How To Not Beat Yourself Up

Whether you are a Boxer or a French Bull-dog or are Russian, Chinese, LGBT, a musician, or a teacher or a writer or a Public Servant, YOU matter.

You’ve grown up and Life has thrown you some curved balls. Maybe patterns of emotional ill health or a genetic condition has brought you grief, or challenging external conditions put upon you have upset and distressed you.

In our challenging 3-D world with a lot of disconnected pieces and some elements pushing their own wheelbarrow, it’s sometimes not easy to stay positive and hopeful, or to believe in oneself.

Here’s what I have found to stop beating myself up and to choose to be happy and positive.

Think About Your Own Feelings

While it’s great for you to care about other’s feelings, you must do a reality check and separate the causes and effects of how you feel and how others feel.

For example, if someone criticises you and you feel upset or demoralised, ask yourself WHY did that person do what s/he did? Has he been grumpy lately and is he just being a little inconsiderate?

Is your Manager or Supervisor inexperienced or feeling pressured and that’s why she “put you down” over something?

The Bottom Line is that if someone makes you feel trodden upon, s/he may be acting from a space of in-security or ignorance. In addition, that person may be picking up on the collective consciousness, which means that sometimes heavy energies from group worries infiltrate us.

It is very important that you HONOUR your own feelings as much as someone else’s

People may sub-consciously criticise you (not even be aware of their impact upon you or not mean to be critical) but if what they do really rattles your cage, let them know civilly HOW YOU FELT over what they did or said.

You can even do this with someone close to you by reminding them of your shared reality. For example, if your partner or someone complains that there are dishes once again in the sink (implying that it’s your turn to wash them) perhaps remind them that it’s great or good that you have actually got dishes and food to put on them, and that each of you does your bit to help run the household (for example, you do all of the laundry).

KNOW that it is your RIGHT to assert how you FEEL and that you should do so in a pleasant or civil and timely manner

From satisfaction or contentment comes Joy. 😃

If you tend to be hard on yourself for how others feel, or sensitive to what you believe others think about you, you need to dig deep and analyse (think about) WHY you feel the way you do.

Try DEEP ACCEPTANCE which is NOT the same as LIKING something or tolerating something you don’t like, while not doing anything to change it.

The PAST is past and can’t “un-happen” !! The “past” exists for us to LEARN from it. This is “deep acceptance.”

Are there any patterns in your personal Life, like thinking most people don’t like you or don’t understand you? Looking at the evidence will reveal that more people appreciate you than do not, and those who don’t, well, their approval doesn’t matter!

Are you clinging to the PAST, holding onto grudges or resentments over past happenings? It is illogical to invest your precious energy into shoring up thoughts and feelings about essentially “poor me” or “why me” or “it’s not fair”. Replace these thoughts with the following mantra.

“My Life really has been difficult but I’m glad that I am learning from it, and that I had and still have opportunities to turn my life around, and I express gratitude for all the good fortune that I have, and I attract more good fortune.”

Are you afraid of the PRESENT or of the FUTURE? Do you think vaguely that “People owe you?” The truth is that YOU owe yourself comforting positive thoughts and reminders of your own Greatness. 😃

You need to unravel the garment of Life that is keeping you together, by accepting that the past has gone and has to be accepted BUT LEARNED FROM and not necessarily all of it liked; you need to recognise your current fears of doing what you like (however mild) and to recognise that your CHOICES of your thoughts in the present influence your feelings and what Future you create.

Your GOAL is to:

Convert sad, angry, and scared feelings into HAPPY FEELINGS. 😃

Think about and transform your Feelings !! Be brave and step up to yourself, and share how you feel with significant others, in a kind or civil way.

Change your feelings to HAPPY ones by delving into the energy behind all feelings and causes behind an incident, and “turning them about” by illuminating what really is important and useful.

Don’t Burden Yourself

This is a big one. We live in a Connected World and you care a lot about others and what’s going on in our world. If you reach stumbling blocks while trying to complete a project, smile at the opportunity you have had, and try a different method.

