be loud with friends on the train and not consider others. It’s natural.

My anger fades.

I smile, pull out my phone, go onto the medium app, block out the noise and fade into the world of writing.

What just happened? Well, I took a couple of moments and practiced a bit of empathy. I put myself in their shoes and understood why they may be doing what they’re doing. By doing so, I’m able to decrease my anger and frustration.

And in my experience there exist 2 keys that work for anger prevention. Realistic expectations and complete acceptance.

Reset Your Expectations

It’s totally normal to judge someone. We have this expectation in our minds that everyone should be perfect and not annoy you. Yet that’s the problem those expectations aren’t realistic. What you need to do is reset your expectations.

By expecting that everyone around you will act like a grade-A douche; every now and then when someone does, you won’t be surprised.

By resetting your expectations of those around you. You protect yourself from the risk of getting mad at them.

Accept People for Who They Are

I’m the oldest out of the three kids. And for my two younger brothers, I would jump in front of a bus for them. But at the same time, they can make me want to be the bus driver. I know what it’s like to get easily annoyed by people. I’m a perfectionist and hate when my family makes things messy.

But then again, I know my family. I don’t blame them for their actions because that’s who they are. And I accept them for that. When I see a pile of dirty dishes or a mountain of dirty laundry, I don’t get mad. I shrug my shoulders and know that that’s my family.

But not everyone who annoys you is family. It could be a total stranger like on the tube that could make you mad. Yet, in your mind, you’ve already established that people will likely be acting like grade-A douches.

Then you accept them for that, and you, in turn, accept their actions. Accepting people for who they are completes the cycle of anger prevention. It establishes within you an inner peace that you’ve come to terms with the person you’re having trouble with. I know of many fragmented relationships that have been healed through acceptance. And I genuinely believe acceptance can do the same for an agitated mind.

It’s ok to get mad (sometimes)

Anger is a human emotion. And everyone has a right to be angry now and then. But like all emotions, in moderation, it remains safe, yet too much can be harmful.

But as humans, it’s unbelievably easy to let anger take over the driver’s seat and guide our emotions. But that only ends up hurting ourselves and sometimes others.

Know this article isn’t a guide for anger management. It’s a guide for anger prevention, as anger is probably the one emotion we always regret. And honestly, I’ve spent too much of my life being angry, and I don’t want anyone else feeling that same regret.