Amid the intense living of today you may need to un-plug yourself from the News unless it’s the Good News Network or other good news, and turn off negative energies or worries.

Perhaps you can achieve this by listening privately to music at work (if you can) or tuning out when your colleagues talk about the latest news stories, or surrounding yourself with White Light and wearing or carrying crystals, meditating, resting, sleeping, using the power of positive thinking, letting “time pass”; or by other measures.

Think about the possibilities.

Believe in the infinite Potential or in the multitude of positive possibilities as a Likelihood. Have FAITH in the ability of humankind to shape our world for good for all, because what you focus on attracts more of that.

It is critical, I have found, when you are feeling depressed or discouraged or like giving up, that you do the following.

MAINTAIN your Immune System through a healthy lifestyle ( eating fruit and vegies, exercising, positive frame of mind, right action steps toward meeting your goals, take antioxidants if you want to, listening to inspiring music, dancing, talking to nice people, engaging in art work etc.)

ENGAGE in a variety of activities that you love, to distract yourself from worries or concerns, so renew that project you put on the back-burner or start something fresh, hop onto the internet and research opportunities like online courses, or for paid or unpaid work, investigate volunteer positions, Up Works, Simbi, Fiverr and maybe freelance opportunities or writing competitions etc. if you feel so called.

KNOW AND FEEL THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE

This is the one piece of advice that if none other, you MUST take on!

This year I will turn 57 years of age and I am sharing the fact that the Universe has a way of delivering an essential message to you until you fully embrace and live it, and that message is the SAME for each and every one of us! It is:

You are doing enough, do not burden yourself with too much responsibility

The way that many of us are brought up is to to think about our Blessings and to think about and help others. Yes, you may like to support your friends and family and Life and the Environment in general, but please, every morning that you get up, think about the hundreds of good things that you yourself have achieved.

Look up inspirational works, or at your blogs or writing or get out your art-work or your photos, resume, school-work or University awards or results or reports, or your Diary and remind yourself that you have done enough for YOU.

NEVER GIVE UP ……. get Help if you really need it …. tell a friend or a family member, or publicly write how you feel, or tell a Facebook group member from a close spiritual group that you are feeling “down” and things are getting to you, and if you like, WHY or WHAT.

That way someone can remind you that there are MILLIONS of good people around the world working for peace and fairness and happiness for all Living beings and working for the environment; and that you are definitely not alone. YOU are not responsible yourself for solving all the problems of the World.

You can ask for help and you shouldn’t hesitate to do so.

Trusted others and your own Inner Resources will remind you that you are the GREATEST and that you have done MORE THAN ENOUGH and that TOGETHER the World will change for the BETTER.

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

If you are feeling defeated for any reason, it’s time to take a deep breath and to raise your head and take action.

Don’t give up and let your immune system collapse or something else to happen. Watch your thoughts and pray or talk out loud to your Guardian Angel or Higher Self, or write out your worries and really look at the validity of them, with someone else if you can.

Oprah’s website says this:

If things are going catastrophically awry, you are allowed to wallow, of course you are — but for exactly four minutes. Here’s what to start during minute five.

Read more at:

If you take the advice from those who have felt defeated, you will have extra resources to get through the darker times, but mostly what will pull you through is LOVE.

Don’t Feel Guilty Over Your Pleasures

You have probably been told to think about others, especially those not as fortunate as yourself.

Remember that you have “earned your stripes” or that you are entitled to creature comforts and happiness as much as the next person.

Don’t think that because you have something that means somebody else goes without. With what you’ve got, you are doing your best to support others and Earth.

Change your feelings, don’t burden yourself, and change your thoughts.

Really LOVE yourself. Care for yourself. 💛 Love yourself as you love another, and your Higher Self and spiritual guides will help you get through anything.

You are Enough and if you believe it so, the World is Enough too.

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